Who’s the one person I would turn to if I had an incredibly disastrous drug problem and, on top of that, a lot of legal troubles and, oh, not much of a career to speak of? Charlie Sheen, obviously! Sheen, who has it all together, as we all know, offered to be a mentor to Lindsay Lohan, who I have to keep reminding myself is only 26 years old. "She can continue to hang out with her dress-shredding club buddies," Sheen told TMZ over the weekend, "or turn to me for some advice from a guy who’s been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey." In a brief moment of clarity, Lohan had her PR people issue a statement saying that she does not plan on being Sheen’s, uh, mentee. She does admit, however, that her "life is out of control." Progress, people!
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