Sure, Let’s Just Make ‘Top Chef’ and ‘The Bachelorette’ Into One Show

In what is either the most delicously genius idea in the history of reality television or proof that network execs have just given up, here comes the news that NBC will be dumping Top Chef and The Bachelorette into one giant mixing bowl of TV junk food and creating some new piece of garbage that we’ll probably have to pay someone to recap for us. 

The Observer‘s Drew Grant, who also happens to be BlackBook‘s current True Blood expert, discovered the casting call today and, well, it’s about as insane as you expect:

NBC is casting for a modern-day dating show that brings together everyone’s two favorite things: food and love.

Each episode pits real-life single men in competition with each other in the kitchen as they try to win the affection of our lovely bachelorette. The single guys will field questions while simultaneously cooking the bachelorette’s favorite dish. With the clock ticking down…who can keep their cool, let their personality shine and deliver the dish that will seal the deal? In the end the best plate gets the date!

We are looking for lively, engaging real women and men for a fun new dating show. Contestants should be 27 — 42 (any ethnicity), genuinely single, looking to connect and meet new people, and willing to step into a kitchen. Cooking skills not required but a sense of humor, good conversational/bantering skills, hobbies you are passionate about and a willingness to tell funny personal anecdotes and stories are.

Contestants must live in the NY/Tri-State area and be available to shoot July 30 and 31. Auditions week of July 16th in NYC.

I’m already searching my brain for food and love puns and failing, because I have thrown up my hands in defeat the same way some NBC suit just pulled two slips of paper from his Central Perk baseball cap in a desperate attempt to find a new stupid elimination-based reality show in which everyday Americans can look and act like total bozos. And, like all terrible things, I will probably tune in at least five episodes after I have decided it’s the worst thing in the world, because I hate myself, I guess. 

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