Linkage: Don Johnson’s Moderately Sized Johnson, ‘Fifty Shades’ of Krysten Ritter

It’s news to most of us who were born in the early ’80s and don’t remember much about Don Johnson, but apparently he’s always been rumored to have a large penis. “Johnson,” you see. But now that people are talking about him again (he’s another nearly forgotten actor who owes Quentin Tarantino an Edible Arrangement or, perhaps, an Ace of Cakes creation in the shape of a foot), Johnson has taken the time to debunk the rumor. “Look, I’ve seen guys with a lot bigger [penises] than me.” And now we know! [VH1 Celebrity]

A new season of Cougar Town premieres on TBS next Tuesday, and the cast and crew couldn’t be more thrilled that the network, unlike others (*cough*ABC*cough*) are actually promoting it. But they all still think the name is stupid. Says co-creator Bill Lawrence, “Being filled with self-loathing is a characteristic of 90 percent of comedy writers anyway… It’s an amazing title. I’d do it again.” [Hollywood Reporter]

TV’s baddest B might find the tables turned on the big screen. Apt. 23’s Krysten Ritter tweeted that she’d be “down” to play the role of Anastasia Steele in a movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. Winky-face! [EW]

A&E proves that there’s some sort of liberal media bias. The network has picked up The Governor’s Wife, a 12-episode reality series about former Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards and his wife, Trina, who is 50 years his junior. I’m ashamed to report this dude is a Democrat. [Deadline]

Meanwhile, Joe Biden could easily star in his own television program. [Hypervocal]

BREAKING NEWS: 68-year-old Star Wars enthusiast engaged to really hot lady. [People]

As it turns out, the newspaper featured in Back to the Future and its sequel—the Hill Valley Telegraph—was a pretty shitty publication. [Vulture]

If you’re planning to get bombed on your next transatlantic flight, do your best not to fly Icelandair. Duct tape residue is hard to remove. [Gawker]

I didn’t bother to figure out what the hell “Downton braves its own fiscal cliff” is supposed to mean, but knock yourselves out. [WaPo]

“Let’s never forget: we’re the story, not them,” says Albert Brooks’s character in Broadcast News. With that in mind, here’s what the apartment shared by a couple of New York-based reporters looks like. (What’s that? You’re not a member of the New York media? Well, that’s your problem.) [HuffPo]

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