Lindsay Lohan’s New Job: Crying Over Spilt Milk

Never one to be demoralized by diminishing employment opportunities, Lindsay Lohan is recovering from her Ungaro firing quite quickly. Having categorically failed at being a pop star, thespian, fashionista, and lesbian, Lohan turns to what was simply a niche before the recession, but now a growth industry: Nonsensical litigation. LiLo’s suing financial services company E-Trade to the tune of $100 million, claiming the company ripped off her likeness in portraying a milkaholic baby in an ad that originally aired during the Super Bowl.

Apparently Lohan now has single-name recognition — like Oprah or Madonna. $100 million is the cost of the debilitating pain and humiliation caused to her as a result of this alleged parody. Undisclosed is the cost of damage done to her by years of drug and alcohol abuse. See the clip below and judge ye yourself.

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