Any minute now, a bottle of champagne courtesy the staff at GQ should be arriving at the headquarters of the Parents Television Council. That’s because the uptight media watchdog has blessed the men’s magazine with the kind of publicity that only an uptight media watchdog can buy, or, as they so often do, give away for free. For the last 24 hours, the “scandalous” Terry Richardson-shot cover story – featuring Glee stars Lea Michele and Dianna Agron dressed up like naughty school girls – is all anyone can talk about. When the PTC dropped the word “pedophilia” into the mix, it forced a response from GQ Editor-In-Chief Jim Nelson, and today, an apology from Ms. Argon via her Tumblr. But since most people understand that the photo shoot is not a big deal, what the PTC is really doing is shining a great big spotlight on the parties involved. And what actor, photographer, TV show, or magazine doesn’t want that?
This isn’t the first time the PTC (whose depressing history you can read all about here) has drummed up empty controversy over something nobody cared about until they got involved. Remember that ad for a Carl’s Jr. burger where Paris Hilton foams up a car in a bathing suit and eats a hamburger on all fours? Of course you do. Because the PTC called it “soft-core porn” and got everyone riled up. Carl Jr.’s official response to the PTC? Get a life.
Anyway, since we know they haven’t taken Carl Jr.’s advice, we’ve done the PTC’s homework for them. Here are several options for their next hopeless crusade:
I Love You Phillip Morris trailers: Look out! That Jim Carrey gay prison movie that you never thought was coming out, is! And as far as your kids are concerned, Jim is still The Mask, The Grinch, and Count Olaf. If they happen to catch the trailer during a commercial break during iCarly, well then you’ve got some explaining to do, Nickelodeon.
Whitney Cummings’ upcoming NBC sitcom: If you know who Whitney Cummings is, you’re either a comedy fanboy or you remember the time she got in trouble for making an AIDS joke at David Hasselhoff’s Comedy Central roast. Point is, the only thing filthier than her mouth is her mind, and NBC, one of the PTC’s preferred targets, is giving her a show. Ditto with this guy.
Glee: Despite what the PTC thinks, Glee is not a show for children. It’s a show about high school students. On primetime. On Fox. From the mind that created Nip/Tuck. That means girl-on-girl action, premature ejaculation, and simulated sex. But they already knew this a year ago when they called it an “an edgy, sexually-charged adult series that is inappropriate for teenagers.” Guys, get a life.