Fox News Suddenly Full of Comedy and Hot Chicks Experts

Tired of wondering if women can be funny? Well, here’s a question for you: can funny women be hot? According to Fox News, they can–and they should be.

While funny dudes have historically ruled the comedy scene, they’ve also populated it with fat and disgusting guys, which are total boner-killers. Luckily, there’s a new group of women who are entering the ring and showing off their hilarious and funny bodies! Because in the world of jokes, abs are just as important as punch-lines. So who are these new comediennes that Fox News purports to be the next wave of comedy?

Anna Faris, Mila Kunis and Olivia Munn all combine funny bones with bangin’ bodies. Joining the lineup is Carrie Keagan, host of VH1’s ultra-edgy morning entertainment show “Big Morning Buzz,” which returns for a second season live from Times Square on Monday.

Hmmm, really? So, two actresses and two women who have hosted TV shows? Why, the tides certainly are turning, huh?

“For women, frump isn’t funny any longer. The new female comedian has to be the sexual aggressor, sexually provocative, dominant and successful,” says entertainment expert Patrick Wanis. “Hollywood is now portraying women as the dominant force – the boss, the rescuer, the heroine, the hunter. Now women are being sexually provocative and sexually aggressive, rude and funny without the femininity or the class. Lucille Ball would never have played the aggressive, domineering nymphomaniac that Jennifer Aniston portrayed in ‘Horrible Bosses.’”

Man, remember how TOTALLY FRUMPY Jennifer Aniston used to be on Friends, along with those total dogs Lisa Kudrow and Courtney Cox? And hey, after decades of so many unsexy, gross comic actresses like Mary Tyler Moore, Loni Anderson, Shelly Long, Cybill Shepherd, Marilu Henner, Christina Applegate, Tina Fey, and Amy Poehler (please, let that be all of the names I list, because I’m ready to VOMIT just thinking of those awful, unattractive women!) who were never aggressive or sexually provocative, we should all be so thankful that we can finally get some pretty ladies on TV. Phew, all of our problems with women in comedy are SOLVED. Thanks, entertainment expert Patrick Wanis, for putting your career as Hulk Hogan’s life coach on hold long enough to show that we’ve finally rectified all of the wrongs that Lucille Ball committed when she didn’t make jokes about her vagina and dared to wear full-length dresses.

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