Charlie Sheen Issues Bizarre Response to New Drug Rumors

Is Charlie Sheen back on cocaine? Did his ex-wife Brooke Mueller also relapse recently while visiting Charlie, triggering her umpteenth visit to rehab, as reported this week by TMZ? Well, we’re still not quite sure (but probably yes, because duh).

You see, Sheen did release a statement to TMZ today addressing reports that both he and Mueller had recently started using cocaine again. The problem, though, is that it doesn’t make much sense.

Here’s Sheen’s statement:

I can’t speak to anyone’s opinion or judgement.
I was there
they were not.
their tepid
hearsay is a baseless
static drone.
a mantra.
their theme.
I refuse to be held hostage by their ‘constitutional’
privelidge,
to judge those
who can and who do.

nabobs.
CS

Yeah, I’m not quite sure what he’s saying, either. Luckily for us, though, TMZ offers this translation:

Charlie is neither confirming nor denying if he or Brooke is using drugs. He is blasting reports as hearsay … saying the people writing them are passing judgment on people they know nothing about — people who are winning. 

Too bad that still doesn’t tell us anything about a possible relapse (but again, probably, because duh–it’s Charlie Sheen).

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