In all the hubbub about Mitt Romney picking
Rand Paul Ayn Rand Ron Paul Ryan Phillippe Paul Ryan as his running mate, you surely forgot about the lower half of Obama’s ticket, i.e. Joe Biden, whom you may know by his secret service codename, “Celtic,” or as “the one who gets to have Super Soaker fights.”
Biden is inarguably the greatest American hero to ever hold the thankless post of vice president, but there’s something about his extemporaneous speaking that is fundamentally, marvelously unstable. He appeals to the train-ridin’, hard-drinkin’, blue-collar, white lapsed Catholic in us all, and is so charmingly avuncular on and off the stump that we are lulled into quiet compassion or whipped into a populist fervor at the crinkling of his friendly eyes.
But like a picturesque nuclear power plant, Uncle Joe will at some point scare the crap out of those who rely on him via near-catastrophic malfunction. This past week has produced two such missteps. In the first, he suggested Romney’s policies would put “y’all back in chains.”
In the second, he offers an ill-advised approximation of American Sign Language.
Fox News and Republican ops are already trying to make hay of these goofs. Don’t expect it to work: the sign language translator laughed, and the chains thing is fine because he has a black friend.