Snowed In? All the ‘Star Trek’ Series Are There For You

So, despite the fact that it’s supposed to be spring now or whatever, a good portion of the country got a lot of snow dumped on it over the weekend. For those who may be snowed in or just don’t feel like leaving where they already are today, or if you missed the good news over the weekend, Hulu has made every episode of every Star Trek series everDeep Space Nine, Voyager, Enterprise, the whole shebang—available for free streaming until the end of March in honor of William Shatner’s birthday. The announcement comes complete, as most announcements in this day and age often do, with an animated GIF of the young Captain Kirk being overwhelmed by fuzzy little Tribbles. Ah, nostalgia. 

If March Madness isn’t your thing, you have about a week to rewatch all the series and reignite those old Kirk vs. Jean-Luc Picard debates, and really, aren’t all these sorts of debates ultimately the same anyway? Check out all the Trektacular goodness over at Hulu, or watch the classic Harlan Ellison-penned episode "The City on the Edge of Forever," from the original show’s first season, below. 

William Shatner Returns to Broadway

Following in the footsteps of fellow heavyweight Hugh Jackman, Captain Kirk will be coming to Broadway in a one-man show. Shatner’s World: We Just Live in It will see a brief run at the Music Box theater, and it’s billed as a biographical show that will take audiences on a tour of William Shatner’s life and work "from Shakespearean stage actor to internationally known icon and raconteur, known as much for his unique persona as for his expansive body of work on television and film."

Playbill broke the news this morning, announcing that the short run on Broadway from February 14 to March 4 will kick-off a 15-week national tour. Good news for the Trekkies out in Middle America who share an affinity for a showtune or two. The magazine also points out that this is not Shatner’s first time to walk across the boards of the Great White Way, having been in three plays. In the announcement, Shatner reveals his desire to get back on the stage: "I’ve been pretty busy since I last played the Music Box. I’ve been refurbished; I hope the theatre has been too. My plan has always been to return to Broadway every 50 years. I can’t ask my fans to wait for me longer than Halley’s Comet, so I’m coming back."

Who knows what we can expect! jokes? A tap-dancing chorus line wearing Vulcan ears? A musical montage featuring T.J. Hooker? There’s a pretty good chance that Times theater critic Ben Brantley won’t be turned on. Let’s hope he at least performs his stirring rendition of Pulp’s "Common People" at the very least: 

William Shatner Heads for Broadway

At age 80, William Shatner won’t stop. The former Star Trek/Priceline star will make his Broadway debut next February in a show entitled Shatner’s World: We Just Live In It, which sounds remarkably like a 90’s game show. As the Post reports, it’ll be based on "years of Q&As he’s done to hawk his books," titles like Star Trek Memories, Up Till Now: The Autobiography, and Shatner Rules: Your Guide To Understanding the Shatnerverse and the World at Large. Well, then.

If all goes well, the short stay on Broadway will lead into a national tour, sure to be a perfect outing for the entire family. There’s little better than two hours of anecdotes about boozing and whoring in the swinging 60’s, with liberal "Rocket Man" interjections sprinkled throughout. That’s what I imagine the show will be like, anyways — Shatner’s played up his kitsch counterpart to great profit since coming back into the public eye, so why break kayfabe? If only everyone wanted to pay $100 to hear us talk.

Below, watch Shatner sing Cee Lo Green’s "Fuck You," because that’s the way things are.

William Shatner Likes the Word ‘Shit’

In a twist that no one could have predicted, William Shatner thinks that swearing is no big deal. The Shats is currently set to star in CBS’s adaptation of the twitter feed Shit My Dad Says, but the show has been plagued by network hand-wringing about what exactly its title should be. Stuff My Dad Says? $#*! My Dad Says? Bleep My Dad Says? Americans have values, after all! After much spirited debate, the network has settled on a title, and Shatner is none too pleased.

The show will be called Bleep My Dad Says, and Shatner’s already commented on the new title. “You know what I wish? I wish they’d call it ‘Shit,'” he said. “The word shit is all around us. It isn’t a terrible term. Why are we pussy-footing?” Indeed, why are we pussy-footing? We are all surrounded by the word shit all the time, everywhere we go! Wake up CBS executives, the word shit is probably already in your meeting about the word shit!

William Shatner Demonstrates How to Be a Rich Older Duder

William Shatner seems to be setting the gold standard for latter-career celebrity cash-outs. As the spokesman for Priceline, he’s involved in relatively witty advertisements for the money-saving travel website, but it’s the amount of cash he’s raked in for those ads that’s shocking: an estimated $600 million.

When the former Captain Kirk signed on with Priceline in 1997, he agreed to take stock shares as part of his payment. Since then, the shares have seen their ups and downs, but they’re now valued at around $300 each, way up from $1.80 in 2000. Priceline won’t say just how much Shatner has raked in, but Wall Street reports estimate his fortune to be around $600 million.

In other Shatner news, the Bio Channel has announced a new show he’ll do for the channel, in addition to his current show, Shatner’s Raw Nerve. His new show, Shatner’s Aftermath, will look at people who went from obscurity to notoriety overnight, from the Unabomber to Iraq war Private First Class Jessica Lynch.

Sarah Palin Upstages William Shatner, Makes Us Like Her

Last night, William Shatner sat down to read selections from Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue. This marked the second time that The Tonight Show made use of Shatner’s brilliant narrative techniques. Previously he appeared on the show to recite her Tweets. But as with anything involving Palin–who is quickly becoming our generation’s Gloria Vanderbilt (a Palin-esque line of mom jeans to follow?)– and a captive viewing audience, surprises were in store!

And after his eloquent recitation, Shatner and the rest of Conan O’Brien’s viewing audience were greeted by Palin, who wanted to give Shatner a taste of his own medicine. ‘Cuz that’s how they do it in Wasilla, bitches. Revenge is a dish best served cold and Wasilla is quite cold. The hardest part of sitting through the clean wasn’t wincing through her clunky interpretation of the word “deadpan.” But that fact that, well, Palin kind of came of…likeable. I mean, this woman still belongs sealed away in some facility in Anchorage, to see if she and many like her can be used to to help spur penguin populations.

Make no mistake that anyone’s pulling for some horrible Tyra Banks-inspired chatshow entitled Pallin’ ‘Round With Sarah. Though it’s eerie how once you take a sociopath away from the fast-track to world conquest, you can almost find her endearing.

William Shatner Channels Sarah Palin

Hold my hand and take a walk back through time with me, won’t you? Oh, I’m not asking you to go back to a prehistoric era when Gloria Vanderbilt jeans were all the rage and it was fashionable to still like the Dixie Chicks because of their hippie-dippie Bush-bashing politics. No, we’re going back to the immediate past, when Sarah Palin was riding the crest of her fame arc; when we were musing on her prospects as a poetess as evinced by her folksy array of “you betchas” and “gollys”. Yes! Those were splendid times. And then months later, Palin resigned. We all felt the earth shake the devil’s hand. Because we are all certain a 2012 presidential bid is par for the course. And with an army of birthers at Palin’s beck and call, like Death Eaters obsequiously trailing behind Lord Voldemort, this will not end prettily.

But you know what, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Because it’s all come full circle, and Palin’s talents as a finely hewn wordsmith are not going unnoticed. William Shatner, by way of last night’s Conan O’Brien appearance, offered us the chance to bask in the governor’s resignation by employing his talents as a spoken word artist and reciting her Emily Dickinsonian farewell speech. Bongos are also involved. Here’s the sample he read:

… [S]oaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future.

And here’s the clip:

Celebrity Undesirables Bound for Space

Amid the lack of self-awareness plaguing the American celebrity elite, it’s refreshing to see Paris Hilton, Moby, and William Shatner properly motivated to reserve seats on Virgin Galactic’s first orbital leisure cruise, thereby saving us the labor of forcibly launching them into space. The trio are just part of a passenger manifest that includes over 150 others who have forked over about $200,000 apiece for said reservations — although as with all quality carriers, paying more gets you a better/quicker seat. With a scheduled departure slated for sometime in 2010, all celebrities have enough time to attempt a comeback before vanishing into obscurity, and quite possibly, the final frontier.

Lovers’ Quarrel: Kirk vs. Sulu

imageWe get it, William Shatner. You’re worried that after Boston Legal ends, you’ll have a tough time scaring up work with those bloodshot eyes. But there’s no need to stoke the embers of a dying feud to drum up publicity, is there? Or maybe you are indeed sincerely hurt that George Takei invited the entire crew of the Enterprise apart from you to his wedding. On the flip-side, Takei insists he’s been nothing but a gentleman to you. And in order to make good, all you’ve got to do is vote “No” on Proposition 8, and your squabbles will be no more newsworthy than Uhuru on a bad hair day.