Let’s Go Weed Shopping: Lube, Caramels, Vapes and More

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Photo: Laurie Avocado on Flickr

Do you enjoy relaxing your mind? Your muscles? Your vagina?

Guess what? Marijuana can help you do all of these things. Perhaps more importantly, do you live in, know someone in, or know someone who knows someone in Colorado (or California)?

It is time to give them a call.

1. Here at BlackBook, we’ve had our eyes/V’s on Foria for six months. This cannabis-infused lube is made with coconut oil, and thus is edible. 😉

Better yet, women have reported feeling a sort of localized high. Think: heightened sensation, warmth, tingling, a sense of swelling or engorgement after using the weed-infused lube, or a hyper awareness of vaginal tightness, which lead to a greater sexual pleasure. Get it, girl. 

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2. May we recommend a post-coital massage along the same lines? Dixie Elixirs makes a number of topicals–body lotion, balm, and even a bath soak.

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3. Moving away from sex to one of life’s other greats: food. Indulge in a cookie, (or a pie) from Denver’s Sweet Grass Kitchen.

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3. Stressed at the office? Why not get a little high. No harm, no foul, if your boss is cool. And, if you need to be discreet, you can be thanks to the subtle little dropper (it could be echinacea!) Alta Botanicals Anxiety Relief Tincture.

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4. If you’ve had the munchies for days and have not changed your clothes but still want to keep the high going, why not indulge in a steamy, relaxing shower with some hash body wash.

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5. When you come back around to actually smoking the stuff, who knows where you might be! Strolling in the park? At a black-tie gala? This vape could fit in the teensiest of Chanel clutches. You never know.

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6. Another choice pick is the Da Vinci Vaporizer. To be honest, I’m no expert, but here’s a text I got about this vape, verbatim, from a friend who knows: “You can’t smoke out fat with a lot of smaller vapes, but the Da Vinci will get you high as a motherfucker.”

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7. To keep in your bag, at your desk, to save you when you’re suddenly starving. Weed infused apple pie caramels can never be a bad idea.

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8. Lastly, pens are all the rage. So maybe one of those too.

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When all your shopping is done, please enjoy this video of 2Chainz arguing with Nancy Grace about marijuana on the news.

Get V Blazed in Your V

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All images via Foria

Tired of bowls? Do blunts give you a yucky cough? Do bongs make you embarrassed because they’re so phallic? Are you worried your edibles have too many calories? Well, gaaals, there’s a new way to ingest your marijuana in a more ladylike fashion! New from Foria is the first ever medical marijuana vaginal lubricant, a blend of coconut oil (Yeah! I know! That stuff is great for your hair!) and cannabis oil.

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Ok, sorry, no this isn’t some misogynist weird product like the Bic pen for her— this actually sounds like one of the chillest things that’s been invented in years. While you need a medical marijuana license to buy Foria, the lubricant won’t get you that high; the product works as a sort of female Viagra. According to Nerve, after using the product women experienced, “heightened sensation, warmth, tingling, or a sense of swelling or engorgement after using the weed-infused lube. Other women were turned on and hyper aware of the tightness of their genitals, which lead to a greater sexual pleasure.”  Essentially, you know how when you smoke a spliff and you start rubbing your friend’s buzz cut and it feels aaaaamazing? It’s like that, but it’s in your vagina and in your whole body.

Boys! Are you jealous yet? Well Foria hasn’t forgotten about you! You can get high via vagina too! The company’s founder, Matthew Gerson, made sure to note that coconut oil (the lubricant’s base) is 100% edible, and if ingested, Foria will get you very stoned. Are you catching my drift?

This Just In: Legal Pot Rakes In The $$$

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Well fuck me sideways; no one saw this one coming: legal pot has made a shitload (that’s a measuring system that equals a large number) of bucks. Fun fact: Washington state’s Economic and Revenue Forecast Council predicts recreational pot will bring in a whopping $190 million. Hell, that’s almost as much money as Facebook spent buying Instagram! Meanwhile, Gov. John Hickenlooper of Colorado stated that sales and excise taxes are expected to bring in $610 million in the next fiscal year, (Which well exceeds the predicted $70 million.)

We, as Americans, live in a capitalistic society, and in a rollercoaster economy other states will most likely follow. In the worlds of legalization activist Matt Tvert: “Voters and state lawmakers around the country are watching how this system unfolds in Colorado, and the prospect of generating significant revenue while eliminating the underground marijuana market is increasingly appealing.”

But it’s not all fun, tokes, and games! Colorado proposes to spend roughly $99 million next fiscal year on substance abuse prevention, public health, and youth marijuana prevention, generating the money for these programs via the statewide 12.9 sales tax on recreational weed.

“We view our top priority as creating an environment where negative impacts on children from marijuana legalization are avoided completely,” said Hickenlooper.

Still, not everyone is playing ball with legal pot crew. On Wednesday, The Denver Post reported Wednesday that Colorado’s two largest banks, Wells Fargo Bank and FirstBank, won’t offer new loans to landowners with leases with pot businesses. Wells Fargo and Vectra Bank have told commercial loan clients they either have to evict marijuana businesses or seek refinancing elsewhere.

Quote from a Wells Fargo Spokesperson: “Our policy of not banking marijuana-related businesses and not lending on commercial properties leased by marijuana-related businesses is based on applicable federal laws.”

Bottom line: Banks love the green but don’t want to do business with those who deal in the green.

Colorado Restaurant Offers Weed and Sushi Pairing Menu

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An inanely easy math equation:

(people) + (weed) = people high on weed hungry for food

It’s an age-old quandary, and entire plot to the Kal Penn/John Cho vehicle,  Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle: stoned people enjoy eating food. Am I blowing your mind?

Almost as much as I’m thrilled that Colorado has legalized marijuana, I’m also enjoying the major news networks’ coverage of the precedent event. The mainstream news outlets are simply having a field day by sending their most straight-laced reporters into marijuana facilities so they can ask guys with dreadlocks the difference between Kush and the Bammy.

Since we live in a capitalistic society, one credo rings true: where there’s supply, there’s demand; a greater number of marijuana users in Colorado means an increase in munchies. Keeping that in mind, a Colorado sushi restaurant chain is gearing its menu towards weed-orientated clientele. (Ready for a joke?) Looks like this place deals in high-class dining! (Insert laughter here.)

Hapa Sushi began its pro-weed menu back in 2009, catering to the medical marijuana crowd. The pro-weed Boulder/Denver chain features “menu pairings” to go along with what you’ve been inhaling.  (The also have a gluten-free menu for those who don’t like gluten – but that’s off topic.)

So what’s on the menu?

Here are some of the suggested dinner-and-dope combinations:

  • Pakalolo Shrimp with Pakistani Kush
  • Honey Miso Salmon with Sour OG
  • Katsu Curry with Blue Dream

I highly recommend trying the Pot Stickers – they have nothing to do with weed, they just taste really delicious. Hapa Sushi’s ad points out that the restaurant has been “ergonomically designed to reduce paranoia.” (Yes, but can you tell those unagi rolls to quit staring at me!?)

I’m just waiting for the day where they open the very first cocaine-friendly Chinese restaurant where an hour after eating you’re simply hungry for more cocaine.

Colorado Legalizes Marijuana, Munchies To Follow

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Last night, in addition to throwing their electoral votes to Obama, Colorado voters passed Amendment 64, legalizing the use of marijuana for recreational purposes (as did voters in Washington)—which puts state law in contention with federal. But Governer John Hickenlooper had been opposed to the referendums in question and cautioned his constituency not to “break out the Cheetos and Goldfish too quickly.”

You know something? I think Hickenlooper is right. We shouldn’t bust out the junk food too fast. First we should actually smoke some of that sweet, sweet, semi-legal reefer. Ahh. Can’t get the munchies without getting high, right? Afterward, let’s head out and see a big outdoor concert with lots of lasers. The weather will be crisp and fresh; the stars will look immaculate above. We can follow this up with a nice dinner out, maybe to that romantic little Szechuan place we’ve been enjoying recently. Then we can go home and have some mind-blowing, super-stoned sex, because let’s face it: the stuff makes you horny.

Then, when we’re lying sprawled and sweaty on the bed, and someone has turned the TV on out of sheer exhaustion, and a few more quiet moments have passed, that’s when I’d like you to turn to me and say “Are you still hungry? We’ve got some Goldfish or Cheetos in the pantry, I think.” Sounds great! I’ll try not to get any crumbs in the sheets, but no promises. And God Bless Potmerica, baby.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Play The Wavves Weed Demon Video Game

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According to stoner legend, few things are more satisfying than getting high and losing yourself in a marathon of that classic Nintendo game Paper Boy. Something about the way obstacles come at you is supposed to be soothing, and that old-school controller keeps both hands busy, practically doubling the life span of a bag of Cheez-Its. But that was then and this is now.

Thanks to Nathan Williams, High Times poster boy and the driving force behind the punkily pleasurable sounds of Wavves, there’s a new game in town and it’s called Wavves Weed Demon.

According to a release, Weed Demon is “a demented game that resembles something like Paper Boy only if the paper boy drank too much of the acid punch. Deliver drugs and avoid the Mishka-designed monsters as either Nathan or Stephen just don’t smoke all the stash, man.”

Sound like your kind of entertainment? Check out the game here and use one of our favorite Wavves songs, below, as your soundtrack.