“Never Sleep Alone” Hooks People Up: We’ve Got the Transcripts to Prove It

When a show is created that is designed to hook you up, you better believe it delivers. Need some evidence? At Never Sleep Alone, patrons are given an email address and phone number to call and report their post-show and after-party hook-ups. Here, we’ve provided the scandalous, real-life transcripts of all the triumphs.

Just to re-cap: Never Sleep Alone is The New York Times-acclaimed show led by sexual psychologist and music therapist Dr. Alex Schiller. The Dr. dispenses advice from her book Get Laid or Die Trying, performs some sex-infused pop songs, and encourages mingling (and occasionally on-stage makeouts) between all the rows and legions of single people in attendance. If you’re feeling timid, you can just sign up for the more expensive “voyeur” seat in the back and watch the action unfold. Performances are at Joe’s Pub every Friday this month at 11:30pm. This Friday, March 16th is the next one – and only three shows are left, so get your tickets now – they sell out quickly. Each ticket includes free access to NSA’s after-party, which is at a different location every time, and is always-secret and sexy. This Friday’s will be at a very exclusive downtown hotel… come to the show to find out where.
 
Now, onto the testimonies: 

Hi, my name is ___.  I was just calling to report what happened after the Valentine’s Day show. I decided to stay at the after-party by myself because my girlfriends were all going to work in the morning and wanted to go back home. And so, getting into the mood of the show, I decided to hang out. I ended up meeting this amazingly smoking-hot Brazilian. He took me to a late-night restaurant/lounge that served food, and after a couple of martinis, we started making out like crazy. I went back to his apartment, and the rest was history. I have to say: it was one of the most memorable nights I’ve had in a long time. God, super amazing. Just thought I would call and let you know your advice clearly works. Thanks, Dr.

WHERE did that guy ___ come from? Is he some hustler you hired, and did you put something on our champagne because, I swear to God, it was the best random hookup OF MY LIFE. Love you so much!

I am reporting TWO hook ups from Friday night: one at the show, where I kissed a girl by the coat check, and another at the after-party where I did more than a kiss 😉 I don’t have to call her, do I, Doctor? Just joking. I do want to and will see her for dinner this week, but if it doesn’t work out… I want the Doctor!

Hey Dr. Alex. The show was phantastic.  We laughed our butts off and ___ wants you to know that she did not sleep alone. She was very good at being mysterious with the guys you showed to her at after-party spot Pravda and he was thrilled with your program, too. Thanks again, I’m telling EVERYONE.

I had a fantastic time on Friday night. I had to call and say thanks.  I made about with the guy you brought on stage. After the after-party, we went to Blue Ribbon for oysters, he bought, and we did not sleep alone. What a time. I really may see him again. Thanks, Dr. Excellent time. Thank you.

Feel silly doing this, but I figure I owe it to you, Dr. I went to the Valentine’s Day show and had a really good time time. I’m 32 and work a professional job and I was just in a relationship for a while – seven years – kind of had a rough break-up.  But my buddy was like, “You gotta check out this NSA thing,” and I went and met this really fun girl that you had actually pulled on the stage, and ended up sleeping not alone ; she actually came back to my place and stayed for the next 48 hours! So, I guess I’m back in the dating scene. This is a lot of fun, and I’ve been telling everyone to check it out.

Hey, this is ___; you were just telling my friend and I to contact you if we hook up, and thanked us “’for being so handsome” (which was very kind of you but we don’t believe a word of it, heh-heh). Anyway, you were a very gracious hostess and even introduced us to two women we’re meeting for brunch on Sunday, so, cheers! 

Hi, Dr. Alex. It’s Jake. Loved meeting you last night and thanks for the good advice. I did what you said and told the girl directly that, “I want to take you to dinner tomorrow night. Would you prefer sushi or Italian?” and she laughed but said yes, so now I have to cancel on my cockblocker friend. 

Do you have a post-NSA hook-up to report? Call 917-830-3672 or email NSAshow@gmail.com.

Never Sleep Alone: A Show Designed to Hook You Up

Do you want to meet hot people? Do you want to have sex? Do you like music? Then get a front-row seat to Never Sleep Alone, the New York Times-acclaimed show designed to hook you up. 

In this appropriately named performance by sexual psychologist and music therapist Dr. Alex Schiller at Joe’s Pub, the Dr. dispenses advice from her book Get Laid or Die Trying, performs some sex-infused pop songs, and encourages mingling (and occasionally on-stage makeouts) between all the rows and legions of single people in attendance. If you’re feeling timid, just sign up for the more expensive “voyeur” seat in the back and watch the action unfold.
 
“Single straight males should sit with single straight females,” says the Dr. “Hot gays with hot gays, older rich men with younger drunk women. Why sit with people you find sexually irrelevant?”
 
Performances begin this Friday, March 2nd at 11:30pm, and continue every Friday in March. Each ticket includes free access to a post-show after party at an always-secret and sexy location.
 
Note: Clean your apartment before the show –  there’s a very good chance you’ll be bringing someone back. 
 
Never Sleep Alone crowd

Supperclub L.A. Debuts Over Busy Halloween Weekend

Los Angeles is still recovering from a crazy Halloween weekend. The highlights: 400,000-plus costumed freaks in West Hollywood for the city’s annual parade; Maxim filming a forthcoming film called Halloween House at the actual house used in the original Halloween (synergy!); two sold-out, hectic nights at the HARD Haunted Mansion music festival; and some starry soirees at Voyeur ( where Glee’s Matt Morrison held a private party) and the Hollywood Forever Cemetery (for Maroon 5’s Bacardi-sponsored annual throwdown). We musn’t forget our own bash at The Standard in West Hollywood (more on that later) or the opening party for L.A.’s newest supper club, called, er, Supperclub. After the jump, a short, spooky recap.

With established locales in Amsterdam, San Francisco, London, Singapore, and Istanbul, the Supperclub brand is familiar to world travelers on the hunt for a lucullan night out. The 13,500 square-foot space is awash in whites and boasts a clean, space-age look. More so than its international cousins, the Hollywood location inside the historic (and haunted) Vogue Theater takes its “club” half very seriously. No doubt the crowds were impressed by their surroundings, with aerialists dazzling the dance floor with a few moves of their own. Supperclub will hold a grand opening December 2, but will have its slow reveal all month, hosting several special events.

Downtown, a slightly younger demographic danced to a different beat at the HARD Haunted Mansion. Sunday night was the highlight of the two-day fest, with acts such as Underworld and Calvin Harris so good, it was scary. Festival favorite Boys Noize took over the after party at an inconspicuous warehouse, because apparently nobody works on Monday.

image Photo courtesy of Adam Hawes/TransWorld MEDIA

This being L.A., aspiring actresses and models lived up to their titles at the storied “Halloween House” in the shadow of the Hollywood Hills. On Sunday, the invite-only crowd flirted with fame as Patriot Pictures filmed a party scene for a forthcoming film dubbed Halloween House. It’s the first co-production for Alpha Media Group and Maxim magazine. The reality-show-within-a-horror movie set was packed with curvy creatures, who partied for real (surely the cameras had a little to do with it) in, as mentioned above, the very house where Michael Myers chopped up three young things, way back in 1978.

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Sex and Scandal: Voyeur’s Recipe for Success

It’s safe to say most clubs in Los Angeles wish they could have an opening year like that of Voyeur. Since its 2009 debut a year ago today, the West Hollywood club instantly became one of the best-known nightclubs in the country, when it appeared on cable news programs last March, from CNN to MSNBC, thanks to a scandal involving RNC staffers using donor money to enjoy a wild night out at the WeHo hotspot.

“It introduced the brand to people who wouldn’t know us otherwise,” said Matt Bendik, one of the partners at the club, speaking last night at a Tissot-sponsored event. “It gave us a lot of notoriety.” That’s putting it mildly. Everyone from Wolf Blitzer to Keith Olbermann got details wrong of what actually goes on inside the club, but it didn’t matter: Voyeur’s fate as a racy destination for Angelenos and anyone within 500 miles of the bar was sealed, and the busy club got even busier.

Most nightspots would kill for the publicity Voyeur received earlier this year, but owners were caught by surprise by the enormity of the viral political freak-out and say they did nothing to fan the flames. “We never leaked anything, it was an organic thing,” said Bendik.

And while Bendik and other partners have been instrumental in keeping the numbers up at the Santa Monica Boulevard bar (everyone from NBC to Russian billionaires have thrown private events at the space), the club’s unsung hero is artistic director Mia Presley, who is responsible for all the semi-nude dancers and the main sex-soaked concept that drives the bar. “We wanted to shock and awe people until they wanted to leave or join in,” the former Penthouse Pet said Wednesday night. “I think we’ve accomplished that in a year.”

Presley describes the just shy of X-rated vamping inside the club by her dancers as “artistic vignettes that come to life throughout the night” with “a slight fetish feel but high art concepts are behind them.”True enough—the multiple women who appear throughout the club infuse Voyeur with an unmistakably sexualized energy, yet it’s done with class.

“Every single girl I’ve hired is still working for me,” she said of the 32 dancers now working at the club, all brunettes and redheads who scowl and sometimes hang from the ceiling via netting. “It’s hard for me to find blondes that get it,” the director said of the concept behind Voyeur. Girls are not allowed to flirt with customers, smile or take tips.

After a year, it seems, that mission has been accomplished, despite a few hiccups along the way (earlier this month Voyeur found itself in the news again after someone twittered a picture of an underage Miley Cyrus at the venue). “Voyeur has a concept and it stays true to the concept,” said Bendik.

“That’s what differentiates us from every other run of the mill club in L.A. At Voyeur the name means something, the concept means something and every last detail is towards that vision.”

BlackBook Staff Picks: Dining, Drinking, Shopping, & Staying

Here at BlackBook, we pay a lot of attention to where cool customers go out — bars, clubs, restaurants, shops, hotels, you name it. So why not flip the frame and let you see where we go out? Here’s a periodically updated, exhaustive list of hotspots currently favored by everyone at BlackBook, from the mighty bosses down to the humble interns, from the charming local lounges around the corner to the jet-setting temples of luxe living.

BLACKBOOK MEDIA CORP ● Chairman – Bob Hoff, Voyeur (LA) ● CEO – Ari Horowitz, W South Beach (Miami) ● Associate Publisher – Brett Wagner, Da Umberto (NYC) ● Director of Finance and Operations – Tim Umstead, Aquagrill (NYC) ● Corporate Counsel – Drew Patrick, El Ay Si (NYC) ● Executive Assistant – Bridgette Bek, Manhattan Inn (NYC)

EDITORIAL ● Creative Director – Jason Daniels, Morimoto (NYC) ● Vice President Content – Chris Mohney, This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef (NYC) ● Senior Editor – Nick Haramis, Freemans (NYC) ● Features Editor – Willa Paskin, The Sackett (NYC) ● Writer-at-Large – Alison Powell, Jean Philippe Patisserie (Las Vegas) ● Nightlife Correspondent – Steve Lewis, subMercer (NYC) ● Assistant Editors – Ben Barna, LeVack Block (Toronto), Cayte Grieve, Vince (NYC), Foster Ethan Kamer, Sel De Mer (NYC), Eiseley Tauginas, Maialino (NYC) ● Copy Editor – Michèle Filon, Michael’s Genuine Food & Drink (Miami) ● Editorial Interns – Megan LaBruna, Crash Mansion (NYC), Averie Timm, Madiba (NYC), Hillary Weston, Les Halles (NYC), Annie Werner, DBGB (NYC), Ashley Simpson, Barcade (NYC), Michael Jordan, Destination Bar & Grill (NYC)

ART ● Art Director – Amy Steinhauser, Union Pool (NYC) ● Assistant Designer – Serra Semi, Five Points (NYC) ● Photography Assistant – Stephanie Swanicke, Provocateur (NYC) ● Freelance Designer – Krista Quick, Fornino (NYC)

FASHION & BEAUTY ● Fashion Editor – Christopher Campbell, Grand Sichuan International (NYC) ● Fashion Interns – Jillian K. Aurrichio, Greenhouse (NYC), Anabele Netter, Il Buco (NYC), Nicole Applewhite, Vanilla Bake Shop (NYC), Deanna Clevesy, Tao (NYC)

ADVERTISING ● Senior Account Executive – Dina Matar, Blue Duck Tavern (Washington, DC) ● Executive Director, BlackBook Access – Gregg Berger, Charles (NYC) ● Advertising Director – Michelle Koruda, Supper (NYC) ● Detroit Account Executives – Jeff Hannigan, The Lodge (Chicago), Kristen von Bernthal, Pukk (NYC) ● Midwest Account Executives – Susan Welter, Old Town Social (Chicago), Andrea Forrester, Tuman’s (Chicago) ● Southwest Account Executive – Molly Ballantine, The Tar Pit (LA) ● Northwest Account Executives – Catherine Hurley, Flora (Oakland), Shawn O’Meara, Nopalito (San Francisco)

MARKETING ● Marketing Manager – Julie Fabricant, Eponymy (NYC) ● Partnerships & Promotions Manager – Andrew Berman, Bozu (NYC) ● Interns – Adam Meshekow, Ronnybrook Milk Bar (NYC), Kayla Gambino, Grom (NYC), Marie Baginski, Stir (NYC)

DIGITAL ● Director of Development – Daniel Murphy, Standard (Miami) ● Developer – Bastian Kuberek, Greenhouse (NYC) ● Developer – Dan Simon, Hudson Terrace (NYC) ● Designer – Matt Strmiska, Uchi (Austin) ● Developer – Sam Withrow, Phone Booth (San Francisco) ● Quality Assurance Engineer – Sunde Johnson, Ginger’s Bar (NYC) ● Mobile Developer – Otto Toth, Alloro (NYC)

Where Celebs Go Out: Matt Damon, Snooki and Vinny

1. Matt Damon, after Green Zone press day: Oh, boy! There are so many great restaurants here. I like Bob De Niro’s place, Nobu. That’s a good one. 2. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi @ “Masks and Mayhem” Purim party @ Solo restaurant: Definitely, L.A., Voyeur, that club, I like it. ‘Cause I just like low-key stuff because, since I’ve been in the limelight, when I go to clubs, it’s just crazy. It’s hard to, actually, party and have a good time, because I usually go out with Pauly and Mike in L.A., and it’s just hard to party because everyone’s, like, ‘Oh!’ They go crazy. And we love that, but, yet again, we like to have our low times. So, Voyeur, definitely, a good place to go because there’s a lot of celebrities there, so we can actually relate with people.

3. Vinny Guadagnino : I don’t know. I’m not really a huge club person, so I do a lot of appearances. So lately, if I’m not at appearances, I’m really chillin’ home. But, definitely, nice places in Manhattan — Greenhouse, Mansion, Tenjune. I just eat at my mother’s house. I don’t really eat in restaurants. That’s all I can do. I’m sorry.

4. Skeery Jones: I’m a big fan of Tenjune and the new SL, downstairs from Abe & Arthur’s. That’s a really hot place. The party never dies at Greenhouse and Kiss & Fly. Those are my spots, right now. Restaurants, Locanda Verde. I’m a fan of the new Corsino, but I’m a fan of Del Posto. I like Morimoto; Morimoto’s fun. Stanton Social, always great with friends and a group of people. That party’s never gonna die. At Corsino, they do some wonderful flat breads–they do these, like, crostinis. They have a whole crostini menu. Any restaurant that has a menu just for crostinis has won my heart.

5. Sasha Antonova: Oh, my god! I live in the West Village and there are so many really good restaurants over there. It reminds me a little bit of Europe. If I would mention something, it would be French Roast. They have a special bread made with jam and eggs. I don’t know the exact recipe, but it’s delicious.

6. Eli Kirshtein: I’m not a really a club person. This is so alien to me. I like to chill and eat some decent foods. I’ve been hangin’ out at PDT alot, recently. I like Angel’s Share. I think David Chang’s concepts are fantastic, for just a casual place to hang out.

7. Radioman, a.k.a. Craig Schwarz, a.k.a. Craig Castaldo: Mostly, I wait around hotels or movie sets. I get people that way, get autographs. Sometimes, I might go to a bar, here and there, if someone’s around. What is that one on 18th Street? Avenue. I was there for an after after-party with Leonardo DiCaprio for Shutter Island, which, by the way, I have a small part in, playing a prisoner of war, psycho guy from the ’50s. You don’t recognize me because I have no beard. My hair’s cut short. I was the guy with the garden shears, at the very beginning. And I had the shackles on my feet and the handcuffs, and I’m lookin’ at Leo with a weird look. George Clooney’s flying me out to L.A.—a stopover in Vegas—and then from there, I’m going right to Burbank for the Oscars. I’ll be out there for several days. It’s one of those planes that stops and refuels. I go the cheapest way. And I stay at the Vagabond Inn—believe it or not, that’s the name of the place. And it’s out at Santa Monica and Vine. People should check it out. It’s really cool. They pay for the hotel, too. But I have to bring my own spending money. The hotel is near where the site is, for the Oscar’s, on Hollywood and Vine. And it’s homey. I like it because I can bring a bike inside. I don’t have any problems. And it’s only two floors, like, double level hotel, like a motel.

BlackBook Staff Picks: Dining, Drinking, Shopping, & Staying

Here at BlackBook, we pay a lot of attention to where cool customers go out — bars, clubs, restaurants, shops, hotels, you name it. So why not flip the frame and let you see where we go out? Here’s a periodically updated, exhaustive list of hotspots currently favored by everyone at BlackBook, from the mighty bosses down to the humble interns, from the charming local lounges around the corner to the jet-setting temples of luxe living. ● Creative Director – Jason Daniels, The Odeon (NYC) -American Psychos down salmon and steak frites, but the real scene’s on the sidewalk. ● Vice President, Content – Chris Mohney, Agua Dulce (NYC) – Festive outpost feels like Miami, F-L-A.

EDITORIAL ● Senior Editor – Nick Haramis, Motor City Bar (NYC) – Front like you remember how to drive and these 8 Milers might let you hang. ● Features Editor – Willa Paskin, Mayahuel (NYC) – Tequila temple where patrons pay homage to the goddess of agave. ● Writer-at-Large – Alison Powell, Peppermill (Las Vegas) – Vegas institution pushes diner food in front and romantic cocktails in the back. ● Nightlife Correspondent – Steve Lewis, Serpentine (NYC) – Patrick Duffy’s legendary scene uncoils in west Chelsea. ● Assistant Editors – Ben Barna, Jupiter Room (Montreal) – Drink your face off for cheap and dance ’til it aches. Cayte Grieve, Blackstones (NYC) – Foster Ethan Kamer, Joseph Leonard (NYC) – Elegantly distressed Village charmer serving up three solid meals a day. Eiseley Tauginas, Barrow Street Ale House (NYC) – College sports fans and West Village regulars cram into cozy confines. ● Copy Editor – Michèle Filon, Back Forty (NYC) – Manure-free urban farm sates virtuous, albeit rare, healthy food cravings. ● Editorial Interns – Molly Gunn, PDT (NYC) – Somebody told, but still a nice sophisto surprise behind the grunge of Crif. Megan LaBruna, Mercury Lounge (NYC) – Catch a future indie rock god at this rite of musical passage. Toren Curtis, The Vagabond (Miami) – Great indie scene. Even better music. Ashley Simpson, SPiN New York (NYC) – Marginally-more-athletic alternative to beer pong gets its own private club. Averie Timm, Downtown Cipriani (NYC) – Über-scene congregation of A-list supermodels, art stars, and financiers. Food, too. If you care. Annie Werner, Antone’s (Austin) – This revered blues club’s namesake did more for black-white relations than the Oreo cookie. Hillary Weston, The Four-Faced Liar (NYC) – Greenwich Village-proper pub is something out of Middle Earth, or Docklands. Either way: the real deal.

ART ● Art Director – Amy Steinhauser, Mizu Sushi (NYC) – Popular lunch spot for Flatiron media types needing to bitch. ● Assistant Designer – Serra Semi, Momofuku Ssäm Bar (NYC) – Chef-of-the-minute David Chang fancies up Korean burritos and gets avant-garde after 6pm. ● Photography Assistant – Stephanie Swanicke, Canal Room (NYC) – Jersey hordes in the house, but discreet famous faces still rock all night. ● Freelance Designer – Krista Quick, t.b.d (NYC) – Sleek and chic lounge in the heart of Greenpoint.

FASHION & BEAUTY ● Market Editor – Bryan Levandowski, Shang (NYC) – Toronto-bred Susur Lee takes on nouveau Asian small plates at the Thompson LES. ● Fashion Assistant – Wilson Mathews III, Dylan’s Candy Bar (NYC) – King-sized candy shop hypnotizing children and torturing adult waistlines in the UES.

BLACKBOOK MEDIA CORP ● Chairman – Bob Hoff, Voyeur (LA) – The inspiration is Eyes Wide Shut…so yes, there’s lots of leather. ● CEO – Ari Horowitz, Nikki Beach (St. Barts) – An escape into paradise in the middle of, well, paradise. ● Associate Publisher – Brett Wagner, Barrio Chino (NYC) – Chino Latino tequila bar serving up 50 kinds of that devil stuff. ● Director of Finance and Operations – Joe Friedman, Brooklyn Bowl (NYC) – Rock and bowl will never die. ● Corporate Counsel – Drew Patrick, Tournesol (NYC) – Coq au vin and crème brûlée? Oui! Oui! ● Executive Assistant – Bridgette Bek, Tu Lan (San Francisco) – Word-of-mouth dingy treasure serving good, cheap Vietnamese food in a downright crappy location.

ADVERTISING – advertising@bbook.com ● Senior Account Executive – Dina Matar, Ilili (NYC) – Upscale Lebanese moves miles beyond falafel. ● Account Executive – Brian Kantor, Lillie’s (NYC) – Victorian pub with just enough antiquery to make you feel grand. ● Executive Director, BlackBook Access – Gregg Berger, Indochine (NYC) – French-colonial greets uptown-cum-downtown diners. ● Advertising Director – Michelle Koruda, Shorty’s .32 (NYC) – Josh Eden under-promises and over-delivers at this Soho charmer. ● Detroit Account Executives – Jeff Hannigan, The Lodge (Chicago) -Ye old typical Division Street cheese, but always a shameless good time. Kristen von Bernthal, Hudson Bar at Hudson Hotel (NYC) – Acid-trip décor. Sit on a log and rest your drink on a gnome head. ● Midwest Account Executives – Susan Welter, Hopleaf Bar (Chicago) – Andersonville’s best bar. Belgian beers and food meet in a place that’s too smart to be too cool and vice versa. Andrea Forrester, Coast Sushi (Chicago) – BYOB meets the sea at this high-quality Wicker Park sushi spot. ● Southwest Account Executive – Molly Ballantine, Rustic Canyon (LA) – Leave it to the upper-cresty West-siders to show everyone else up with their moody, fashionable darkwood and cream take on the ubiquitous neighborhood wine bar. ● Northwest Account Executives – Catherine Hurley, Coi (San Francisco) – The apotheosis of both the molecular gastronomy trend and the sustainable food movement: ethereal, futuristic flavors in a serene environment. Shawn O’Meara, Nopalito (San Francisco) – ● Sales Coordinator – Celia Ballou, Pink Pony (NYC) – Pseudo-bohemian bistro that’s better for people watching than, like, eating or whatever.

MARKETING ● Marketing Manager – Julie Fabricant, Bottega Louie (LA) – Proof that Downtown is still gentrifying. ● Partnerships & Promotions Manager – Andrew Berman, K & M (NYC) – Former perogie factor converted to current meat market for the indie-rock set. ● Interns – Cristina Girgis, Barbounia (NYC) – Tony Medi with good bones. Interior is all about the arches. Alexandra Vickers, The Slaughtered Lamb Pub (NYC) – Magical enough to overlook the horror movie gimmick.

DIGITAL ● Director of Development – Daniel Murphy, Max’s On Broadway (Baltimore) – Ahhh, good old Max’s I remember you well…well what I can remember anyway. ● Lead Architect – Matt Hackett, Caracas Arepa Bar (NYC) – Arepas, seventeen ways. Venezuela is for carb lovers. ● Developer – Bastian Kuberek, Greenhouse (NYC) – NYC’s first Green club tries to make bottles and models sustainable. ● Developer – Dan Simon, Hudson Terrace (NYC) – Rooftop pleaser for drunk summer afternoons. ● Designer – Matt Strmiska, Uchi (Austin) – Thoroughly inventive and delectable sushi in vibrant environs, compliments of lauded chef Tyson Cole. ● Developer – Sam Withrow, The Knockout (San Francisco) – The vibe is blessedly lawless,prolifically musical and down right hedonistic. Peep tall cans and a sweaty dance floor. ● Quality Assurance Engineer – Sunde Johnson, Melt (NYC) – Brooklyn brunch spot becoming the standard for neighborhood dining. ●Mobile Developer – Otto Toth, Alloro (NYC) – Cacio e Pepe peeps get creative on the Upper East.

BOARD OF DIRECTORS: Bob Hoff, Voyeur (LA). Ari Horowitz, Nikki Beach (St. Barts). Eric Gertler, Matsuhisa (Aspen) – World-famous Nobu chef brings incredibly tasty, stylish, pricy sushi to Aspen. Joe Landry, SLS Hotel at Beverly Hills (LA) – Phillipe Starck and Sam Nazarian mind meld to create a papparazzi-inducing modern luxury hotel in (well, near) BH. Irwin Lieber, Fishtail by David Burke (NYC) – Fresh seafood in the UES by celeb chef David Burke. Dan Pelson, Marea (NYC) – Hopes for a high tide abound at Michael White’s temple to Italian seafood. Barry Rubenstein, Bryant & Cooper (Hamptons) – While it may be trying a little too hard for a classic old-time-y vibe, the steaks are nonetheless quite good. Jack Sullivan, The Raleigh Hotel (Miami) – The local equivalent of LA’s Chateau Marmont.

Lindsay Lohan Swaps Gerard Butler for Ryan Phillippe

Meh, it’s anyone guess how LiLo, ever the object of public curiosity, keeps finding the eleven letters of her name magnetically drawn to almost-A-listers lately. There was that whole sordid thing with Gerard Butler, although Lohan reportedly put the kibosh on that. So now there are whispers — just breathy susses, at that — of LiLo and former Mr. Reese Witherspoon Ryan Phillippe “getting cozy” at L.A. club Voyeur recently.

Though details are thin. For all we know, the pair could’ve been squabbling about whether pasties were a good idea on Lohan’s Ungaro line. Or perhaps they were acting out selected scenes of Monster’s Ball, with Lohan rasping, “I got these curtains right here on credit and the man told me I wasn’t supposed to get this deal, but I think he kinda liked me … and he told me I could have these curtains on credit. I said, ‘What the hell? Red curtains would be great for my place.’ So I said, ‘I’ll take it.’ So I got me some red curtains.” And Phillippe asserting, “Damn straight.” Yes, innocent commentary about purchasing draperies on credit. That’s all that could’ve transpired. So all this tongue-wagging could be for naught.

That is, if Philippe hadn’t already been a fixation of Lohan’s for a couple years now. A fact that he indifferently acknowledged sometime ago. Add to all that Lohan’s ability to accrue A-list hotties. Obviously someone’s being stingy with details.

Before Phillippe and Butler, but long after Samantha Ronson, there was also Balthazar Getty last month. And of course, rumors of a Lohan-Ledger tryst still remain hot. Even if Lohan and Phillippe were acting out scenes from Monster’s Ball, it probably wasn’t too long before one of them yelled, “I want you to make me feel better. I want you to make me feel good. Can you make me feel good?” with the other obliging happily.

LA Openings: Voyeur, N.Y. & C, L.A. Bento

Voyeur (West Hollywood) – Eyes Wide Shut inspiration: lots of leather, and female employees disrobe. ● N.Y. & C. (Santa Monica) – Pizza taste test without leaving your seat. The ultimate New York-Chicago showdown, in pizza form. ● L.A. Bento (Eagle Rock/Eastside) – The spot for fancy coffee and pastries in the mornings and lunch deliveries are biggest sell.