Victoria Jackson’s Ditz Routine: No Routine At All

Former SNL star Victoria Jackson’s postings on Big Hollywood provide a rich and scary vein of entertainment. She’s got the blithe, open candor of a five-year-old, and is about as intelligent. Likes include guns and Palin. Dislikes: the use of the F-word, especially in the mouth of Rahm Emanuel. By her own admission, she used to find politics “boring” until the election of ’08 inspired her to take up the conservative standard. Now it’s part of her civic duty to pen some of the most consistently hilarious—and not in a good way—articles the right-wing blogosphere has to offer. Most of her posts feature at least a handful of spectacularly sub-moronic utterings, and her latest is certainly no exception. She actually wrote the following statement: “I used to think black people didn’t like me because of the whole slavery thing.” Wow.

Jackson goes on to explain that she recently read a book (Lloyd Marcus’ “Confessions of a Black Conservative”) that disabused of her this idea. Turns out it wasn’t slavery, but rather liberals and their insidious lies! There’s plenty that could be said about this, but what I really can’t get over are Jackson’s foregone conclusions that a) black people don’t like her, and b.) that the reason for that dislike must have some logical explanation other than her being completely obtuse.

Victoria Jackson: Right-Wing Blogger & Joy Behar’s New Nemesis

You remember Victoria Jackson right? She did a six-year stint on Saturday Night Live starting in 1986? She usually played a ditz? Anyway, she’s still playing one, only now she performs on the political stage — or rather the side stage, since she’s not exactly a big draw these days. During the run-up to the 2008 election, Jackson was fairly outspoken about her distaste for Obama, calling him a communist among other things. This was surely what earned her the (somewhat) regular blogging gig she now has over at Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood. If you’re not familiar with the site, it consists mostly of ad hominem arguments against liberals and their influence on the entertainment industry. Jackson’s posts are usually about things like how the Jack Black vehicle Year One made her cry, and not in a good way. But yesterday she took a more serious tack: now she’s making fun of Joy Behar!

In her latest posting, Jackson proposed a skit detailing what a hypothetical visit to Behar’s new show might be like for her:

Joy: So, we’re back with Victoria who does not have a show, and I do! So … why do you hate Obama?!

Victoria: Well, I don’t hate anyone, I’m just concerned about our country becoming …

Joy: He is such a good speaker!

Victoria: … Communist. Van Jones was not an accident. The safe schools czar, Kevin Jennings, has a gay agenda for our innocent children. Socialized medicine does not work…

Joy: (To camera) You see? I can’t even have one conservative on my show until they start yelling, and cursing, and bitching! What is it with you people?! You are so full of HATE! Remind me, never to have these stupid A–holes on my show again! (To producer off stage) Get me Janeane Garofalo! She is a genius! Jesus!

Victoria: How can you take Jesus’ name in vain if you are Catholic?

Joy: What? Oi Vey! I’m not even Jewish! I’m gonna puke! Take me to a commercial! Save me!

Funny stuff! The knives are clearly out. One can only imagine the kind of horrible retribution that Ms. Behar will exact! In the meantime, enjoy this clip from The O’Reilly Factor, in which Jackson brags that she read a book Twice!