● So what if Ashley is spending a lot of time with Justin Timberlake — Mary Kate is totally making out with Kanye West. [Perez] ● Lindsay Lohan’s stalker made things easy, effectively turning himself in when he sauntered into the judge’s office and proclaimed to be Lindsay’s fiance. [TMZ] ● MTV has canceled Skins, their take on “child pornography” that bled advertisers, offending even Taco Bell, home of the Frito-burrito. [EW]
● Tracy Morgan’s Nashville show turned dark real quick, when what was supposed to be a comedy show ended up a homophobic tirade. According to an audience member, he went so far as to suggest that he would stab his son to death if he said he was gay. [Jezebel] ● Russell Crowe took a stance against circumcision yesterday, tweeting that “Babies are perfect” and that “Circumcision is barbaric and stupid.” He was sure to be clear, though, that his problem with circumcision is not one with Judaism. “Many jewish friends, I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies,” he tweeted, for some reason, at Eli Roth. [HuffPost] ● Flo Rida was picked up yesterday for driving his $2 million Bugatti while drunk. [NYP]
Embarrassed TNT representatives apologized to viewers last week, following Tracy Morgan’s primetime declaration that Sarah Palin “is good masturbation material.” Well, network reps, speak for yourselves because the 30 Rock star wants the world to share his lust. During the red carpet festivities at Sunday night’s SAG Awards, Morgan gave Palin another “inappropriate” shout out, just in case she’d missed the previous debacle. “Sarah Palin, you’re the hottest MILF in the world!” Morgan announced, startling E! host, Guliana Rancic. And if Rancic was expecting an explanation for the outburst, it didn’t go much further than, “She’s a MILF!”
This latest Palin moment, brought to you by Tracy Morgan, wasn’t prompted by questions about the former Alaskan governor and her sex appeal. In fact, Morgan transitioned onto Palin just after revealing the identity of a woman who donated a kidney for his transplant surgery back in December. “I’d like to thank Tanisha for donating my kidney to me,” he said. “We were together, but then we separated. But she also gave me a kidney.”
One minute and thirty eight seconds is all it took. Check out the video below.
Tracy Morgan made an appearance on Inside the NBA last night, and during his short visit, the 30 Rock star managed to piss off viewers so much as to elicit a public apology from TNT. The offending moment came after Morgan was encouraged by co-hosts Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith to weigh in on the physical allure of Sarah Palin (in contrast to his co-star Tina Fey). Obviously, Morgan cut straight to the point, blurting out that Palin “is good masturbation material.”
Inevitably, the complaints came pouring in, forcing TNT to issue a statement apologizing for the incident and blaming Morgan for his slip of the tongue. “It’s unfortunate Mr. Morgan showed a lack of judgment on our air with his inappropriate comments. We apologize for any embarrassment or offense it may have caused.”
In summary, TNT felt that the situation was “unfortunate” and that Morgan’s “lack of judgment” was “inappropriate.” But, it might actually be more accurate to say that this “inappropriate” comment and “unfortunate” situation were a direct result of Barkley and Smith’s “lack of judgment.” (Also, just watch the video below – they are loving it.) This is Tracy Morgan we’re talking about, right? When dealing with a man who’s entire career is based on an endless series of “inappropriate” moments, any non-scripted appearance on network TV is a high-risk situation, at best. Throw in a query about sex, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster and perfectly inappropriate comedy.
● Charlie Sheen had a briefcase — a Gucci briefcase — full of cocaine delivered to his home before the 911 call. That’s one way to measure Two and a Half Men‘s success. [TMZ] ● Further news in the unraveling of Charlie: Sheen rented out his neighbor’s mansion in order to house his very own “porn family.” Isn’t that nice? His reps aren’t sure what to say anymore. [TMZ] ● Lady Gaga worked up a frenzy and a trending topic when she tweeted the lyrics to her upcoming single, “Born This Way.” Special shout-outs go to the LBGQT, “The Subway Kid,” those of Lebanese and of Chola decent, and, like we would say in the ’50s, the “Orient made.” [Twitter]
● Diddy is being sued for a cool $1 trillion by a women who’s blaming him for everything from the collapse the World Trade Center to withholding a chip she won at a Mississippi casino. Maybe Diddy could settle by paying for her therapy. [Radar] ● Speaking of, Jon Stewart has been appointed to the board of the foundation responsible for building the Sept. 11 museum and memorial. “I’m like their intern at this point,” he quipped. Like, their intern that get’s them tons of press and money. [NYT] ● TNT issued a swift apology after Tracy Morgan tried to talk politics with Charles Barkley during a live Inside the NBA taping. “Let me tell you something about Sarah Palin, she’s good masturbation material,” he told Barkley. Breaking character? [HR] ● After a several month reprieve, Ms. Amanda Bynes is back on twitter sharing pictures of her outfits and her arts and crafts. That starfish she rhinestoned is pretty nice. [Twitter]
● This is a video of Rihanna riding a mechanical bull in a bar with King of Leon’s “Sex on Fire” playing, while a women yells “You go, girl!” Welcome to heaven. [Celebuzz] ● Today in too good to be true news: a 3-D remake of Jaws starring Tracy Morgan. [Cinema Blend] ● Beer is good for your bones. [NYDN]
● Howard Stern said vile, inappropriate things about Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, but the worst part is wondering why it took him so long. [ONTD] ● Two Virginia college bros were charged with felony snowball throwing and face between one and five years in prison if convicted. [TSG] ● A lock of Farrah Fawcett’s golden angel hair will run you $1,000 and a lifetime of sick shame. [Radar]
The forthcoming Cop Out (a.k.a. A Couple of Dicks) is Kevin Smith’s first studio-backed picture since Mallrats, and if the ubiquitous trailer is any indication, it will likely succeed where Zach and Miri failed in winning the director a wider audience. Does this mean Smith’s gone mainstream? Sold out? Not necessarily. In a move that seems at once clever, desperate, rare and most definitely intended to assure fans of his indie bona fides, Smith’s already announced that one of his next projects will be…wait for it…fan-financed! Make checks payable to Clerks III, LLC.
In a recent roundtable discussion, Smith disclosed that he intended to use his “political horror movie” Red State as a test case for crowd-sourced financing. “We’re kind of creating this website. We’re seeing if it works to set up and collect donations…there’s lots of checks and balances to make sure we can do it, but if that’s the case, I would be into it, and I’ll match it. Whatever you raise on line, like fuck it, you put it up, I’ll put it up.”
Could Smith actually pull this off? Others have tried and failed, but Stephen Saito at IFC thinks the director might actually have a shot owing to his unusually close relationship to his fans. Dude does stand-up tours, a weekly smodcast, and he twitters quite a bit. If there’s anyone who could make this a success, it’s probably Smith. Just don’t go thinking you can do the same.