Morning Links: Paparazzi Confuse Debby Harry for LiLo, Waka Flocka Flame Plays With Puppies

● Paparazzi were shocked to find that the sunglass-wearing platinum blonde they caught outside the Mercer Hotel on Sunday morning was 66-year-old Debbie Harry and not, in fact, the 25-year-old Lindsay Lohan they thought they were shooting. [PageSix]

● Kim Kardashian’s color-coded closet is very pleasing to the eye. [Us]

Downtown Abbey-heads, brace yourself! Beloved Dowager Countess, Dame Maggie Smith, has yet to sign on for the fourth and possibly fifth season. [DailyMail]

● Jessica Simpson has already begun embroidering the "nontraditional" name she’s chosen for her still nascent baby girl on things. “We’re sure,” she says of her choice.  [PageSix]

Jersey Shore‘s The Situation has launched a gossip website, Named Sitch News. The site has so far covered The Situation’s Jersey crew with a light touch — musicals, ab creams, etc. — but who’s to say we can’t expect a good Snooki scoop someday soon? [SitchNews]

● Waka Flocka Flame put his shirt back on and picked up a puppy for his second round of PETA ads. "Pick with someone your own size," he says. Awww! [RapRadar]

● The beautiful 1954 red vintage Chistian Dior gown Natalie Portman wore to the Oscars sold in an online auction for $50,000. [PageSix]

Morning Links: Russell Simmons Petitions For New State Drink, Gwyneth’s Generous Baby Gift

● Practicing vegan Russell Simmons has petitioned New York Governor Andrew Cuomo to switch the state beverage from milk to something healthier and more ethical, like soy milk. [Huff Post]

● Charlie of "Charlie Bit My Finger" fame made some $158,000 off his viral video. What has your cute kid done? [NYT]

● Adam Sandler’s animated vampire flick, Hotel Transylvania, has traded a Miley Cyrus — who says, "I really wanna work on my music this year! That’s all :)” — for a Selena Gomez. See what they did there? [E!]

● Gwyneth Paltrow gifted Jay-Z and Beyoncé with a $979 stroller, in which they can walk baby Blue around the house until she is ready for her grand debut. [Us]

● The Situation "really ripped both Snooki and JWoww a new one" after they suggested in an interview that he might have gay tendencies, like "his posture and the way he holds his cigarettes." [SunTimes]

● Lest you be tempted to let your YA novels touch, Hunger Games producers were deliberate in not casting anyone from Twilight. [Us]

● Kristen Cavallari wants you to see her still just teeny-tiny baby bump. [Us]

The Situation Fights Back Against Abercrombie & Fitch

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, he of the Jersey Shore phenomenon, is suing clothing brand Abercrombie & Fitch for $4 million, claiming they used his catchphrases on their t-shirts. This is following a bizarre publicity stunt by the company earlier this year where they claimed they would pay Sorrentino to not wear Abercrombie clothing on his television show. That was all fun and games at the time, but now The Situation looks set on taking the jock-approved clothing company for a bunch of money. Maybe Snookie was right

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Sorrentino has a valid point, in that Abercrombie did use his catchphrase, "GTL" (Gym, Tan, Laundry). and, somewhat heinously, "The Fitchuation", without his permission. We’re not sure who to root for here, so we’ll go with whoever has the nicer abs. 

Morning Links: A&F Pays The Situation to Change His Shirt, Texas Gets ‘Justin Bieber Way’

● Abercrombie & Fitch is offering to pay Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to not wear their merchandise. “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” said the company of their proposed “Win-Win Situation.” [Speakeasy/WSJ] ● Television shrink Dr. Phil has won the sure-to-be-teary first interview with Casey Anthony’s parents. [Washington Post] ● Taylor Momsen has officially quit acting in order to make more time for her music, which is “pretty much all [she wants] to do” anyways. [Elle]

● Kim Kardashian’s bridesmaids will wear green, a color that’s calming, easy on the eyes. and symbolizes nature and . Also: jealousy. [People] ● Gerard Depardieu, one of France’s most celebrated actors, dropped trousers and urinated in front of an airplane full of passengers when the cabin crew refused to let him use the bathroom before takeoff. “Je veux pisser, je veux pisser,” he had warned. [NYP] ● 11-year-old “mayor for a day” Caroline Gonzalez made sure her first order of business was an important one: Renaming part of Forney, Texas’ Main St. after the important historical figure Justin Bieber. [E!] ● Drew Carey was forced — forced! — to cancel yesterday’s taping of The Price Is Right after he broke his collarbone during a morning run. He’s got the x-rays to prove it. [TMZ]

Morning Links: Congress Flocks to Taylor Swift Show, David Lynch Makes Film About the Debt Ceiling

● Watch as Mila Kunis defends Justin Timberlake against mean journalists with her fluent Russian at a press junket in Moscow. [Gawker] ● Jessica Alba’s secret to loosing baby weight? Misery. She cuts calories, drinks lots of water, and works out all the time. “So basically I’m starving,” she said. “It sucks.” [Us] ● No less than seven lawmakers will be present at Taylor Swift’s DC concert tonight, holding fundraisers in the luxury boxes and shaking off the past month’s stresses while singing along to “Mean.” And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life and… [Politico]

● According to Forbes, Leo DiCaprio is Hollywood’s highest-earning actor, having made $77 million last year to beat out second-place earner Johnny Depp. [Forbes] ● The Jersey Shore‘s The Situation is being sued by DILLIGAF, the company that produces his clothing line, for not doing enough to promote his t-shirts. That’s what you get for being a company whose name stands for “Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck.” [Examiner] ● David Lynch offered his take on the debt ceiling debate via a short film titled “How Things Have Been Going.” [MovieLine]

Morning Links: Kim Kardashian & Snooki Face Their Haters, The Situation & Ronnie Still Fighting

● There’s a new reality show in the works called H8R, wherein celebrities confront their biggest naysayers. Snooki and Kim Kardashian will be on the first episode, set to air in September. It all sounds therapeutic, almost. [Complex] ● Did Maria Shriver leak details about Arnold’s lovechild to TMZ and the LA Times? TMZ (hm) is reporting yes. [TMZ] ● At Lady Gaga’s parties, we listen to Lady Gaga. When it’s not Lady Gaga’s party, we still listen to Lady Gaga. [Page Six]

● Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Ronnie brought all their baggage to Italy for this season of Jersey Shore. The two have reportedly already gotten into a knock-down style brawl over none other than Sammi Sweetheart. You can take the guido from the Shore, but… [NYDN] ● MTV has chosen their next adolescent group to pillage: the Married Young. Having found success with teen parents, this seems like a logical next step. [THR] ● This time, it was just a bikini top that Lindsay Lohan lost. [E!]

The Situation Is Suing His Father

Remember The Situation’s scary dad who made all those threatening YouTube videos about him? Sitch is suing him. I bet family dinners are a real hoot at the Sorrentino house these days.

The Situation is suing to stop his dad, Frank Sorrentino, from using his name and likeness all over his website, and he’s also seeking damages. He claims that his father is trying to damage his business reputation, which, have you seen these videos? They’re certainly damaging to someone’s reputation, and I think that person is Frank Sorrentino. Why does the Situation think he has this awesome reputation to protect? He’s a jokey reality TV star with a crazy father.

This whole thing should be in a government PSA about the dangers of being on reality television. Did anyone see Real Housewives of New Jersey last night? They all almost killed each other at a baby’s christening. There were kids crying and drinks being thrown and people screaming and trying to rip each other’s heads off. This shit tears families apart.

In case you missed it, here’s an example of one of the videos Sitch is suing over:

The Situation’s Father Releases Vauguely Threatening Video

Jersey Shore star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s father, Frank Sorrentino, has released a bizarre and threatening online video to…I’m not sure why? Take down his son? To chide him for not doling out his riches readily enough? Whatever the reason, it’s messed up. Here’s the first video, in which Sorrentino tells us he’s going to remind his son where he came from, and where he says The Situation “created more situations for me in my life than the name he gave himself. You’re full of shit, I know you. I put my balls on the line for you 100 fucking times when you couldn’t.”

Then there’s a charming second video, wherein Frank describes an incident when The Situation received a blowjob from a 40-year-old co-worker.

Poking around on Frank Sorrentino’s YouTube channel is an experience. He has rants about Snooki, Ronnie (“fuckin’ crybaby”), the whole Jersey Shore cast in general, the show’s troubles in Italy, etc. Dude even has a website, theconfrontationsite.com. This is all really embarrassing! You wouldn’t think it possible to feel sorry for The Situation, but here we are.

Morning Links: ‘American Pie’ Reunion Special, Suri’s X-Rated Gummy Bears

● Wheels are rolling on the fourth installment of the American Pie franchise, American Reunion. Jason Biggs, Sean William Scott, and Eugene Levy are all signed on, while the rest of the cast is still determining the price of its dignity. [HR] ● TMZ got hold of The Situation’s terribly unfunny (and at times racially charged) jokes that didn’t make the Comedy Central Roast Of Donald Trump broadcast. Read only if you must. [TMZ] ● First they sold the surveillance tapes for $35,000, and now they are shopping a book deal? These jewelers are making it hard not to feel bad for Lindsay. TMZ]

● “He’s not saintly, and he’s got a big mouth, and he’ll do gross things your nephew would do,” said Jodie Foster of her friend and costar, the embattled Mel Gibson. “But I knew the minute I met him that I would love him the rest of my life.” [Yahoo/AP] ● Snooki is surprised people don’t know her new friend Paris Hilton is a party girl. And we’re surprised she’s surprised? [Ok] ● Sure, Suri, anything your little heart desires. Oh, you want those? Honey, those are just for adults. [E! ● Rebecca Black would like it if you called the symptoms of her viral fame “black plague” now. [Twitter]