Linkage: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Are Dunzo, Woody Allen’s New Flick Gets a Title

Taylor Swift and One Direction’s Harry Styles have broken up. I, for one, haven’t been this devastated since Taylor Swift broke up with that Kennedy kid. Alas, at least this means Swift will have enough material for at least three songs on her next album. (I’m guessing she’s been drafting some lyrics on that boat.) I’m hoping at least one of them is about Styles’s second set of nipples. (It’d be a good dig in a song called “I Could Never Love You (As Much As You Love Yourself)”) [NY Daily News, Gawker]

Woody Allen’s latest project has a name: Blue Jasmine. It also has a million people in it, including Alec Baldwin, Cate Blanchett, Bobby Cannavale, Louis C.K., Andrew Dice Clay, Sally Hawkins, and Peter Sarsgaard. Here’s hoping Andrew Dice Clay plays the regular Woody Allen doppelganger. [Splitsider]

Rapper / weed enthusiast The Game took a break from scarfing down peanut butter-covered Fritos and DiGiorno pizzas to make some comments following Justin Bieber’s alleged marijuana use: “Let’s keep it real. There’s a lot of people in high positions…who smoke a little weed sometimes. I’m not saying it’s okay…but [Bieber] made a mistake.” I’m totally surprised that his statement wasn’t more to the point. [SOHH]

Last year, New York pizza joint L’Asso sent me a calendar featuring pizzas in sexy poses. (One included a pizza wearing assless chaps. I know it’s hard to picture, but just go with it.) It looks like someone else has figured out exactly what I’d like to put on my wall in 2013: a calendar featuring women covered in manure. [The Gloss]

“I chose Ellen as Jesus because of the incredibly positive impact she’s had on the masses. When she came out as gay on television her career took an unjust beating, and she rose form the ashes to become more powerful and well-liked than ever. Portia de Rossi was the easy choice as Mary Magdalene. The only other character I wanted to match up historically was Judas. Despite her status as a fictional character, I absolutely had to choose Shane McCutcheon from ‘The L Word’ as Judas because of her notoriously bad behavior in relationships.” Art, you guys. [HuffPo]

James Franco. Justin Bieber. This link placed here solely for SEO purposes. [Observer]

Bones is returning for a ninth season, which only makes me wonder if anyone can bother to explain to me what the hell Bones is about. [EW]

Brad Pitt has been banned from China, and Paris Hilton has been banned from Japan. Too bad I can’t ban them from my brain HA HA HA AM I RIGHT? [Flavorwire]

Apparently we should all be friends with Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia on Facebook. [Creeper Status]

Here’s a video of a dude falling off a skateboard. You know you need it today. [Hypervocal]

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Listen to Kendrick Lamar Rap With The Game, E-40

Compton emcee Kendrick Lamar is having a nice moment right now, having won over critics and fans with a steady output of socially-conscious-but-not-completely-boring-and-in-fact-kind-of-intense-and-awesome rap music. But one must reach the mainstream to make a real dent, which is why Lamar pops up in this video for The Game’s "The City" looking maybe a little out of place next to Jayceon Taylor’s incessant mean muggery. (He still manages to outrap him, though.) Check it out after the click, via Prefix.

Elsewhere, Lamar featured on a song called "Catch A Fade," off one of three albums E-40 is supposedly releasing next Monday. Sixty songs in total! Sounds kind of overwhelming and best left to the serious rap heads you might follow on Twitter. Listen to that one below.

Morning Links: Beyoncé Buys Fans Pizza, Sarah Silverman’s New Show Starts Bidding War

● Completely unfazed by the tattoos and cigs, Courtney Love thinks all these pictures of her daughter, Frances Bean, are quite nice. “Well yeah she’s beautiful,” she said. “What else did you expect! She’s my kid!” [NYO] ● Beyoncé is perfect, we know, and her habit of buying fans and staff pizza of course doesn’t hurt. [Page Six] ● The Game went on CNN and apologized nicely to the Compton Police Department for tweeting their phone number and jamming their lines, so the police are dropping all charges. [CNN]

● Sarah Silverman’s new show has started the season’s first bidding war, with NBC, ABC, and Fox all vying for the “single-camera comedy loosely based on Silverman’s life.” [Deadline] ● With “Friday Night” at number one this week, Katy Perry joins Michael Jackson as just the second artist ever to have five singles from an album hit the top spot on the Billboard. Try and resist any further comparisons between the two. [THR] ● Martha Stewart must know: Do you think she’s hip? [Martha Stewart/Twitter]