Sure, Let’s Just Make ‘Top Chef’ and ‘The Bachelorette’ Into One Show

In what is either the most delicously genius idea in the history of reality television or proof that network execs have just given up, here comes the news that NBC will be dumping Top Chef and The Bachelorette into one giant mixing bowl of TV junk food and creating some new piece of garbage that we’ll probably have to pay someone to recap for us. 

The Observer‘s Drew Grant, who also happens to be BlackBook‘s current True Blood expert, discovered the casting call today and, well, it’s about as insane as you expect:

NBC is casting for a modern-day dating show that brings together everyone’s two favorite things: food and love.

Each episode pits real-life single men in competition with each other in the kitchen as they try to win the affection of our lovely bachelorette. The single guys will field questions while simultaneously cooking the bachelorette’s favorite dish. With the clock ticking down…who can keep their cool, let their personality shine and deliver the dish that will seal the deal? In the end the best plate gets the date!

We are looking for lively, engaging real women and men for a fun new dating show. Contestants should be 27 — 42 (any ethnicity), genuinely single, looking to connect and meet new people, and willing to step into a kitchen. Cooking skills not required but a sense of humor, good conversational/bantering skills, hobbies you are passionate about and a willingness to tell funny personal anecdotes and stories are.

Contestants must live in the NY/Tri-State area and be available to shoot July 30 and 31. Auditions week of July 16th in NYC.

I’m already searching my brain for food and love puns and failing, because I have thrown up my hands in defeat the same way some NBC suit just pulled two slips of paper from his Central Perk baseball cap in a desperate attempt to find a new stupid elimination-based reality show in which everyday Americans can look and act like total bozos. And, like all terrible things, I will probably tune in at least five episodes after I have decided it’s the worst thing in the world, because I hate myself, I guess. 

Your Daily Guide to Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

Cory Booker
People are searching Google for information about Booker, the highly visible mayor of Newark, NJ and something of a political Next Big Thing, who dimmed his ascending star Sunday with an appearance on Meet the Press. Booker, a staunch Democrat, made comments about President Obama’s strategy of taking on Mitt Romney’s work a Bain Capital, seemingly equating it with the attacks on Obama (especially those care of billionaire Joe Ricketts). “I have to just say, from a very personal level, I’m not about to sit here and indict private equity,” Booker said. “To me, it’s just we’re getting to a ridiculous point in America, especially that I know I live in a state where pension funds, unions and other people are investing in companies like Bain Capital. If you look at the totality of Bain Capital’s record, they’ve done a lot to support businesses, to grow businesses. And this to me, I’m very uncomfortable with.” Nice knowing you, Cory!

Billboard Music Awards
It’s not the Grammys, it’s not the VMAs, it’s not even the American Music Awards, this one—which aired last night and is topping Google Trends—is presented by Billboard, the folks who actually keep track of how well music sells. Crazy, right? Hosted by Julie Bowen and Ty Burell, the evening reportedly featured an underwear-clad performance from LMAFO, Katy Perry attending with her grandmother as her date, Jordin Sparks and John Legend did a tribute to Whitney Houston and the late Houston’ daughter, Bobbi Kristina, accepted an award on her behalf. What people are looking for are, of course, mostly videos. So check the best part of the night out below.

Emily Maynard
Why, Yahoo! users, why? The most-searched term on your favorite site this morning is “Emily Maynard,” as in the jilted former contestant on The Bachelor, who is now returning to TV in The Bachelorette to give finding love on camera another show. “I had a million reservations about being the Bachelorette,” she said in a recent interview before going on to explain why she would do something like this to herself (and her six-year-old daughter). “You know, they had asked me to do it previously and I said no to anyone who would listen. I told everybody I would never do it – never in a million years.”

Dharun Ravi
Another hot Yahoo! topic is Mr. Ravi, the former roommate of Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi. Clementi jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge after discovering that Ravi was spying on him during intimate moments via webcam. In March, Ravi was convicted on counts of bias intimidation, invasion of privacy, witness tampering, hindering apprehension and tampering with evidence. Ravis’ sentencing will happen today. He faces up to 10 years in prison and possible deportation to his native India.

#GrandTheftAutoTaughtMe
Nothing too serious is happening over at Twitter. There are your normal #MondayMorning trends and also this, a list of things that the video game Grand Theft Auto has taught its users.

GTA 4

GTA 3

GTA 2

GTA 1