Watch Siskel & Ebert Fight Over Nickelodeon Film ‘Good Burger’

In case you haven’t had enough of Roger Ebert nostalgia, here’s a great clip from Siskel & Ebert and the Movies from 1997 in which the two critics go head-to-head during their review of Good Burger, the feature-film adaptation of the sketch from All That featuring Kel Mitchell and current SNL cast member Kenan Thompson. Both critics found the movie pretty stupid, as they should because they are adults, but it’s fascinating to watch the Siskel and Ebert actually come up with a reason to argue about the film’s merits—Siskel trashes it completely, whereas Ebert defends it on the grounds that it’s indended for an adolescent audience. 

[h/t Rob Scheer]

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Slacker Rock Revival: Let’s Say We Did

Nostalgia for the 1990s, as we all know, is a thing. But it seems to be largely focused on which TV shows we watched and which toys (based on those TV shows) we never got in our Happy Meals. Less talked about are the grungy slacker indie rock then heavily consumed by Generation X, to help them deal with all the positivity going around. Let’s Say We Did is a band that would have fit comfortably in that scene.

First off, there’s the big meaty droner “Into Wherever.” (You seeing a pattern with these names and titles? It’s like they’re too cool to care!) It clomps and slides and wrings little phaser noises from the guitar, never anything less than full and saturated.

After that you can, at long last, learn just how the hell the game of cricket is played with this helpful video for “Goodbye!” It’s the second single from forthcoming album Hello Creatures. You know what? It’s gotta be tough work to sound this good and this gloriously lazy at the same time.

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‘Clarissa’ Fans Needn’t Grow Up: Novel About Twentysomething Clarissa Darling Set for 2014

I know how hard it is to consume culture that was made, like, in the last week when there’s still so much to digest from our childhood! I mean, why bother watching Breaking Bad when I have all of these Doug DVDs laying around? Game of Thrones? No thank you! I could care less about the Westeros because the Roundhouse Anyfamily has forever caught my attention. Isn’t #RememberThe90s fun? We’re a generation of Peter Pans and none of us ever have to be adults. Except, of course, for that precocious teen Clarissa Darling of Clarissa Explains it All

According to Entertainment Weekly, Clarissa is coming back, but not via reruns on Nick at Nite. Rather, she’s the protagonist of a new novel marketing to millennials and, probably, Generation Y, because they can’t seem to shake this crazy nostalgic obsession either.

Now, almost 19 years after the series finale, Clarissa creator Mitchell Kriegman is letting our fashion-forward heroine enter uncharted territory with a new book, Things I Can’t Explain, tentatively slated for Fall 2014.

Acquired by Thomas Dunne Books editor and Macmillan Films head Brendan Deneen, the novel will follow 23-year-old Clarissa as she tries to carve out a career as a journalist and deals with the obstacles toward becoming a real adult: finding and keeping a job in a turbulent economy, the luxury of a first apartment without roommates, figuring out how to deal with parents all over again, and unexpected feelings for a really cute guy who—of course—has an on-and-off again girlfriend.

Well, those of us in our twenties now know that the twenties are the hardest years everrrrrrr, full of confusing feelings and weird body changes that cannot, you know, be explained. Thankfully, there’s an old friend from our childhood who can help us through the tough times of being an almost-grown up. I hope it’s raw and real like Girls. Will Clarissa and Sam have weird, uncomfortable sex in their on-again, off-again relationship? Will Clarissa’s friendship with Hillary survive the test of time? Will Ferguson come out? Will her parents, Janet and Marshall, finally confront Clarissa’s possible schizophrenia, which is the only explanation for why she keeps trying to break an invisible fourth wall with strange, smug soliloquies? Or will they just cut her off? I hope all of these things happen!

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Everything Old Is New and Then Newer Again: Zubaz Edition

It’s not really even worth starting this post by asking you if you remember Zubaz, the stretchy, neon, zebra-striped pants that typified a generation of tacky athletic-inspired fashionwear. If you’re reading this, you either remember Zubaz, because you lived through them and are probably sick of this nostalgia cycle, or you think you remember Zubaz, but really you just missed the cut but you’ve just been reading too many nostalgia-obsessed listicles around the Internet and certain things have been planted into your brain. 

The NYT (ON IT!) wrote about the regenerated interest of the brand in a trend piece this week, which isn’t really a full-blown comeback for Zubaz, seeing as the brand resurrected itself in 2008 after more than a decade out of the pants-designing game. But, as Dan Stock and Bob Truax, the brains behind the pants, are continuing their efforts to repopularize the brand, they got a boost this week from the neon Adidas AdiZero zebra-striped basketball shorts that were unveiled for the NCAA Tournament. March Madness, indeed.

The instant connection was made between Adidas’ shorts (which bear a different, non-copyright-infringing pattern), but the company founders reacted positively to the association with the brand they created, for better or for worse. And as Chris Robbins writes, "Zubaz are enjoying something of a rebirth. Zubaz refuse to die." Perhaps, then, Zubaz are a metaphor for our cyclical return to everything from the years between 1990 and 1999, our "Maaaan, remember this?" means of relevancy and branding, but really the comeback isn’t a comeback at all but a brief blip on our screens and maybe some really gaudy sweatpants purchased by people who can name all three Gronkowski brothers? What do the Zubaz say about the Zeitgeist? These are the questions. 

Also, this video has nothing to do with Zubaz, but still seemed fitting. 

Why It’s Time for a New Breed of ‘Club Kids’

I was in high school when my father showed me a Boston Globe article about the Club Kids in NYC. Michael Alig and the rest of his beautiful outcasts were the central focus–this was a couple years before Alig ended up in jail for murdering Angel Melendez.

Since I was about 15 at the time, I soaked in the article like a sponge that needed validation for my own freak-dom. They were colorful, and they didn’t play by anyone else’s rules. They were, in my mind, spectacular. I ripped out the article and placed it on my wall: this was the world I wanted to know; this was the world in which I wanted to live.

I moved to New York City in 2004, eight years after Melendez’s murder. Michael Alig was in jail and I had seen Party Monster more times than I was willing to admit, despite the fact that Macaulay Culkin was horrible in the role of Alig.

When I moved to New York City, it was no longer the city that embraced the “freaks” that I had loved from afar based on the Boston Globe article I read so many years before. Granted, New York will never be short on freaks, but the Club Kids, the group of individuals whom I learned to love through articles and then documentaries after the murder, the people with whom I thought I could be best friends were long gone. Their time in the sun had fizzled, Peter Gatien’s Limelight was no longer, and although it was turned into the club Avalon for a short time, it is now a fucking market place. If Alig and Gatien were dead, they’d be rolling over in their graves.

Some of the best parts about New York is that it’s forever changing. A restaurant you love is something else a month later, the bookstore you adored eventually becomes a boutique, and Starbucks are subtly putting proper cafes out of business one by one. It’s either gorgeous, or a heartbreaking sort of affairs—depending on what side of change you reside.

But if change is part of NYC, if evolving, embracing the new is how we roll, then isn’t it time for a new breed of Club Kids? Someone has to step up and take their place, and fill the void they left behind. Why? Because being a freak should never go out of style.

Michael Alig, realizing he was an outcast in his Indiana hometown, moved to New York City to find a place in which he could fit in and feel at home. James St. James had a similar story in that he, too, left Michigan behind to pursue a life far more extraordinary than the one he knew. Together they indulged in a life of excess, and were the leaders of a pack of misfits who had come to New York City for the same reason they had: to find others like them. They may not have been a voice of a generation, and no one would probably ever consider them perfect role models, but what they did do, what they did that was more important and for which that era will always be remembered, was that they made freaks the world over feel less alone.

Kids, like me, read about them, watched them on talk shows, and although some would argue that they dressed and acted that way purely for attention, who the fuck cares? They were living the life they wanted; the life they chose.

In a world where mediocrity is practically championed, and the conventional expectations of working nine-to-five, living in a house in the suburbs, and having three kids with names that will be out of style by next year, the Club Kids stood for something else. They stood—and still do, although they’ve all grown up and moved on from that part of their life—for a polar opposite of the mainstream. They were distinct on all levels, and their uniqueness, I imagine (although I was too young to have known it intimately), was contagious.

I’m not sure who we can delegate to start a new wave of Club Kids, but it has to happen. There’s too much emphasis put on people like Kim Kardashian and other two-bit, semi-celebrities who have nothing but the mundane to offer, and a mundane that the masses eat up. The masses are boring and lack originality. Club Kids, on the other hand, are colorfully exempt from such a drab adjective. And if one kid from somewhere in middle Ohio can look at a Club Kid and realize that’s the person they are, too, then it will be worth it.

So do we have any volunteers for someone to take Michael Alig’s spot sans the murder part? It’s not as though he’s getting out of jail anytime soon, and we really need to start working on this revolution now. 

Follow Amanda Chatel on Twitter.

The Hidden Treasures of Apartment Therapy’s January Cure

For the month of January, Apartment Therapy—the self-help guru of home design websites—has coached its readers through what it dubbed The January Cure, a 30-day clean-up diet. The project involved a daily assignment, given via blog and email. Along the way, one of the participants, Maria Pinkelton, unearthed a treasure trove of old Sassy magazines, and shared her discovery on Twitter. I am a great lover of cleaning and also of Sassy, which I grew up fetishizing, as did so many girls (and guys!) of my age; so when I saw Maria’s tweet I fell to the ground keening and rending my garments from sheer burning jealousy.

Then I picked myself up and emailed her to ask a few questions.

What made you decide to take on the January Cure?
I am a huge fan of Apartment Therapy and thought it would be great to begin 2013 with a relatively clean slate. I have a two-year-old son and a husband who really isn’t into the whole organization thing. Needless to say I had my challenges but I thought that by following the steps and taking smaller bites it would not be such a daunting task. Also, I looked at it as a group exercise class — there would be others motivating me along and I would not be alone.

Did you know the collection of Sassys were there, or were they a total discovery?
They had been in my mother’s house for ages in a plastic storage bin. I had completely forgotten about them and then got so excited when I remembered they were there. They went from her house to storage because at that time we lived in a one bedroom condo with no room for them. When we moved everything from the storage unit they landed on the shelves in the garage of our new townhouse. We had so much other stuff going on they stayed there until this month. I was so excited to thumb through them and give them a home on the shelves in our new place.

What’s your favorite issue?
The Johnny Depp cover of course. I remember losing my mind when that thing came in the mail. I dug through the bin crazy-style to make sure it was in there when I opened it up here.

Did you have a favorite Sassy staffer and feature?
I loved Kim France. I also liked Christina Kelly, but Kim had this really quirky style thing working. I wore "Kim France Pants" a lot during high school. It was nice that there was a cool name to put with the look my mother called very "hobo."

"Make It" was great. They would teach you to completely deconstruct and then reconstruct clothing. One time I remember they made a skirt from men’s neckties [JK: OMG I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT AHHH!!]. It was awesome and in the magazine Mayim Bialik wore it. They were the opposite of the horrible Butterick patterns my mom would pull out.

Have you unearthed any other treasures during your clean-up?
I found my remote hard drive, clown nose and my hand carved wooden handle pocket knife. I know that is a random combination but I had wondered where all of them had gone. The funny thing is they were all in the same place in my closet. I guess they were hanging out waiting for me to find them.

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Do You Remember the ’90s? Lisa Loeb Does!

Lisa Loeb, who strummed a guitar into our hearts and begged us to "Stay"—stay, please stay, where are you going? noooo, stayyyyy—never really went anywhere, but she’s back, sort of, with a new album called No Fairy Tale. It’s her tenth album, but her first record for adults in five years. (She released an album for children called Lisa Loeb’s Silly Silly Sing-Along: ‘The Disappointing Pancake’ and Other Zany Songs last year.) While she’s best known for her debut single, which was inclued on the soundtrack for Reality Bites (one of the most ’90s movies to ever ’90s), she’s hardly a one-hit wonder. Don’t you remember "I Do"? I do!

Of course, it’s always tough for musicians to break out of the identities they build with their earliest work, particularly when it’s so associated with the "alternative" (and all it doesn’t mean) from an era currently enjoying a cultural revival. So, of course, Lisa Loeb’s new album features a song call "The ’90s." Loeb opens up to Entertainment Weekly about writing the song:

Chad [Gilbert, New Found Glory guitarist and Loeb’s producer] literally said, “We should write a song about the ’90s,” and I thought “Ugh.” Yes, I was popular in the ’90s, but what am I going to write about the ’90s? I don’t want it to be some cutesy song about the ‘90s, but then I thought I wasn’t sure if my resistance was because I was scared, or what it was. So I tried to write it, and I decided to write it about the specific incident of making the video for “Stay.” About the dress I wore, about my shoes that I wore, and a couple of things I hadn’t been able to express before…

When I first started out, I remember reading press and people would call me a waif, and I felt like I wasn’t being taken seriously as a musician. That felt so strange to me, because that’s what I had done my whole life: Play guitar, write music, play music. I wasn’t this pop singer that appeared out of nowhere, I had been working at this forever. Then when it came to making the video for “Stay,” I had to make the decision: Did I want to go with Ethan Hawke’s idea about a one-take video that would not include my band, or did I want to prove to everybody that I had a rock band and I had been doing this forever? I chose Ethan’s idea of doing it in one take, which I thought was so strong and unique and interesting and told a great story. But now here I am with the song “The ’90s” where I can explain the situation in my specific way that I had a short dress and Betsey Johnson worked with me, and these are the shoes I was wearing, and I didn’t get to go with my band, and I’m not a folkie. I had to keep telling people I wasn’t a folk singer even though I played acoustic guitar. It’s important for me to talk about this time period, which I love, but again as I say exactly in the chorus, I loved it then but I don’t want to go back. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking about it and reminiscing, but I also love moving forward.

Take a listen to "The ’90s" below, via Spotify:

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Disney Casts Lead in ‘Boy Meets World’ Series Sequel

#Rememberthe90s? Because the ’00s didn’t produce anything worth revisiting (YET), and because The Disney Channel appears to be desperate to grab the attention of those between the ages 24 and 32, there’s going to be a new series featuring the cast of Boy Meets World, the ABC sitcom starring the lesser-known Savage brother, Ben. Picking up thirteen years after the original show ended, Boy Meets Girl follows Cory Matthews, his now-wife Topanga (played by Danielle Fishel, obvs), and their daughter, Riley. Following a nation-wide casting call, the role of Riley is going to 11-year-old Rowan Blanchard.

Entertainment Weekly, who got an exclusive on the news, reminds us that the Boy Meets Girl series won’t be beamed into our homes and Hulus for a while—the pilot has yet to be filmed, nor has the series gotten an official Disney greenlight. Here’s the good news, millennials: you have all of 2013 to find some charges to babysit so you won’t be total embarrassing losers for watching this show without the presence of someone within the target demographic age in the room!

(How long, by the way, before little Rowan Blanchard sheds her Disney Channel image by appearing in a Spring Breakers knock-off? Can we shoot for 2016?)

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Now That The Mark McGrath Cruise Exists, We Can Forget The ’90s Ever Happened

Remember around this time about eight years ago when ’80s nostalgia reached its peak and VH1 had that show Bands Reunited, where a bunch of one-hit wonders either did or didn’t get back together and it was equal parts delightful and deeply upsetting? No? Well, it looks like we’ve hit that point in the #Rememberthe90s craze, the veritable Olduvai Cliff of our green slime-coated, Internet-fueled nostalgia. And the party responsible is Sugar Ray frontman and one-time Law and Order: SVU guest star Mark McGrath, who has curated a music cruise lineup that is part S.S. Coachella, part Buzzfeed rewind post.

The Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise will sail from Miami to Nassau from October 18th to 21st, 2013, on a Carnival ship. And the lineup features some key players of alternative rock radio of then and now, including Sugar Ray (who are kind of the ultimate lying-buzzed-on-a-deck-somewhere band, when you think about it), musical Guy Fieris Smash Mouth, Gin Blossoms, Spin Doctors, Vertical Horizon, Marcy Playground, The Verve Pipe, Cracker and the lead singers of Collective Soul and Live doing acoustic sets. If my visions of this cruise are accurate, then every TV on the damn boat is either playing Daria or the early seasons of The Real World, and somewhere, the "Bee Girl" from the "No Rain" video will be traversing the ship, serving up cocktails and yarns from her glory days.

I don’t know about you, but the best part of that for me is obviously the special acoustic set featuring Ed Kowalczyk, frontman of alternative radio staples Live. Sing to me, O muse, of the angst of bros at sea, the songs of many an aspiring busker playing to the lunch crowd at Potbelly.