Morning Links: Charlie Sheen Settles With ‘Two & a Half Men,’ George Clooney Gets Married on TV

● Charlie Sheen’s suit with the producers of Two and a Half Men over the work he did before he went crazy is drawing to a close, with Sheen set to walk away with $25 million in the next two weeks and upwards up $100 million in the long run. [TMZ] ● The real victim of this Salahi/Journey scandal? The White House crasher’s doberman pinscher, Rio, who actually died. Tareq led the backyard procession yesterday, laying the poor dog to rest in peace with its favorite blanket. [TMZ] ● Tracy Morgan played it safe and made neither jokes nor homophobic statements while proposing to his model girlfriend, Megan Wallover. [NYDN]

● James Franco has announced plans to direct an adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s gruesome novel Child of God, about a man who spends his life in a cave after being accused of rape. [Huff Post] ● This commercial for a Norwegian bank might be the only time you get to hear forever-bachelor George Clooney in a post-wedding day glow. [EW] ● That Jack White and Insane Clown Posse collaboration? It’s a love story! We think… [Stereogum]

Morning Links: Mila Kunis’ Hacked Phone Reveals Timberlake Pics, Jay-Z’s Secret Son

● Scarlett Johansson wasn’t the only one baring all yesterday. Apparently Mila Kunis’ phone was also hacked, and on it were several “seductive” pics of her avowed not-boyfriend Justin Timberlake. There’s even one where he’s got a pair of pink panties on his head. Sounds like love! [TMZ] ● Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz are done for good. According to Page Six, all their dates were at the gym and he’s been trying to get out of the relationship “for weeks.” [Page Six] ● Guys, White House crashing Real Housewife Michaele Salahi was totally not kidnapped; she just forgot to tell her husband that she has a new boyfriend. And that he is the guitarist from Journey… [TMZ]

● Kanye West’s one part puppet, one part Kim Kardashian, several parts ugly sweater Comedy Central show looks so hilarious, though it never made it to air. This behind-the-scenes clip eases the pain. [PopDust] ● Did Jay-Z have a secret baby nine years ago with a model from Trinidad? Probably! But he already gave her $1 million and Beyoncé knows, too. [DailyMail] ● Making amends with Rick Ross is as simple as buying his pal DJ Khaled “a couple steaks.” At least for Kreayshawn it was. Who says diplomacy can’t work? [UpRoxx]