Oh Snap! Model Miranda Kerr’s Baby Flynn Is In It to Win it

You guys, it’s getting really difficult to keep up with all these designer-clad celebrity babies popping in as of late. Just when we thought that Beyonce and Jay-Z’s Blue Ivy, sealed the deal on the just-born best-dressed by donning a stylish Alice Temperley sack, here comes Miranda Kerr and actor Orlando Bloom’s adorable son Flynn to steal her thunder.

Today, the tot with eyelashes to envy was spotted in New York wearing a sheath that felt very Pucci. Oh, and her supermodel Aussie mom was there, too. So, what’s the verdict? Are you team Flynn Bloom, Blue Ivy Carter, Harper Seven, or the good old standby, Suri Cruise? don’t even get us started on Brangelina’s brood.

Even in a Sack, Blue Ivy Gives Harper Seven a Run For Her Money

If you noticed the sun shining a little brighter on January 7, it was because the great one, Blue Ivy Carter, finally decided to grace us with her presence. Although the supreme offspring of Beyonce and Jay-Z has been on our planet for less than two months, she’s already making waves in the fashion world due to the high-end fabrics her famous mother has been toting her around in. Harper Seven must be shaking in her overpriced booties right about now.

According to Grazia, Blue Ivy sported a stylish sheath by British designer Alice Temperley on her first public outing, which is a bold move considering that the UK is Beckham baby Harper’s territory. We’re guessing that Beyonce will swiftly make sure that chic sacks become a thing and that her baby Blue will be concealed under scarves from the likes of Chanel, Gucci, Prada, Givenchy, etc. 

Suri Cruise, who?

Harper Seven is the Suri Cruise of 2012

2011 was the year of youth style. From tween actors like Elle Fanning and Hailee Steinfeld, to bloggers like Tavi Gevinson, the fashion world was openly enthralled with said sartorial wunderkinds, documenting their fashion sense just as thoroughly as they would for Kate Moss and Chloë Sevigny. Leading the pack was the offspring of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise. While the five-year-old stylesetter was last year’s tot to envy, there’s a new kid on the block that’s quickly giving Cruise a run for her money–and she’s only five months old.   

On July 10, 2011, Victoria and David Beckham welcomed their first baby girl, Harper Seven. This certainly filled a void in the pop star turned fashion designer’s life because, although she has enjoyed styling her three sons in cute little man outfits for years, it was time that Posh Spice had her very own Mini-Me to match ensembles with. As Grazia thoroughly documents in today’s Harper Seven style spotlight, the girl can’t even stand on her own two feet yet and she’s already rocking Stella McCartney and Chloe.

While Harper Seven is poised to be this year’s best-dressed baby, this is all child’s play until the real fashion phenom arrives: Beyonce and Jay-Z’s first born.

That Guy Split Up With What’s-Her-Face

TMZ, People, and the Federal Bureau of Investigation have all harmoniously confirmed the terrible breakup of a torrid sexual relationship between Hollywood actors Jennifer Anniston and Robert Pattinson, who appeared on The Daily Show with Jimmy Fallon last night to confirm that he will be the new legal guardian for Suri Cruise, the illegitimate child of British chanteuse Adele and an unnamed father who is probably Bret Michaels, the rock star famous for his recently called-off double-engagement to Twilight’s Kristen Stewart and one of the girls from Teen Mom.

Meanwhile, Gillian Anderson, Anne Hathaway and Carey Mulligan have filed for a divorce from their respective husbands—Stevie Wonder, Tom Cruise and Justin Theroux (née Jeremy Piven). Kenny G, accredited just two days ago as a lawyer, will represent both men in what is likely to be a blood-soaked beast of a court proceeding. Kenny G is also caught in the middle of his own bitter divorce from a crazed fan, who filed for marriage without his knowledge; that case is presided over by Judge Judy.

Judge Judy could not be reached for comment, but this weekend she was spotted scarfing down hamburgers at Chateau Marmont with Ryan Gosling, the world-renown David Duchovny impersonator.

Suri Cruise Enrolled In The Same NYC Prep School That Brought Us Paris Hilton

It looks like Katie Holmes plans to stay awhile: the recently freed actress has enrolled six-year-old Suri Cruise in the Convent of the Sacred Heart, a posh NYC all-girls prep school. That sounds all fine and good until you realize this school was responsible for Paris and Nicky Hilton’s education. However, let’s not forget Suri was thisclose to being brainwashed at a Scientologist school. 

Sacred Heart is located on East 91st Street at 5th Ave, a bit of a trek from Katie and Suri’s current Chelsea digs. The $38,000-per-year tuition has also been footed for the likes of the somewhat more respectable Caroline Kennedy, Jordana Brewster, Caroline Giuliani, Ally Hilfiger, and the late Gloria Vanderbilt. None other than Lady Gaga is also the Roman Catholic school’s alum. A rival prep school student once sniffed to Page Six magazine that Sacred Heart girls were "a little sluttier and less smart." Don’t say you weren’t warned, Katie.

Parents of Sacred Heart current students, nuns, and ritzy neighbors, get your sharp elbows ready for the inevitable influx of paparazzi. It should be fun. 

Morning Links: Jay-Z Shopping Armored Cars, Drake Announces Work With Justin Bieber

● Heeding the advice of fellow father Tom Cruise, Jay-Z is forgoing the usual mini-van for an armed vehicle to tote his kid around in. [ShowbizSpy]

● In something of a Canadian pop coup, Drake hinted that he’ll be working in some capacity on Justin Bieber’s next album, Believe. [Rap-Up]

Tupac’s sex tape sold rather anti-climatically to a private collector for an undisclosed sum. [TMZ]

● For the third year running, "whatever" has been declared the year’s most annoying word. [Reuters]

● Louis C.K. has been tapped to headline the 68th annual Radio & TV Congressional Correspondents Dinner where, sources say, no topic is off-limits and sometimes things get awkward. [Page Six]

● Atlanta rapper and Waka Flocka Flame’s right hand, Slim Dunkin, was fatally shot Friday evening while working in his recording studio. [Reuters]

● Suri Cruise’s Christmas wish list — complete with ponies and gowns and decked in diamonds! — allegedly amounts to a whopping $130,000. Tom needs to teach Jay about this, too. [StarPulse]

Morning Links: Blake Lively Already Moved On from Leo, Cher Trashes the Kardashians

● Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio just “officially” split, and yet the Gossip Girl is already rumored to be shacking up with a new man, Ryan Reynolds, in Boston. [NYDN] ● Lady Gaga is getting the Lifetime treatment with a bioepic currently called Fame Monster: The Lady Gaga Story. [Gossip Cop] ● Usually the director, Werner Herzog will take a turn in front of the camera to play the villain (The Zec!, an “ageless and shadowy figure”) in Tom Cruise’s forthcoming One Shot. [THR]

● Cher is not impressed by the day’s divas. “I don’t watch reality ! Never saw a Kardashian but these Bitches should b Drop kicked down a freeway !Not kidding!,” she tweeted. Cher will probably not be sitting down for Kim Kardashian’s Wedding Spectacular this Sunday. [Huff Post] ● Suri Cruise learns that sometimes life is tough. [TMZ] ● Heads up, Wayne! Super producer Doctor Luke wants your “Miami cards.” DJ Khaled and Diddy’s, too. “I’m tired of seeing these cats using up our beaches, soaking up our sunshine, taking over our nightclubs, and sleeping with our women without investing anything into the community,” writes Luke, threatening to revoke the stars’ Miami privileges if they don’t show improvement by January 1. [Miami Times]

Morning Links: ‘American Pie’ Reunion Special, Suri’s X-Rated Gummy Bears

● Wheels are rolling on the fourth installment of the American Pie franchise, American Reunion. Jason Biggs, Sean William Scott, and Eugene Levy are all signed on, while the rest of the cast is still determining the price of its dignity. [HR] ● TMZ got hold of The Situation’s terribly unfunny (and at times racially charged) jokes that didn’t make the Comedy Central Roast Of Donald Trump broadcast. Read only if you must. [TMZ] ● First they sold the surveillance tapes for $35,000, and now they are shopping a book deal? These jewelers are making it hard not to feel bad for Lindsay. TMZ]

● “He’s not saintly, and he’s got a big mouth, and he’ll do gross things your nephew would do,” said Jodie Foster of her friend and costar, the embattled Mel Gibson. “But I knew the minute I met him that I would love him the rest of my life.” [Yahoo/AP] ● Snooki is surprised people don’t know her new friend Paris Hilton is a party girl. And we’re surprised she’s surprised? [Ok] ● Sure, Suri, anything your little heart desires. Oh, you want those? Honey, those are just for adults. [E! ● Rebecca Black would like it if you called the symptoms of her viral fame “black plague” now. [Twitter]

Morning Links: Charlie Sheen Finally Fired, Chris Brown Strips Down

● This has to be the least interesting development so far, but: Charlie Sheen has been fired from Two and a Half Men for his engagement in “dangerously self-destructive conduct” and because he “appears to be very ill.” Charlie’s cool, though. “Now I can take all of their bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on these silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension,” he told TMZ. [TMZ/TMZ] ● Ke$ha has teamed up with LifeStyle to distribute condoms with her glow-painted face on the packaging at her concerts. Stay safe, even if you like to consummate with glitter. [E!] ● Jennifer Aniston and Smart Water set out to game the internet by employing all the trappings of a classic viral vid — puppies, dirty-dancing babies, a double rainbow, a good kick in the crotch — and then tagging it “Jen Aniston’s Sex Tape.” Well, you got us guys. Here it is: [YouTube]

● When something like this happens to a woman, it’s a public shaming. Chris Brown happens to be a man, though, and easy on the eyes. So when his naked mirror pics leaked yesterday, the internets took it upon themselves to make them into a “For The Ladies” slideshow. Because that’s what we’ve really been waiting for. Thanks, guys. NSFW: [WSHH] ● Suri Cruise, who is now nearly five years old and frequently photographed in high heels with a Starbucks cup in hand, still seems to have an affinity for her pacifier. Inquiring minds ask: how old is too old? Well, 97% of you are quite certain, that’s too old. [Us] ● You might remember a few weeks ago when Atlanta’s Yung LA joined the ranks of rappers with face tattoos by inking some sort of pink duck onto his left cheek. Well, the tattoo looked a little less cool than he had hoped, and so he’s covering it up with a big “LA.” Who would have thought. [RealTalkNY]