Your Daily Guide To Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

John Edwards

Google searchers are feeling real political this morning as they seek out news about one-time Presidential hopeful and hot-for-politics bad guy John Edwards. The news they’re after is about how Edwards was acquitted Thursday on one count of corruption and had the good luck that a mistrial was declared regarding five other counts. Also, it’s unlikely the philandering haircut enthusiast will be retried. "I want to make sure that everyone hears from me and from my voice that while I do not believe I did anything illegal or ever thought I was doing something illegal, I did an awful, awful lot that is wrong," the disgraced pol said. "And there is no one else responsible for my sins." 

National Donut Day

For a country supposedly at war with obesity, we’ve got a funny way of doing things. But nevertheless, it’s National Donut Day and people are searching the Internet to find out what that means for them. Mostly it’s a free donut with the purchase of any beverage at Dunkin’ Donuts and the opportunity to talk to coworkers about moronic imaginary holidays. Still, enjoy yourself—they’re donuts, not fountain soda

Star Wars 1313

We’d say that nerds have taken over Yahoo!, but they’ve really always been there. It’s just that today they’re searching for news about Star Wars 1313, a video game supposedly set to be announced at the big E3 gaming conference. The game allows people with bad social skills to focus on the Star Wars character of Boba Fett, a bounty hunter, while never changing out of sweats.

Rebecca Black

Remember “Friday,” the song that took the web by storm and made a martyr and sensation out of remarkably untalented singer Rebecca Black? Well, it wasn’t enough for her. Now the Californian is getting involved in, what else, the Mexican presidential elections. I personally think that it is very important for youth and teens to be so involved in politics," Black said in a promotional video for Institutional Revolutionary Party candidate Enrique Peña Nieto. "Even though I’m only 14 and won’t be able to vote for another four years, you don’t want to be 18 and not know anything about what you are going to vote about."

#WhatTurnsMeOff

Twitter is lit up with donut news, of course, but its less hungry users are busy telling one another what it is that ruins the mood for them. As you can imagine, it’s illuminating.

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