Special Production of ‘Cats’ to Feature 3,000 Performers

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I hope you’ve all upped your stock in pancake makeup and yak fur, because there are some people in England who have completely lost their damn minds. Stagecoach Theatre Arts, a U.K.-based part-time theater arts school with locations and programs across the globe, is celebrating its twenty-fifth anniversary with a production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats. In an attempt to make an already bad idea even weirder, the people in charge of the production are going to stuff as many damn people dressed as cats onto one stage as possible.

According to Playbill, the production, taking place on March 24 at the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham,  will be the largest staging of Cats. Well, no duh.

Thousands of performers, ages 7-18, from Stagecoach schools nationally and internationally will take part in the event.

The main cast will comprise 50 specially selected dancers and 500 singers in a grand choir from 13 Stagecoach schools. An additional 2,500 young performers from 47 schools throughout the U.K., Malta, Germany and Ireland have been allocated a selection of the Cats score "to bring their own individual creative dances to life within the vast arena," according to press notes. These students will be supported by a virtual choir of international students from Stagecoach schools in Canada, Germany, Gibraltar, Ireland, South Africa, Spain and the U.S., visible on large screens.

The orchestra will be led by conductor Paul Leddington Wright.

In a statement composer Andrew Lloyd Weber said, "I’m absolutely thrilled that so many young people will be able to take part in this very special performance of Cats. Happy 25th Birthday Stagecoach and thank you for giving your students the opportunity to perform the show in such a spectacular way."

Now, the first musical I ever saw was Cats, and it blew my mind, mostly because I was about twelve years old and I had never seen adults in spandex before, much less spandex-wearing adults bending and jumping all over a stage. Lots of camel toes and humps, is what I am saying, and it opened my eyes to things I wasn’t sure I wanted to see. So you can imagine why the thought of 3,000 children doing such a thing makes me uncomfy. On top of that nightmare parade, it’s Cats. Cats is terrible. Cats is a mess. Cats is hilariously, ridiculously stupid. And that’s when adults perform in it.

Basically, this is too many jellicles for one place. 

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