Today is very special. For one, the sun over on the East Coast has at last decided to cooperate with it being spring and all. More noteworthy, the elusive chanteuse known as, sorry Mariah (this is referring to the whistle note queen’s fantastic forthcoming album title, ‘Me. I Am Mariah… The Elusive Chanteuse’ for all y’all with a failed pop culture degree) Lana Del Rey has gifted the world with her already iconic video for the most transcendent song of SS ‘14 aka “West Coast.” The (obviously black and white) vid involves Lana in blue jeans, white shirt frolicking on a beach with that tattooed cutie that she plays with in a lot of her other iconic videos. It gives me my kind of spring break vibes — chain-smoking whilst spinning sloppily with the breeze in my locks/the waves crashing into my calves after too many xanax/strawberry daq combos. Also, hopefully beach sex. I think spring break takes place usually around Easter? I don’t care to remember — my mom wouldn’t allow me to do the messy spring break thing with my posse of Juicy-wearing mean girls who developed early-on kegger/cocaine issues, which, in retrospect is probably a very good thing. Plus, Ocean City seems really vile. Anyway, this immaculate “West Coast” video really got me thinking about spring break, specifically MTV’s Spring Break circa the TRL days. (Can you imagine Lana’s beachside performance in Cancun with her parliament on fire and she’s singing “oh baby, oh baby I’m in love”? Fuuuuck me.) I mean, Jerry Springer bringing his raunch-a-thon to Cancun is responsible for my tween-to-troubled teen/queen transformation. That shit deserved several Emmy’s. Also, the pop star performances were everything and, unlike the VMA’s, seemingly budget-free nary a fog machine, pythons as props, etc. What can I say? I love a stripped down pop star moment. In other words, (MTV) spring break, forever. Here’s my fucking highlights.
Foxy Brown — “Hot Spot” (1999)
Foxy shouting “Spring break, where you at!!!” is seriously getting me so bouncing around kinds of hyped while I type this mess at this coffee shop. Goosebumps, too. Also, take note of those game-changing green gloves, the way she holds that damn mic, those bomb ass dancers, etc. 1999 forever.
Spice Girls — “Wannabe” (1997)
Don’t. Get. Me. Fucking. Started. If this doesn’t make you smile, check that pulse, girl. (Sidenote: I’d just like to inform you that the Spice Girls sing live 94% of the time, so don’t you dare hate on this. Girl power.)
Aaliyah — “One In A Million” (2000)
Everything about this. <3 (Remembs when pop stars could dance? Are those Oakley sunnies?)
La Bouche — “Be My Lover”
Those rafter-shaking soulful pipes. Those goosebump-inducing outfits. I don’t know what to do with myself.
Jessica Simpson — “Irresistible” (2001)
LOL @ that moment when Jessica tried to come for Britney. Those “dance moves”… Slay Jess, slay!
Hi. Here’s N*Sync performing “Here We Go” during a “fashion show”??? N*Sync has got the flow? You’re welcome.
Destiny’s Child x Fashion show. Yeah, there’s that too.
No Doubt — “Spiderwebs” (1996)
I’m still crying over 1996, the greatest year that shall ever exist. Also, Gwen’s bangs.
And finally, I’d like to point out that MTV Spring Break peaked with Sisqo’s “The Thong Song.” I can’t even find it on YouTube. But there’s this clip.