Tom Brady Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead in a Red Chevy Truck

Tom Brady and his wife Gisele Bundchen. Photo: Julian Mackler/BFAnyc.com

The Super Bowl may be over but we’re certainly not through with talking about Tom Brady. After winning four Super Bowls for the Patriots and gaining the title Super Bowl MVP three times, it is easy to dub Brady not just an athlete but an American super hero. He’s got the super model wife Gisele Bundchen, a collection of Super Bowl rings, and three loving children, so the last thing he apparently needs is a new truck. A 2015 Chevrolet Colorado to be exact.

16x9The truck: pictured above is a similar truck to the one given to Brady. The truck appeared in one of Chevy’s incredibly sexist Super Bowl commercials. An ad that can coast upwards of $4 million. Photo: Youtube/Chevrolet. 

When you’re named MVP, it seems free pick up trucks just fall into your hands! In fact, Chevy gifted one to Brady for his MVP status. Brady is of course too busy with the Audis and the Bentleys of the world to consider adding the gas guzzling truck to his and Gisele’s motorized roster. He’s giving it away.

The solution? Pass that truck along to Patriot’s player Malcolm Butler. Butler is the undrafted rookie who put his name on the map when he made the most buzzed about interception of the night at the first yard line helping with the New England Patriot’s victory. During a radio interview on Tuesday Brady insisted he’d love to slip the truck to Malcolm, stating his play during Sunday night’s game was nothing short of “incredible.”

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating PUNK: Chaos to Couture - INSIDE ARRIVALS 1Truck or no truck, Tom and Gisele look hot hand-in-hand. Photo: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com

The Giants Are Hitting Hard (and We Don’t Mean Their Wives)

It is the national conversation. Domestic violence is unacceptable. You don’t hit your kid with a stick. You don’t hit your future wife with an upper cut. And you don’t threaten to kill your ex girlfriend. Even an announcer from Baltimore with his own checkered past can tell you, “there’s no room in our world for (this).”

But what about on the football field itself? Is hitting allowed there? Watching a game you can’t be sure anymore.

Illegal contact. Defensive pass interference. Unnecessary roughness. And that is just one quarter. C’mon Ref! Let ‘em play. What used to get you “hit of the game” now gets you 15 yards. ​

What’s a fan to do? Be glad that half the calls are on the other team?

Last Sunday at MetLife Stadium, home of the New York Giants, the halftime show harkened back to when apes ruled the world, featuring a bunch of monkeys riding on the backs of dogs. And two guys in our section got into a fight about who was better, the Giants or the Bills.  Now that is a flashback!

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Even better, the Giants are playing like their old selves, but with some new characters in charge. New offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo’s West Coast playbook is starting to really work, Rashad Jennings, the Giants’ new backfield addition from the Raiders, could not be stopped against Houston last Sunday, gaining 176 yards on the ground. ​Thursday night, Larry Donnell, a 6 foot 6 tight end in his second year, caught 3 touchdown passes. Last year he caught only three passes the whole season.  Plus mainstay Eli Manning has been completing 70 percent of his passes. The Giants are now two wins and two losses.

Even as things got back to normal, there was still a reminder this is 2014. Niles Paul of Washington caught a deep ball down the middle, and as he turned and lowered his head was met by the Giants Safeties Antrel Rolle and Quintin Demps in a three-way collision. Paul left the game for good and Demps got a penalty for hitting a defenseless player. This was soon erased by a turnover and the Giants continued on their way to a dominating 45-14 win.

In other cultural news related to football, Phil Simms, the Giants all-time great quarterback and accomplished CBS announcer has indicated he will not use the derogatory name of the Washington team on the air. He did a great job but noticeably slipped up one time during the broadcast, catching himself.

More after the game.

Worldcup Stars Try On Their New Uniforms

Luis Gustavo and Pepe

Nike unveiled its new gear for football (not American) players and fans in Madrid today ahead of the upcoming season in Brasil. The kits are all high on high-tech innovation – laser-cut ventilation and engineered mesh will keep players cool, and everything is sustainable, the word of the hour – fabrics are made from recycled plastic bottles.

Martin Lotti, Creative Director for Nike Football, on the collection:

“The overall goal was to create iconic and memorable pieces for the players to wear throughout their time in Brasil. This is the biggest moment in their football careers; we wanted to deliver players our very best product to help them perform their best on-pitch and inspire them off-pitch.”

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National Treasure Huey Lewis Spoofs ‘American Psycho’

I don’t think it’s serendipity that I walked to work this morning with "I Want a New Drug" in my head. Instead, it’s probably because of all the press releases I’ve received lately announcing the thirtieth anniversary of the release of Huey Lewis and the News’ Sports. Who knows where the time goes? (Also, please sign up for my mailing list, because I’ll send PR blasts in a few months about my thirtieth birthday.) Many of you young kids might know the song because the Ghostbusters theme ripped it off, or, possibly, from Christian Bale’s monologue in American Psycho. Thank goodness Huey Lewis himself has a good sense of humor about the latter and teamed up with Funny or Die and "Weird Al" Yankovic to parody the cult-classic.

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Hockey About To Get Totally Gay

Rumors are percolating that Josh Gorges, a 28-year-old defenseman who plays for the National Hockey League’s Montreal Canadiens, will officially come out this week. (If you weren’t actually planning on that, sorry Josh!) It would be the first such gesture by a player on a professional sports team that is actually on TV now and then.

But holy shit—hockey is going to be the first sport with an openly gay star? This is making you look really bad, soccer. And baseball may only come to grips with homosexuality once Mike Piazza is inducted into the Hall of Fame and dies. Actually, could it be he’s being kept out of Cooperstown because he won’t be honest about himself? Very shrewd, MLB.

However this shakes out, though, it’s worth noting that it really doesn’t matter one way or the other what guys like Gorges do—some athletes are gay and that’s that. You know that big iconic trophy for that annual championship you care about? Gay people have touched it. Hell, gay people have probably mixed cocktails in it. Did you know that when you drunkenly slur along to "We Are The Champions," you’re singing with a gay dude? Who is also dead?  

And by the by, if you find the NHL’s progress on the matter too slow, there’s always the Gay Hockey Association. Really!

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Nobody Say Anything About Dennis Rodman’s North Korean Espionage Mission

Guys, please don’t mess this up. The CIA has been working for years on getting an American basketball star into North Korea to seriously disrupt their nuclear research program, and the more you talk about it, the more chance Dennis Rodman has of being exposed as our greatest and most daring spy. So shhhhh.

Honestly I shouldn’t even have to explain this to you, god, but Dennis Rodman has been working covertly for the past thirty years. You think there was really some tattooed, green-haired, star forward for the Chicago Bulls known as “The Worm”? Please. That was just the perfect cover. The one he needed to infiltrate a brutal dictatorship.

Now he’s this close to crippling North Korea’s military infrastructure and all you can do is blab about his historic journey to act as diplomat to the isolated country and possibly meet its autocratic ruler, Kim Jong-un. Well, shove it! This is a dangerous mission, and Rodman doesn’t need you drawing undue attention to his nefarious plot. Come on. Play it cool.   

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Robert DeLong is an EDM Artist on the Rise

Seattle-born, L.A.-based singer-songwriter Robert DeLong has a flare for the alternative. In a good way. The 26 (soon to be 27)-year-old EDM mastermind, dubbed a Young Artist to Watch by MTV, has the music scene in his hands—quite literally. Indeed, among the myriad instruments he manages to maneuver during performances are Wiimotes and Joysticks, rigged like MIDIs and adding edge to his already memorable brand of booty movin’ tunes.

Seriously, though, this whiz kid’s got the chops and multitasks better than the best of us—in front of an audience, no less. He’s a one-man-band who sings, drums, and fiddles with game controllers and keyboards, sometimes going so far as to incorporate guitar, too. His live set is something to behold, a sweaty mid-twenties talent, hair slicked down in an exaggerated comb-over, putting every effort into churning out original numbers while keeping the beat.

“I’m always writing songs,” says DeLong, whose debut album, Just Movement, drops today. Makes sense, since he constantly rocked out in bands back in high school. Now he’s signed to Glassnote, label to the likes of Phoenix and Mumford & Sons.

Recently, DeLong released a video to accompany his catchy track “Global Concepts.” The visual rendition of this f-bomb laden rhythmic ditty features a foggy interior, warehouse-like, smoke somewhat obscuring the agile dancers in the background. Tube lights suspended from above flicker and flash whilst DeLong engages in various aspects of performing, most notably wandering around and gesticulating with Wiimote or drumsticks in hand, or hitting his steel drum to excellent tribal effect as he marches subtly in place. Towards the end, the space is overrun with revelers, morphing into an all-out party you wish you’d been invited to. (The platinum blonde mop you may glimpse amid the shadows belongs to talented dancer James Koroni, the individual responsible for my introduction to and fast fandom of DeLong.)

Another nuance unique to DeLong is his affinity for orange, which he wears with pride in the shape of an “x,” big and bold on a classic black tee, as well as painted with precision on his cheekbone in the shape of a lightening bolt. More on this defining aesthetic to follow.

New Yorkers can catch DeLong in action on February 15 when, as part of a greater tour, he plays The Studio at Webster Hall. Festivalgoers will have several opportunities to indulge as well, from SXSW to Coachella, Ultra to Governors Ball.

Not long ago I sat down with the confident up-and-comer at The Commons Chelsea, one of my favorite neighborhood haunts, where over iced tea we discussed the multi-instrumentalist’s inspiration, interest in hacking HIDs, and what it all means.

What’s it like being dubbed a Young Artist to Watch?
It’s great. I grew up watching MTV, so it’s cool. Wild ride. Exciting. Surreal.

How have people reacted? Any super fans?
Nothing too weird so far. But, it’s definitely getting weirder. After the video came out, all of a sudden friends from high school started reaching out, sending messages. It’s fun to hear from people I haven’t heard from in years. But, it’s just funny.

I bet. Did you always know you were going to go into music?
Near the end of high school I knew I was going to do music. I started out thinking I was going to be in science or something. But, I was better at [music]. I think people knew I was a musician, but I don’t know if people knew I was into electronic music and that I was going to go that route.

What would you be doing if not this?
Since college, all of my jobs have been music related. I taught drum lessons, so that was my thing. If it wasn’t music at all, I guess I’d be going to school.

To become a scientist.
Yeah, I guess. [Laughs]

So, tell me more about this Wiimote rewiring…
You can hack [a] human interface device, anything from Gamepads to Joysticks, and turn it into a MIDI. Basically, the idea is you’re just sending information to a computer and can turn it into whatever you want. It’s the same thing as having a knob, slider, drum pad. It’s all the same if you can hack it and make it work for you. I found out you could do it, it seemed interesting and it’s cheaper than buying a bunch of expensive musical equipment. And it’s fun, people like it.

How many instruments do you have up onstage with you?
Three different electronic things, two computers, game pad, Joystick, Wiimote, six pieces of percussion, drum set, keyboard. Like, 15-20 things. Sometimes I’ll have a guitar. Oh, and two microphones.

Wow. That’s a lot for one guy to keep track of. So, are all your shows like the last time you performed in New York? No pauses between songs, stuff like that?
The show is always continuous and flows together. When I do a longer set, there’s more drumming. I play guitar sometimes, too. It’s high-paced. Jumping around doing a lot of different things.

I’m getting that vibe. You sampled Moby when you last played live in NYC. Have you been a long time fan of his?
When his album Play came out, I was probably, like, 12. That was when I first started experimenting with making electronic music, because it was kind of accessible, mainstream electronic music for the time. It was kind of something I grew up with.

Aww, an audible homage. Thoughts on our fair city?
I love this city, but Manhattan is a little terrifying. And it’s a little colder here. Do prefer the warm. Other than that, it’s beautiful. It’s awesome. Good people.

Who else besides Moby inspired or inspires you?
The songs on the album especially are an amalgamation of a lot of songs over the last four years, so it’s a wide variety of things. I grew up in Seattle, so there’s the whole indie singer-songwriter vibe that I kind of grew up with, like Death Cab for Cutie, The Postal Service, Modest Mouse. I think you can hear that whole Seattle sound in the way I write melodies. As far as things I’m listening to a lot right now, I’m listening to Lucy and Sports. I also grew up listening to a lot of Beatles, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Talking Heads. Those are some of my constant jams.

Can you tell me what inspired the lyrics behind “Just Movement”?
“Just Movement,” the first track, is sort of the thesis statement for the album. It was written right after college, a time of mental exploring. Just movement: the idea that, if you take this reductionist perspective, everything we do is just atoms moving around. It’s all meaningless. But, once you break it down, where do you go from there? Just movement, the double entendre. Dancing, philosophy. Take it or leave it.

Have you yourself always been into dancing? I’m thinking, too, of “Global Concepts”…
I go out dancing a lot. Do a lot of jumping around on stage. I think that’s an awesome thing. It’s the oldest response to music that human beings had, so it only makes sense to think about that. For a long time I was in the indie scene and no one dances. Everyone looks at their feet.

[Laughs] Shoegaze. How would you describe the music scene in L.A.?
It’s actually pretty cool. There’s definitely a burgeoning DIY electronic scene in Los Angeles. L.A.’s big. There’s always something happening. You can always see new music. It’s good stuff.

So, how did the face painting start?
The whole thing was a group of me and my friends called the Tribe of Orphans, a bunch of people who hang out and go to dance events and stuff. It kind of just evolved over time. My girlfriend Heidi face paint[s] at shows.

So she’s your professional face painter. Does she paint in real life?
Besides face painting she does studio painting and stuff, so it’s great.

Why orange?
Initially? That’s the color paint that shows up the best under black light. It glows the brightest.

Has anyone ever said something to you about your “x” symbol? How it very much resembles the “x” symbol of The xx?
Yeah, people have said that before.

Does it piss you off?
It does a little bit. It doesn’t really. I didn’t even know about them, that that was their symbol. The “x” just was kind of an organic development. My girlfriend had painted it on my headphones probably three years ago or something, so it was before that first The xx album came out. It was just kind of a simultaneous [thing]. We both did it. And then they became famous first. It’s just an “x.” It is what it is.

Emblem wars aside, what’s the greatest challenge of all this?
I think the greatest challenge is to not get sick all the time from running around. But, I have a lot of energy and this is what I wanted to do, so it’s all working out. So far. I get to do what I love. I love playing shows. That’s what it’s all about.

Photo by Miles Pettengell

The Best Blog Posts of Twitter Reactions to the Super Bowl Blackout

Did you watch last night’s Beyoncé concert? I did! And then I went to sleep because, woo boy, watching that halftime show was exhausting! (How about that Michelle, huh? Poor Michelle.) Luckily, I didn’t have to work during the game (meaning, I didn’t have to update this website, because ewww sports), so I knew I wasn’t going to miss anything. It turns out I missed a lot! Thirty-four dramatic minutes of no football! It sounds intense. Luckily, lots of other bloggers put together lists upon lists of the best tweets that happened during the power outage at the Super Dome last night. Here’s the best of the best Twitter list posts for you to check out.

Funniest Super Bowl power outage tweets [EW]

Top 10 Twitter Reactions to the #SuperBowlBlackout [The Celebrity Cafe]

Celebs React to Super Bowl Blackout [Gossip Cop]

The Great Super Bowl Blackout relived in tweets [WaPo]

Super Bowl Blackout: Best Tweets From the Delay [The Hollywood Gossip]

The funniest tweets of the #Blackout, er, Super Bowl [CNN]

The Funniest Tweets Of The Great Super Bowl Blackout [Buzzfeed]

Super Bowl 2013 Power Outage Sparks Hilarious Twitter Response [Bleacher Report]

Twitter suspects Beyoncé fierceness caused Super Bowl blackout [Salon]

Top 10 Tweets: Super Bowl Blackout [WTOP]

Super Bowl Power Outage: Social Media Reacts to Blackout [ABC]

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Even Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Has an Opinion About Lena Dunham and ‘Girls’

It’s a pretty easy joke to make: anyone with an opinion and an internet connection has found the time to write a thing or two about Girls. And it’s not even a joke anymore: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, NBA Hall of Famer, has an opinion about Girls. Because of course he fucking does.

In a Huffington Post article, Abdul-Jabbar rips the show a new one.

We’re supposed to find these girls somehow charming because of their flawed characters. Their intense self-involvement is meant to be cute and it can be… at times. But not enough to overcome our impatience with their inability to have any personal insight. They’re all educated but fatally ignorant.

This isn’t all Girls fault. It’s unfair to put so much of a burden on what is basically a standard sitcom. Some of the fault lies with the audience’s desperation for a generational voice that they turn to a sitcom to express it rather than great literature. Filmmaker and short story writer (and Dunham fan) Miranda July is more accurately a voice of a generation adrift in the rough waters of Great Expectations and a Great Recession.

When it takes itself seriously is when it stumbles. I just wish it would express its seriousness by being funnier. Seinfeld made it a point to ridicule the characters’ shallowness and self-involvement, raising it to a level of social commentary. And it was funny. Two other girl-centric shows that reached these same heights to be voices of a generation were My So-Called Life and Wonderfalls. Both funny, yet also insightful and original. Perhaps that’s why they both only lasted one season before becoming cut hits. Girls, a safer more mousy voice, is already been renewed for a third season.

THANK GOD SOMEONE FINALLY SAID SOMETHING.

But seriously, there are a couple of things to take away from this piece:

  • Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is one of the thirty or so people who watched Wonderfalls

Oh, wait, that’s really the only interesting thing here. That and Abdul-Jabbar’s suggestion that "a black dildo" would have been a cheaper way of bringing up the meta-discussion about race rather than hiring Donald Glover to play a character on the show. Tell that to the unions! Now, Huffington Post, can you open up your blog space for some actual cultural critics to share some insight instead of getting a famous person to nonsensically rehash stuff that has been written literally everyone else? 

Now, when will Lena Dunham get that Deadspin byline?

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