Spoiler Alert: ‘Portlandia’ Season Three Trailer Ruins It All For You

Is it Friday yet? Portlandia returns with a third season on IFC, and, HOW TIMELY, today they’ve released a hilarious sketch to preview what’s in store for this year. I think you’ll all enjoy this one, because the thing about it is that it’s SO TRUE that it in turn is SO FUNNY. Television! Who can even deal with it anymore, much less talking about it! Let’s add spoilers to the list of major indignities, somewhere between blog slideshow posts and Mason Jar revivalism. How can we possibly go on?!

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Twist and Shout

Dr. Malcolm Crowe is a ghost, Tracy Mills’ head is in the box, Tyler Durden is not real, and Verbal Kint is Keyser Söze. There—twist endings to four major films, revealed. Those films (which are, in order, Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Nativity Story, Hook, and Bowling for Columbine) have now been spoiled for you, hence the term spoiler, used in the film and television world to describe that tidbit of info consumed before the production is even viewed.

EW.com has published an investigative foray into the nature of spoilers, how they’ve changed the biz, and why people are dying to know the color of Indy’s shoelaces, three years before the film is released. Even today’s movie trailers are spoiler-heavy. We remember seeing a preview of Superman Returns while watching the Super Bowl a few years ago, when suddenly they show the Man of Steel take flight. We were all, thanks for ruining the surprise!