Tonight: Maxim’s ‘World’s Most Beautiful Women’ Party, Domi Dollz’ ‘Shades of Kink’

If Maxim has decided to throw a party for the WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. who am I to argue. They have named the HOT 100 and made a list and I checked it (twice). Some actual top 100s are going to be at this event being held tonight at The Gallery at Dream Downtown hotel, 355 West 16th Street. The music will be brought to you by DJ Vice, underlying that this is a big event – a hot event. Among the attendees is the number one hottest girl in the world from their list (my list has Amanda at the very top): Bar Refaeli. Others who you can strike out with include: Abby Elliot (Saturday Night Live), April Rose (model), Bria Murphy (model), Claire Coffee (General Hospital), Jessica Rafalowski (model), Jenny “JWOWW” Farley (MTV’s The Jersey Shore), Katrina Bowden (30 Rock), Nadia G (TV personality), Rebecca Mader (actress), and many more. This list thing is 12 years young and for the first time ever, the Maxim readers made the selection. What to wear?

Some prophet once said beauty is "in the eye of the beholder" and another said "beauty is only skin deep.” This beholder’s eyes think beauty must have skin covered with tattoos. For me, it don’t mean thing if it don’t have that sting. So I’m sure to find hottie heaven at the 6th Annual NYC Zombie Crawl in my native Williamsburg, Brooklyn this Sunday. It’s presented by the new Resident Evil video game and the BBURG requisite Sailor Jerry Rum and Pabst Blue Ribbon. People will be running around in Halloween in May gear with the grand finale at Public Assembly, 70 North 6th Street, where the girls of burningangel.com will offer up Strip for Pain "America’s Most Dangerous Game Show.” For me, this trumps Maxim’s hot list, but I can appreciate both sides of the coin… even it’s an edge.

Public Assembly will hold live performances by Bikini Carwash (9pm) and Fucking Bullshit (9:45pm). There will be a Rigor Mortis Burlesque Revue, prizes for the best costumes…well, you get the idea. The Zombie Crawl begins at 3:30pm at The Trash Bar, 256 Grand Street, where makeup technicians will, for a small fee ($5), make you look undead. At 3:30 pm on a Sunday in Williamsburg, everyone looks a little undead anyway. Then it’s on to The Grand Victory, 245 Grand Street, where additional Zombie action will be rampant. By 6pm it’s a march down Bedford Avenue, where all will pop into Spike Hill, 186 Bedford, for "flesh hook" performances by Nassau Chainsaw DisGraCeLand Demolition Committee. All will gather after in McCarren Park for photo-ops and a chance to confuse the tourists and nouveau hipsters who discovered Williamsburg by watching HBO’s epic series Girls.

If the Sailor Jerry Rum and PBR’s haven’t gotten the best of me and mine, we’ll head to Bowery Poetry Club, 306 Bowery at Houston, to take in Linda Simpson’s new party "Exhibit A,” Sunday at 10pm, $5.

Exhibit A promises to take "the spectator on an absurd and erotic journey.” That sounds a lot like my third marriage, so I’m there. This is a last-Sunday-of-every- month affair, which sounds like my second marriage. On stage, there will be experimental drag rules, high-concept hostess Sylvia London, sexual outlaw Alexis Blair Penney, and non-stop butch and femme orgy by Dollhaus and Dj Chris P.

Tonight, (and I have told you about this before; pay attention or a spanking may be in order), Domi Dollz presents “Shades of Kink” at – where else – the Museum of Sex, 233 5th Avenue at 27th Street. This event will show you the ropes and other ways to spice up your love life. It’s a perfect place for a couple looking for answers to all the wrong questions and for singles looking for Mr. or Ms. right or wrong. If you have been looking for love in all the wrong places, then this place is perfect for you. It is way wrong – and right.

Getting Drunk With Santa

It’s that time of year again—no, not Christmas, but Santacon. This is when hundreds upon hundreds of people dressed like elves, Mrs. Claus, reindeer, and the big man himself take over Manhattan in a drunken display of holiday cheer.

Care to join in the mayhem? Well, grab a red hat, stripy socks, and a hip flask, and pick up some canned food to donate, then head to Pier 84 at 10am on Saturday. From there, you go to zone one, aka Santa’s Clubland, which includes Pacha, Stage 48, Hudson Terrace, and Southern Hospitality, among others (for a complete map go here).

Zone two, also dubbed “Santa Delights Tourists in Midtown,” where, aside from frolicking in Grand Central Station, you can take advantage of Santacon specials at Rattle n Hum, Brother Jimmy’s, Rick’s Cabaret, and more. Zone three takes you downtown to drink around Union Square, Tompkins Square Park, and St. Marks Church. If your flask runs dry, hit up Double Down Saloon, Doc Holiday’s, and Village Pourhouse, all which serve as canned food drop locations as well.

By 7pm, only the strongest will survive, and that means Santas across the city start heading to Brooklyn. There, merriment continues at Spike Hill, Radegast Hall & Biergarten, and at The Warsaw, where the after party continues until at least 1am. Finally, for you Scrooges out there that want to celebrate without a bevy of red suited frat boys, 508 Gastrobrewery is serving up a special Humbug Nog, a cocktail made with eggnog, vodka, Bailey’s and the pub’s own Mint Stout.

Three Bands Not to Miss at CMJ

CMJ is a big festival featuring many, many bands. It’s easy to get overwhelmed. And sure, you can always just go see the hyped and often overhyped bands you’ve already heard of like Deerhunter and My Morning Jacket. But CMJ is really about exposing up-and-comers to the world, and allowing them to rock it. In that spirit I recommend three under the radar bands who are definitely worth your time.

Hooray For Earth

Brooklyn’s Hooray for Earth remind me a lot of Yeasayer, what with their electro-tribal pounding rhythms, hippy-meets-hipster environmental concerns, and ultimate danceability. But there’s something a little more rugged about these East Coasters, a bit of lo-fi fuzz and squeal that separates them from the current batch of 80’s appropriators. Plus, their songs are catchy as hell. Check out their new single on “True Loves” on Pitchfork, head over to the band’s Myspace to stream my favorites, “Surrounded by Your Friends” and “Comfortable, Comparable,” and watch the video below. Hooray for Earth play Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday at locations around the city, including the Johnny Leather/NYPRess party at Williamsburg’s Spike Hill on Wednesday the 20th.

Zambri

Zambri is a band featuring hot, gothy sisters who sing like wrist-cutting, trance-inducing pop sirens, vocals soaring over poly-rhythms, horror film sound effects, and mean guitar. Their latest single, “Carry,” features Jon Philpot from Bear in Heaven, and is and absolute brain-ripper. Check out the video below for a taste of the Zambri live experience, then see them next Tuesday at Delancey or Saturday the 23rd at Fat Baby.

Miracles of Modern Science

All you need to know about The Miracles of Modern Science is that they are a psych rock band who play amplified, traditional classical and bluegrass acoustic instruments and wear space suits onstage. Which means you love them or hate them before even listening to their music. Which is a shame, because gimmickry aside, their music is really good. Think Bowie meets Andrew Bird meets Sun Ra meets a ho down. Think awesome. Download some free tracks, watch the video below, and see them next week with Zambri at Fat Baby, or else Thursday afternoon at Bar Matchless in Greenpoint.