Bar Mitzvah Save-the-Date Videos Are a Thing Now

When I was in high school, this girl who lived a couple towns over earned local (and regional) notoriety by having a “Save the Date” website for her bat mitzvah (called JessiesBatMitzvah.com), featuring an ill-advised music video of her perpetuating all the stereotypes and singing along to Gwen Stefani’s Fiddler on the Roof-butchering single, “Rich Girl.” We thought ridiculous and stereotype-enforcing bar and bat mitzvah excess had ended with JessiesBatMitzvah.com, but this week, the Internet reached peak bar mitzvah ridiculousness, and I can hear the “oy veys” of my elders now as I watch it.

Meet Daniel. Daniel is from Atlanta, and he won’t let you forget it. And in May, he will be called to the Torah and become a man in the eyes of his faith. Which makes now the perfect time to make an elaborate, ridiculous promotional video. Daniel raps to Jermaine Dupri’s “Welcome to Atlanta,” but changes the lyrics to be about his big day, all the while visiting different ATL landmarks (the Georgia Aquarium, Turner Field, CNN) and hanging out with Special Guest Stars like Ne-Yo, Charles Barkley and Atlanta mayor Kasim Reed. I have a lot of questions about this, the least of which are how much did it cost, how many favors had to be called in and why would this be the logical conclusion of how to mark a pretty serious religious occasion and a young man’s acceptance of responsibilities in his faith? He’d better have a pretty solid mitzvah project and a kickass d’var torah to back this up. Oh well. We’ll see what happens when the little broseph tries to join AEPi at Emory and his prospective brothers find this in the depths of the Internet.

[via Tablet]

Shaq Partners With C by Courvoisier For His All-Star Comedy Jam

Shaquille O’Neal was one of the most dominant centers to ever play in the NBA, with multiple championships and awards under his belt, but he’s also a genuinely funny guy. From his entertaining Twitter feed to his endlessly quotable interviews (“My game’s like the Pythagorean Theorem. It ain’t got no answer.”), the guy knows humor, so it’s no suprise that he’s teaming up with a handful of professional comedians for Shaquille O’Neal’s All-Star Comedy Jam 2012, which will be touring the country this spring – including a handful of dates in Orlando for NBA All-Star Weekend February 23-25. He’s also partnering with C by Courvoisier, the newest expression from the French cognac house, which will be sponsoring the tour. Shaq and I don’t have too much in common, but since we both like C by Courvoisier, I’ll share my thoughts on it, and we’ll see if he agrees. 

I received a bottle a couple of weeks ago, before I even knew that Shaq was involved, and gave it a proper tasting, which to me involves swirling, sniffing, sipping, swishing, and swallowing, while thinking deep thoughts and taking copious notes. Like many of the new cognacs on the market, C by Courvoisier – which is aged in oak barrels – is made for mixing in cocktails, but it’s nice on its own as well, which is how I sampled it first. My findings? It’s a crisp and refreshing drink with pronounced fruit flavors. I tasted apricot, pear, and peach, along with notes of caramel and vanilla. Overall, it’s tasty, smooth, and not overly sweet, and has a very pleasant mouthfeel. 

As for mixing it in a cocktail, I didn’t go too crazy, simply adding some of my new favorite mixer, Q Ginger (an all-natural ginger ale), into a cocktail I’m calling the C&Q. Apparently that’s enough to make me a mixological genius, because I found the C&Q  to be a delightful marriage of flavors. It’s definitely on the dry side, the way I like it, and there’s a lot going on in the glass to think about and enjoy. The grapes, ginger, and oak all play nicely together, just like Shaq and, well, never mind. 

So, check out Shaq’s All-Star Comedy Jam and pick up a bottle of C by Courvoisier if you’re into cognac, or cocktails, or just feel like trying something new. Drink delicious drinks and laugh at funny jokes. Life is good. 

C by Courvoisier costs about $35 a bottle and is available at better liquor stores and wine shops across the nation. 

Cavaliers Fans Synchronize Taunts for Lebron’s Homecoming

Lebron James will return to Cleveland tonight to face his former team of seven years. And there are absolutely no false pretenses that, excuse our French, shit won’t get rowdy. Cavaliers fans are already warming up their vocal chords to give him a raucous welcome home, and NBA officials have amped up security in the Quicken Loans Arena in anticipation of the game. This summer, when James made the decision to take up residence in South Beach with the Miami Heat, he watched Cleveland fans send his number 23 jersey up in flames, and read Cavaliers owner Dan Gibert’s infamous Comic Sans letter, which accused him of “cowardly betrayal.” Gilbert claims he’s since moved beyond the shock, and is now encouraging Cleveland fans to be classy during tonight’s game, but who does he think he’s kidding? Dedicated Cavs fans have created a detailed chant sheet, which they will distribute prior to the game, in an attempt to synchronize the taunts that will fly Lebron’s way tonight.

His return to Cleveland comes on the heels of the Cav’s current five-game losing streak, the most recent of which was Tuesday night’s 106-87 loss to the Boston Celtics. Before the game, James’ former teammate, Shaquille O’Neal, announced that he would take bets on whether or not Bron Bron would be brave enough to unleash his trademark talcum powder cloud before Thursday night’s game. “I’m anxious to see him do the powder thing,” he said. “We have bets he won’t do it.”

Shaq might want to amend his bet by 8pm, because James has confirmed that he will bravely keep the tradition alive tonight. After admitting that the game will be “difficult” and “emotionally draining,” Lebron says that he will still have fun, and looks forward to seeing his jersey hanging from the rafters in the Quicken Loans Arena one day. That might take awhile, but for tonight, just in case he loses his spine, his Miami Heat teammate Dwyane Wade will take care of the powder theatrics. “He’s done it for every game he’s played so why change for just one game?” Wade said. “If he doesn’t throw it up, I’ll throw it up for him.”