Today in Celeb Sex Tapes: Minka Kelly

Minka Kelly, who is someone I have never heard of (I still haven’t watched Friday Night Lights, SORRY. While we’re on the subject, don’t ruin Battlestar Gallactica for me since I plan on catching up on that in, oh, ten years or so. Seriously, I’m still on Season Five of Cheers), apparently has a sex tape. This is big news for fans of nude celebrities and underage girls as, supposedly, the video was filmed just shy of Kelly’s 18th birthday.

TMZ, those sex-tape experts, claim that the video is 30 minutes long and "is shot in a semi-professional manner. The camera is secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera." Kelly’s ex-boyfriend is the one who’s currently shopping around the video, which also features the actress dancing and singing along to two songs from Brandy’s 1998 album Never Say Never, which, if you do the math (I did not), was released just sixteen days before Kelly’s 18th’s birthday.

First of all: don’t make a sex tape. See? Problem solved! Now, if you’re a Brandy super-fan like Kelly was supposedly, maaaaybe you might think it a good idea to get all crazy down in New Mexico with your potentially shitty boyfriend and make what sounds like the most boring underage porn ever. Although, honestly, how fishy does all of this sound? Do you think this is some viral marketing campaign for Minka Kelly who, as far as I’m concerned, just looks like a poor man’s Leighton Meester? Or perhaps it was just a slow-burn attempt to get us all talking about Brany again, in which case: mission accomplished.