Celebrity Couples That We Wish Would Rekindle the Flame

Photo: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com 

It isn’t you, its me. Surely the couples in this category got their agents to whip up something a little more endearing to say. The truth is, breakups happen, but it so happens that these particular ones shouldn’t have.

1. Heidi Klum and Seal Mark-WoodworthPhoto: Mark Woodworth/BFAnyc.com 

These two were together and married ages ago (The ’90s) and we wish we could #ThrowbackThursday their relationship solely for that fact that she has the body of an angel and he has the voice of an one. It also wouldn’t hurt if they could make some more beautiful babies.

2. Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron Screen-Shot-2014-10-15-at-10.32.18-PMPhotos: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com & Matteo Prandoni/BFAnyc.com

Zac and Vanessa’s on-screen romance played out before our eyes in the wildly popular Disney movie series “High School Musical.” Hoping for these two to get back together is like hoping for Hilary Duff and Aaron Carter to get back together and that (thankfully) is not going to happen. But Zanessa will forever hold a place in our nostalgic hearts of couples that failed.

3. Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit celebrating ALEXANDER MCQUEEN: Savage Beauty Exhibition - InsidePhoto: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com

Miranda Kerr is a supermodel and Orlando Bloom is a movie star, these two were destined to find their way together at some point, and when they did the goddesses above were cheering. Unfortunately, these two are no longer. Yes, a hard pill to swallow. Orlando, stop throwing punches at Justin Bieber and start sending love letters to your ex!

4. Jennifer Lopez and P. Diddy Screen Shot 2014-10-15 at 10.32.52 PMPhotos: David X Prutting/BFAnyc.com & Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com 

Jenny from the block has been around the block a couple times. Jennifer Lopez has had more men than she can count on her freshly manicured hand. One man that stood out (and stood taller than Marc Anthony) was none other than hip hop royal P. Diddy. Puffy is more of man than any Casper Smart could be, and will protect his girl ’til the end. It’s time for J. Lo to change “I luh ya papi” to “I luh ya Puffy.”

5. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe Screen Shot 2014-10-15 at 10.34.25 PMPhotos: Joe Schildhorn/BFAnyc.com & Matteo Prandoni/BFAnyc.com 

We selfishly want to see these two get back together solely for that fact that we want to rewrite the ending of “Cruel Intentions” in real life. It would go a little something along the lines of Reese and Ryan marrying, having kids, and residing in a fabulous apartment on the Upper East Side.

Seal Wishes Heidi Klum Wouldn’t “Fornicate With The Help”

Oh! That’s awkward! TMZ video cameras prevailed upon Seal to discuss his impending divorce with Heidi Klum. Seal, it turns out, was all too happy to talk about how he wishes Heidi would not "fornicate with the help." 

A little background: Heidi and Seal always made a huge showy deal of their love by repeatedly renewing their vows in elaborate ceremonies. So when they separated in January, everyone scratched their heads. Rumors circulated that Heidi was now rebounding with her bodyguard. Yesterday a paparazzo asked Seal how he felt about Heidi and the bodyguard and he didn’t hold back — seemingly indicating that Heidi cheating on him with her bodyguard prior to the separation:

 

Look, boys, that’s what happens when two people separate, they move on and that generally means other people in their lives. I certainly don’t expect Heidi to become a nun. But as always my main priority is the emotional wellbeing of our children and to be quite honest if there is going to be somebody else in their lives, I’d much rather it be a familiar face. I guess the only thing I would have preferred — while I would have not expected any better from him, I would have thought Heidi shown a little bit more class and at least waited until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help, as it were. But I guess you all now have the answer you’ve been looking for for the past seven months.

Spiteful! I love it. However the phrase "fornicate with the help" really does sound like someone has been watching Downton Abbey.

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr.

Afternoon Links: Obama Is Hawking Ringtones Now, Whitney Houston Is “Broke As a Joke”

● Barack Obama’s most charming Al Green tribute is now available as a ringtone on his official site. Come November, it will be much more instyle than the "Born To Die" ringtone you’ve got now. [RS]

● Making the most of her recent relocation, Khloé Kardashian Odom has signed up to host a weekly radio show on Dallas’s MIX 102.9. [E!]

● In need of a Radiohead fix? Thom Yorke mentioned on his blog this morning that the band has contributed 14 songs from their back catalog to a documentary film about the President of the Maldives called The Island President. [Pitchfork]

● Whitney Houston is "broke as a joke," according to someone from whom she may have asked to borrow $100. "She might be homeless if not for people saving her." [Radar]

● Seal says he has no intention of taking of his wedding ring anytime soon after having spent "eight wonderful years" with "the most wonderful woman in the world." [Page Six]

Heidi Klum & Seal Set to Divorce

Horrors! The A-list watching world has been rocked. Heidi Klum and Seal are dunzo. They were married six whole years, which in the Kardashian-esque time warp that celebrity marriage vows are measured in is equivalent to a millennium.  You can almost hear the echoes of ‘How could this be?’ ring out from tabloid offices and supermarket aisles into the empty, hollow, loveless air.

The couple, who renew their wedding vows yearly with wacky themes like trailer park or masquerade, are expected to officially filed divorce papers in L.A. County Superior Court next week with Heidi citing ‘irreconcilable differences,’ reports TMZ.  One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.

Who will Heidi partner with for her Halloween costumes?  Will Seal resume some semblance of a career?  And lastly, what about their 4 kids (3 biological, one adopted by Seal from Heidi’s previous relationship)?

Cue "Kiss from a Rose" and ponder the sad fact that all flowers must wilt or you know, just use this as an excuse to dig out your old CD collection because it’s actually a pretty decent song. 

Links: Kevin Federline Got Sad and Fat; Greg Oden is Naked and Sexting

● Kevin Federline said depression led to him overeating, but what he really meant is that Britney used to eat all the Cheetos. [People] ● Kiefer Sutherland lost $869,000, or thirteen minutes’ salary on 24, in a cattle-selling scam. Yes, you read that correctly. Cattle-selling. [LAT] ● Are those 44 lizards in your pants or are you just happy to see me? [SF Gate]

● Male athletes, like the 7-foot basketball star Greg Oden, keep leaking pictures of their penises. [Deadspin] ● According to a new book, Pope John Paul II would often flagellate himself to imitate Christ’s pain, just like the one guy in that book about the Jesus puzzles. [NYT] ● Jon Hamm shaved his much-fussed-over beard prior to his forthcoming appearance on Saturday Night Live, leaving 1,063 women to search eBay for “Jon Hamm face hair.” [ONTD] ● Bob Dylan and Seal will play at the White House in celebration of the Civil Rights Movement, because one is white and one is black. [NPR]

Links: Angelina Jolie Goes Dark, ‘Gossip Girl’ Spinoff Still Kicking

● Mischa Barton side career as a headband designer has launched; the craft headbands go for $50-$200. [luxist] ● Paris Hilton reveals that her worst day was not in jail, or when her sex tape was released, but rather when she lost her Chihuahua Tinkerbell. [entertainment.sg] ● Has Angelina Jolie gone back to the dark side? Crew on the set of her new film fear she’s harming herself, not eating, and crying every day in her trailer. [showbizspy]

● Some police in Boston are using their access to peek into the personal records of stars like James Taylor, Matt Damon, and Tom Brady (whose records have been accessed 968 times). [Boston] ● Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their vows in “tacky chic” wedding on the Malibu shore. Seal wore a mullet wig, while his bride rocked cornrows. [People] ● The Gossip Girl spin-off set in the 80s may not be dead after all; the CW won’t be making any scheduling decisions till next week. [Zap2It]

Links: No Direction for Scarlett Johansson, Katy Perry’s Swine Flu Swag

● Scarlett Johansson’s directorial debut in the vignette series “I Love New York” has been cut for what producers say are “creative difference.” [E!] ● Swine flu has stopped Heidi Klum and Seal’s renewal of their vows; the couple were married five years ago at their Mexican vacation home and hoped to duplicate the ceremony. I hear you can get a good deal in Vegas now. [LAT] ● Dennis Rodman is entering outpatient rehab so he doesn’t have to miss the Celebrity Apprentice reunion show. Why not just wait for the next season of Celebrity Rehab? [E!]

● Beyonce is set to expand her Eartha Kitt role from Cadillac Records into a full-length biopic. [TeenHollywood] ● Katy Perry has gifted herself a blinged-out pig ring to memorialize the swine flu hysteria. [Showbizspy] ● Jessica Simpson’s singing and acting career may be on the skids, but at least there’s clothing. Simpson is set to expand her fashion “empire” with a lingerie line. [PopCrunch]

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