10 Unforgettable Met Gala Moments Throughout the Years

Cher at the 1974 Met Gala in custom Bob Mackie; photo courtesy Ron Galella/WireImage

 

Today is the Met Gala — but you already knew that. With this year’s theme as “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination,” we’re anticipating a lot of vintage McQueen, probably some Gaultier, and of course, a hell of a lot of Dolce & Gabbana.

So, to prepare, we’ve put together a list of of the 10 most memorable past Met Gala moments.

 

Rihanna in Guo Pei

 

photo courtesy of Getty Images

 

You can’t have a Met Gala roundup without mentioning Rihanna’s infamous dress from 2015. That year, the theme was “China: Through the Looking Glass,” and Rih chose Chinese designer Guo Pei for her look. The handmade gown took over 2 years for the designer to make and instantly made her go viral. In fact, there’s currently a new documentary that highlights Pei’s impressive career.

 

Rihanna, again, in Comme des Garçons

 

photo courtesy of Getty Images
Queen Rih also made the list because of her Comme des Garçons F/W ’16 look for the Met Gala last year. The theme actually was Comme des Garçons and Rih was one of the only people who actually wore something by Kawakubo — partly, I think, because she’s one of the only people who could really pull it off.

 

Cher in Bob Mackie

 

photo courtesy of WireImage

 

Cher always looks iconic. But it was this custom Bob Mackie gown at the third annnual Met Ball, that set the tone for it to be one of the most fashionable nights of the year. The theme was “Romantic and Glamorous Hollywood Design,” so the singer essentially could’ve shown up naked and — oh wait, she basically did.

 

Katy Perry in Maison Martin Margiela

 

photo courtesy of Margiela
Who could forget Katy Perry’s look from last year’s Met Gala? I know she can’t, because she still talks about how hard it was for her to pee. But beauty is pain, ladies and gentlemen — especially in custom Maison Martin Margiela (that looked suspiciously like Givenchy F/W ’17).

 

Sarah Jessica Parker in Alexander McQueen

 

photo courtesy of Vogue

 

“Anglomania” was the theme in 2006, and Sarah Jessica Parker went full on with the plaid, natch. On the arm of Alexander McQueen, the duo wore custom “Anarchy in the U.K.”-inspired looks by the designer, himself.

 

Lil Kim in god knows what

 

photo courtesy of WireImage

 

No one ever really knows what Lil Kim is wearing, and the 1999 Met Gala was no exception. The Hard Core rapper opted for a pink fur trench, pink snakeskin boots and a pink bikini — and no, the theme was not “pink.”

 

Kate Moss in custom Marc Jacobs and a Stephen Jones turban

 

photo courtesy of Getty Images

 

In 2009, Kate Moss looked the total part for the Met Gala’s “Model As Muse” in a custom Marc Jacobs gold lamé mini, YSL pumps and Stephen Jones turban.

 

Liv Tyler & Stella McCartney in matching halter tops

 

photo courtesy of Mari Sarai/Getty Images

 

Sure, the Met Gala wasn’t as big of a deal fashion-wise in 1999 as it now. But halter tops? Liv Tyler and Stella McCartney, you both know better. Still, the duo really leaned in to the “Rock Style” theme with matching “Rock Royalty” tank tops.

 

Donatella Versace in Versace

 

photo courtesy of Getty Images

 

Donatella’s leather Versace look for the 1996 Met Gala was iconic for a couple of reasons: Sadly, this would be Gianni’s last Gala before his death, but also the debut of his bondage-inspired style that would become a trademark for the legendary brand.

 

Jaden Smith and his ponytail in Louis Vuitton

 

photo courtesy of Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

 

Last but not least, Jaden Smith at last year’s Gala. Yes, the theme was Comme des Garçons, and sure, Rei Kawakubo is known for getting a little avant-garde sometimes. But Jaden Smith took things to a whole different level when he showed up on the red carpet in head-to-toe Louis Vuitton, carrying his recently cut dread locks.

 

Fingers crossed he — and everyone else — leaves the gross accessories at home tonight. Though, the theme is Catholicism, so I’m guessing this year’s top trapping will be guilt.

 

BlackBook Interview: Sarah Jessica Parker on Marriage, Divorce & How She Still Relates to Carrie Bradshaw

 

Sarah Jessica Parker is the reigning queen of HBO, and has been since she first captivated audiences with her globally-beloved role as Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City – which first aired in 1998 (20 years ago!), and picked up a total of 54 Emmy nominations. It won 7, including the 2004 Best Actress in a Comedy Series for SJP. She also won four Golden Globes and three Screen Actors’ Guild Awards for the role.

Over a decade after Sex and the City concluded, Parker is back with another HBO series, Divorce, (now on its second season) which takes a decidedly more somber tone on the subject of relationships. With a stellar cast that includes Thomas Hayden Church and Molly Shannon, it is a dark, unflinching look at the state of the modern American marriage – which is exactly what Parker set out to portray when she began to develop the show, via her Pretty Matches production company.

We sat down with the certified icon to talk about making Divorce, if her own marriage played a factor in how she handled the new role, and what it’s like to date in the digital age.

 

 

 

How did you and your production company, Pretty Matches, chose Divorce over any other projects you had in the works? 

I had an idea that I wanted to develop a show about an American marriage. We worked on it for about four years to arrive at the pilot episode, for the first season. I think I was particularly interested not because of my own marriage, but rather what I was seeing around me: family, friends, relations, people I didn’t know, who were attempting divorce. Most people aren’t good at it, most people only do it once; and it is for many devastating, for others triumphant. It can be the undoing, it can be devastating for children, and there’s much about it that I think we haven’t really looked at in the tone which I was most curious about. We’ve seen stories of marriage and family, and they are romantic or funny, but the tone I was trying to get to I felt HBO was uniquely qualified for.

This story feels eternal, just because divorce is something that just continues to go on. Can you define the ‘American marriage’ more, in your own words and experience?

I think the marriage, the portrait that was most interesting to me was a marriage that is not unlike many, in which two people come together. They’re products of what looks like, from the outside, successful marriages. They grew up in homes where parents stayed married, the father worked, he pursued the American dream, they had some luck achieving middle class status, and that was for many what a successful, happy, joyful marriage looked like. And I think (Divorce characters) Robert and Frances were products of that ideal and that idea. And it didn’t prove to be the case for them, they weren’t finding contentment in it. Or at least Frances wasn’t. She had given up the things that she was most interested in. She was feeling alone in the marriage; and I felt like that was rich in possibilities. 

Well in Season 2, Frances does online dating.

Briefly, briefly yes.

 

 

My mom wanted me to ask you, because she’s doing some online dating now, if you might have any advice?

I have none. I’ve been married, been with the same person for 25 years. I just played a character who had one scene with online dating. One scene around…was it Tinder I think? 

It was like texting and he gets mad when you don’t respond, which is something my mom has experienced.

Oh, she has? She would be far more equipped to have advice than me. I rarely have advice for people. But what I would say is that I hope she finds somebody wonderful, who is deserving of her time. 

You mentioned your own marriage. Without prodding too deeply, I’m wondering, if you prepared for the role and played the role with your own marriage in mind at all?

Not at all, no. I don’t think it’s necessary to have experiences to play a part. I think as actors, what we’re mostly trying to do is find things that are different, unrelatable, foreign, unfamiliar. No, there was no point of reference in my own marriage. But I didn’t need that to be the case, nor did I need it to play Carrie Bradshaw or any of the characters I’ve played. I think what’s most important are words that feel truthful. That, if they’re telling the story of a real person, I’m well-researched. And at that point, you’re just trying to be an honest presence on screen who’s responding to the people around you. That’s what I most require. Not necessarily any ability to even to sometimes empathize or like what your character is doing.

You talk about how you’re very separate from this character’s life. But I wonder, and I really want to know this about Carrie too – she’s someone I’ve aways been a big fan of – what you do feel like you have in common with Frances and Carrie? If you have anything.

With Frances, I’m a parent. I’m a mother. I’m a working parent, so I understand very much how complicated that is and how hard it is to try to feel like you’re doing right by all parties, all things to all people. I think that is something that I relate to. I think that it is something that I experience. And also, a desire to find meaning in life. Even something as simple as how do you spend your days. What do your hours add up to? That of course is a sentiment, an exercise that I understand. Carrie’s love and affection for New York City. Her friendships, playing such a pivotal and necessary role in her life. Those are certainly things I relate to. And share. 
Images courtesy of HBO

 

Sarah Jessica Parker Will Be the New Face (and Legs) of Jordache

Sarah Jessica Parker for Jordache. Courtesy of Jordache.

Let’s celebrate Sarah Jessica Parker for Jordache with the best Sex and the City denim moments.

Sarah Jessica Parker was just announced as the new face (and legs) of Jordache Jeans. Jordache was the clothier to hug one’s butt in the ’70s and ’80s, and the collection of iconic designs (accompanied by images featuring Sarah Jessica Parker) are available to shop now via e-commerce.


Sarah Jessica Parker for Jordache.
Courtesy of Jordache

SJP in denim got us in the mood for the best denim moments on Sex and the City over the years — considering Pat Field’s extensive wardrobe skills, they’re few and far between, but we found ’em. Scroll on for the five best.

_______

The only time Carrie Bradshaw ever got down in the mud — for Sex and the Country:
Sexandthecountrysatc

_______

“Stonewashed jeans and a matching jacket.”


Sex and the City—Stonewashed jeans with a… by omitsucceed

_______

That Louis Vuitton, though.

_______

“I have to say I’m starting to agree with Charlotte’s way of thinking. If I hadn’t accidentally gotten pregnant by Steve, I never would have had Brady.”
“Aww.”
“I’m not finished. And had no time to eat. So I never would have fit into my skinny jeans and realize this city is full of cute men.” – Miranda, Sex and the City

_______

“My Motherboard, My Self.”

(The bomb — not the good kind.)

960

_______

The 13 Best Red Carpet #Lewks of 2014

Photo Credits: David X Prutting/BFAnyc.com

Red carpet attire has the legendary ability to rocket an emerging starlet to mega-stardom or land her on worst dressed lists and endure public ridicule (though less bitingly than ever before, RIP Joan).

There’s something exciting at any event when stars really dress for the sake of fashion. The red carpet and all its hoopla are easy targets–but for all of the flops and hot messes we see on the red carpet every year, there are countless more bland, boring looks from those who just want to avoid any embarrassment. So I’ve tried to give my attention to the ladies who walked the carpet with gusto and *Fashion*.

Taylor Swift in Gucci Premiere at the Grammys

Ms. Swift had a big year filled with her “good girl gone a little less good”/”country gone pop” rebranding plan. This gown spoke to those goals. There’s a chicness to this Gucci despite the inherent flashiness of the diamonds and sequins and beading that’s a far cry from the princess-y gowns of her past. Instead of looking like a floor-length version of an ice skating costume (which it absolutely could have–especially with the short sleeves and collar) it’s a smart, sexy look that doesn’t go for cheap provocation sometimes found on the Grammys red carpet. Tay is nothing if not savvy, and this look puts her into seriously sophisticated territory and, also notable is the fact that it isn’t a crop top, that barely-there garment she’s since taken a strong liking to, to say the least.

Lupita Nyong’o in Ralph Lauren at the Golden Globes

If the Golden Globe red carpet was the only red carpet Lupita walked this year, she probably still would have emerged the breakout of the awards season. The shoulder-baring cape elevated this very pretty, classic, Ralph Lauren column gown into the higher pantheon of red carpet style. Nyong’o seemingly emerged out of nowhere with the kind of prepossession and poise of an actress with far more industry experience, and sent both the entertainment and fashion sphere into a frenzy. Forgive the clichéd nature of this next statement, but it’s kind of inarguable: a star was born.

Olivia Wilde in Gucci at the Golden Globes

Being pregnant on the red carpet has to be tough. You’re expected to wear high heels and an outfit that features your growing belly. You and your growing belly need to look as healthy and happy as possible, lest you want to have a paparazzi picture of you eating ice cream with the words “DESPERATE AND ALONE” written under your face. In any case, Wilde doesn’t seem too bothered in her long-sleeve Gucci gown. The rich hunter green fabric is almost skintight, but she doesn’t look like a pregnant lady in a gimpsuit or as though she’s stretching the seams within an inch of their life. The beading reflects the flash without looking cheap and embraces the curves that come with, you know, growing a human inside your body.

Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann at the Gotham Awards

Did you hear that Tilda Swinton was named GQ’s Woman of the Year? Did you ever read the incredible Twitter account, @NotTildaSwinton? Sample tweet: “The most delicious meal I’ve ever had?  My first gasp of air upon emerging from the geode my father impregnated.” Swinton has also had a good year. She’s a renowned clotheshorse, a genuine red carpet vanguard who wears haute couture and maintains a strictly individual and often androgynous style. No mere mortal can carry such a complicated garment (note the contrasting textures of the champagne fabrics, or the way the blazer-inspired top melts into the skirt) with such ease. Gaze on.

Kate Hudson in Atelier Versace at the Oscars

If I were a red carpet stylist I would wield whatever influence I had to force as many of my clients to wear capes as possible. (There’s a theme here). Then, if capes had some sort of resurgence I would hire a publicist to link the trend back to me. Versace has created a strong shouldered capelet? sleeveless bolero? variation on a shrug? that complements Hudson’s creamy romantic gown. The cape and shiny beadwork injects some much-needed drama that most actresses disappointingly often avoid in favor of something boring or miserably overdone. The last time Kate wore a cape to the Oscars it was a sort of unmitigated disaster, making this victory that much sweeter.

Nicki Minaj in Alexander McQueen at the MTV Movie Awards

Remember all of that stuff I’ve said about going for the gusto and aiming for *fashion* instead of clothing? Sometimes that means something totally insane and maximalist, and sometimes you’re Nicki Minaj and you pretty much cornered the market on looking nuts with the wigs, pom poms, popes, what have you, that characterized many of her prior appearances. Over the course of the last year or so, she made a very conscious public effort to rebrand herself, not unlike Miss Tay from earlier. Choosing this skintight black Alexander McQueen sheath, accessorized with a staggering amount of both ass and gold jewelry, and mean mugging every photographer on the carpet, were excellent choices to earn a great deal of attention for very different reasons than on her forays down awards seasons past.

Lizzy Caplan in Donna Karan Atelier at the Emmys

Producing some long analysis of the minimalism perfected in this Donna Karan gown seems counterintuitive. The dress is deceptively simple looking; there are a lot of ideas here: the cut-outs, the racerback’s nod to activewear, and, of course, the gorgeous surprise of the full, white skirt. Managing all of those design elements is no small feat, and Caplan pulls it off beautifully–helped by the fact that it fits her like a dream.

Angelina Jolie in Saint Laurent at the BAFTAs

There’s something heartening about the fact that, despite the deconstructed aesthetic Hedi Slimane’s brought to Saint Laurent (In our hearts, Yves), the revered French fashion house can still turn out an impeccable take on Le Smoking. Angie isn’t known as much of a red-carpet risk taker as of late but the lady-pants and totally intimidating level of sex appeal on display here gave me a whispered “yass” moment at my desk, and made me wonder again why she so often opts for drearier, more buttoned-up looks.  But this look gives me some hope; that she still carries a tiny vial of someone’s blood on her person at all times and fantasizes about dressing like Morticia Addams and kissing her brother again. We’ve all got needs!

Rihanna in Adam Selman at the CFDA Fashion Awards

2014 CFDA Fashion Awards - Inside Arrivals

Photo Credits: David X Prutting/BFAnyc.com

Look–there’s nothing remotely tasteful about this dress (is it even a dress?), and for many, an outfit this outrageous didn’t help build the case for CDFA awarding their “Fashion ICON” award to a 26-year-old. As with many of RiRi’s style choices, this does nothing if not attract attention. Rihanna’s self-awareness and, frankly, the fact that she can pull it off, help to distinguish her from the many other starlets who have worn next to nothing on the red carpet with little success–and earn her a spot on our list. Inevitably, the dress became a meme, the most memorable iteration a drawing of Family Guy’s obese patriarch Peter Griffin. Rih then adopted the picture as her Twitter avatar for a while. It got people talking, and it’s nothing if not memorable. And maybe even iconic.

Sarah Jessica Parker in custom Oscar de la Renta

The Unofficial MET Ball After Party Hosted by The Top of The Standard - Arrivals

Photo Credits: Matteo Prandoni/BFAnyc.com

This fits my definition of a “moment,” as fashion types (or people who enjoy Project Runway and the internet) like to say. It’s pure camp and glamour. In the photos of SJP on the Met steps, glancing over her shoulder, there’s a sense of the enormity of the dress. It’s the kind of memorable absurdity that distinguishes *fashion* from clothes–and the kind of memorable absurdity that the Met Gala should inspire in its attendees. And Parker’s insistence on including Oscar de la Renta’s signature on the train embarrassed the designer at the time, but in light of his passing this fall, it rightfully puts his stamp on a moment he created.

Liu Wen in Zac Posen at the Met Gala

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Charles James: Beyond Fashion and the Anna Wintour Costume Center - Receiving Line

Photo Credits: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com

AND

Karolina Kurkova in Marchesa at the Met Gala

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's COSTUME INSTITUTE Benefit Celebrating the Opening of Charles James: Beyond Fashion and the Anna Wintour Costume Center - Red Carpet Arrivals

Photo Credits: Joe Schildhorn /BFAnyc.com

I’m slotting Liu Wen and Karolina Kurkova together because they’ve accomplished similar feats in entirely unique looks. Posen and Marchesa both tend to over-embellish and over-complicate dresses. So, lesser humans (they’re both supermodels) would likely have been swallowed whole by either dress, but these two can carry the massive pleating, tricky bodices, and general grandiosity (all impeccably rendered) of the gowns with grace.

Ashley Madekwe in Banana Republic at the British Fashion Awards

Retail on the red carpet: totally a thing now! Actress and style blogger Madekwe has not only made Banana Republic, of all stores, look absolutely luxurious, but she’s rocking a super stylized take on the tux completely distinct from the iteration Angelina wore to the BAFTAs. The diva-like appropriation of the jacket as shrug, suggestive cleavage, and statement lapels give an excellent Studio 54 vibe. As for the pant length, it makes me think of “Distinction” by Pierre Bourdieu (cue my anthropology professor dabbing a tear from her eye): she’s not covering the shoes because they aren’t fabulous, it’s because she knows that, considering the rest of her outfit, we’ll all just assume that they’re enormous Louboutins.

 

6 Intense Hair Situations at Last Night’s Met Gala

A lot happened at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s annual Costume Institute gala last night. The exhibit’s "Punk: Chaos to Couture" theme inspired starlets, songstresses and socialites, to really go for it and sport daring get-ups and beauty looks. Oh, and as expected, Kim Kardashian indeed graced the red carpet with her presence in a custom Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci floral thing that has quickly spawned it’s own "Bitch stole my look!" moment with a sofa. (Social media is fun.) But more than anything, attendees expressed their inner punkdom through crazy hairstyles that ranged from brilliantly bold to major mistakes. Let’s revisit these looks, shall we? Starting with tamest (when Anne Hathaway going blonde is tame, things must be getting wild) to zaniest. 

siennamet

Always a risk-taker (I’m still defending her Golden Globes dress), Sienna Miller turned up with an expertly-executed comb-over bound by a side spike headband. She paired the look with an equally eye-catching Genevieve Jones’ Teague Ear Cuff in 18K White Gold with Diamond Pave.

katymet

Katy Perry continued her Dolce & Gabbana love affair with a hyper-embellished dress and straight-up crown pairing. Oh, hey Kate Upton, is that you trying to photobomb?

miley1

Ahh! Miley Cyrus didn’t hold anything back with this hair-raising ‘do, which was big F**K You to all the haters who still don’t understand why she’s going for a look that’s a cross between Susan Powter and Guy Fieri. (Do you see it?)

nicolemet

Nicole Richie dyed her hair grey for the occasion, and it somehow made sense. People have been comparing her to Albert Einsten, which is a pretty lazy observation, if you ask me. She did it way better than Lady Gaga did that one time

SJPmet

Last but not least, I’ll leave you with Sarah Jessica Parker, who wore a costume mohawk by famed milliner Philip Treacy. This proves that SJP will never not be Carrie from Sex and the City because the fashion world continues to hang onto her every over-the-top style moment. Who knew that Hocus Pocus chick would have such a storied career?

Photos via Getty

Manolo Blahniks Mangled Sarah Jessica Parker’s Feet

Ten years after Sex & The City made $600 shoes an aspirational item for the average Manhattan working girl, Sarah Jessica Parker is dropping a truth bomb straight from her podiatrist’s mouth: her feet are permanently fucked up.

 

The actress told Net-A-Porter’s magazine The Edit that she can’t wear heels like she used to, nor can she wear cheap shoes, either:  

"For ten or so years, I literally ran in heels. I worked 18-hour days and never took them off. I wore beautiful shoes, some better made than others, and never complained. But then I did I Don’t Know How She Does It, and I was very thoughtful about my whole wardrobe and said, you know, [Kate Reddy] could not afford really good footwear. So I got [lower priced] shoes and the bottoms weren’t leather, they were plastic, so I slipped a couple times, twisted my ankle. I went to a foot doctor and he said, ‘Your foot does things it shouldn’t be able to do. That bone there… You’ve created that bone. It doesn’t belong there.’ The moral of the story is, the chickens are coming home to roost. It’s sad, because my feet took me all over the world, but eventually they were like, ‘You know what, we are really tired, can you just stop – and don’t put cheap shoes on us?’"

It certainly begs the question why upper-middle class and middle-class women aspire to hurt themselves with their footwear. There was an interesting piece on the blog Sociological Images recently about high heels as a marker of distinction among women, in particular to incidate social prominance. Yet given the luxury they are afforded of being able to wear any shoes that they like, one wonders why time and again they choose pairs that lead to permanent food damage.

Does this mean from now on SJP will be in Crocs 4eva?

Email me at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter.

Linkage: Lindsay Lohan Might Be an Escort, Jessica Simpson Can’t Stop Bonin’, & a Kris Kross Reunion

If you’re wondering how the hell Lindsay Lohan can get away with jetting across the globe and staying in fancy hotels with nothing but money from Playboy shoots and Lifetime movies, here’s a possible explanation on where she gets her money: she might be working as a high-class escort for the rich and not-so-famous. Some of her alleged clients include Prince Haji Abdul Azim, third in line of the throne of Brunei (which is a real place, not like Genovia), and painter Domingo Zapata. Of course, these allegations come from her scumbag father, Michael Lohan, so take them with a couple shakers of salt. [Radar]

Nicole Kidman is on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter, and she dishes about Scientology—sort of. When pressed, she’ll say only: ‘I’ve chosen not to speak publicly about Scientology. I have two children [adopted with Cruise] who are Scientologists—Connor [the Red Dawn actor is now 17] and Isabella [20]—and I utterly respect their beliefs.’” The cover story also revels that Modern Family’s Sophia Vergara was director Lee Daniels’s first choice for Kidman’s role in The Paperboy, so just imagine that crazy lady doing her own hair and makeup and peeing on Zac Efron. [THR]

Jessica Simpson, as always, is both a good indicator of the failures of sex education in this country and an example of how annoying celebrities can be if their publicists can’t get them to shut the hell up. The occasional singer and sometimes actress told Jay Leno last night that she’d like to get married to fiancé Eric Johnson, with whom she has one child and a second on the way, but, in her words, “he keeps knocking me up.” [Fox News]

Sarah Jessica Parker replaced Demi Moore as Gloria Steinem in the upcoming Lovelace, premiering at Sundance, after Moore’s hospitalization for exhaustion early last year. It turns out it was all for naught: Steinem’s role in the film has been cut. [EW]

Because of money, NBC is going to roll poor Betty White out again and make her watch a bunch of people “pay tribute” to her for Betty White’s 2nd Annual 90th Birthday Special. The party’s guest list includes folks like Blake Shelton, Bill Clinton, and Larry King, because who else could possibly ruminate on all of Betty White’s achievements as an old actress who still makes dirty jokes when forced to read from cue cards in front of a TV camera? [Deadline]

Kris Kross are getting back together because they left a lot of things unsaid, a lot of pants unsagged, and also realized how much of a boner everyone has for the ’90s. [Vulture]

Does keeping a “princess-free” household promote feminist ideals in children or just keep them from having fun? [Jezebel]

Die Hard director John McTiernan is headed to jail for a year and must pay a $100,000 fine. And no, it’s not because he directed that Rollerball remake. [Indiewire]

R.I.P., old guy from old TV show. [TMZ]

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter

It’s Time To Finally Break Up With ‘Sex and the City’

Dear Sex and the City, exactly where would this world be without you? How would we function, define ourselves and know how to act when it comes to dating in New York City? How would we know how to exist, in general, in accordance to the laws of life, if it had not been for you?

Without you, all of us would be nothing. We wouldn’t be capable of realizing our own dreams or understanding such important terms like “frenemies,” or “tookus-lingus.” We wouldn’t be able to pigeonhole ourselves into only one of four types of women—as clearly, only four types exist—nor would the world be able to reference you on a daily basis. You were great in your heyday, Sex and the City, but like every relationship with an iconic (yes, it’s often called this) TV series, we’ve seen better days. It’s time we break-up; it’s time we all, every one of us, break-up with you and move on with our lives. In fact, we shouldn’t even keep in touch. You’re ruining everything.

When HBO’s Girls first aired, the show was immediately dubbed Sex and the City for women in their 20s. Hannah is to Carrie, as Marnie is to Miranda, as Shoshanna is to Charlotte, as Jessa is to Samantha, and there’s little space to argue it. As for the “Big” role, you can’t completely equate that character to Hannah’s Adam Sackler, but considering the initial unattainable vibe and the challenge it was to get him to be her boyfriend, there are definitely more than a few parallels. And just as it was when Sex and the City first aired on HBO in 1998, women are yet again defining themselves by these characters. In 1998, I was Carrie with a dash of Samantha; in 2012, I’m Hannah with a dash of Jessa. If I don’t use HBO characters to explain myself, I lose all sense of meaning. I might, god forbid, have to be me.

No matter where you live, it’s probably hard to get through a day without a mention of or a reference to a Sex and the City situation. Every time someone has a break-up it’s compared to Carrie and Big, when your friend does something that might fall under the tier of promiscuous, she’s pulled a “Samantha,” and if I have to listen to my friend Matthew go on and on anymore about the “hot French twinks in that episode where Carrie is in France with the short Russian,” I may scream. However, I’ll be a hypocrite in doing so; I’ll probably quote the series at some point within the next 48 hours. It will awkward and embarrassing, but it’s sometimes all I know. I am the Sex and the City generation (http://thegloss.com/culture/sex-and-the-city-middle-age-women-830/), and if I wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter because it’s still everywhere. What poster does Girls’ character Shoshanna have on her wall in her apartment? How old would she have been when the show premiered? About 11 or 12—maybe even younger.

Whenever a series that’s about single people in a city launches on any network, Sex and the City is used as an explanatory analogy. It’s as though a show that centers around the lives of single men and women can’t stand on its own without this comparison. From Girlfriends (about African-American ladies, although canceled in 2008) to Lipstick Jungle (another Candace Bushnell novel) to Hunting Season (on LOGO now about gay fellas), all of these shows found themselves labeled with “the Sex and the City for [insert a demographic here.]” It’s exhausting, boring and unoriginal to boot.

The only way we can break free of this and escape the never-ending semblances is to make a pact with ourselves and the rest of world to kick our Sex and the City addiction. The world functioned just fine long before Carrie Bradshaw and company penetrated our homes through the television, so we can live that way again. We can live in a Sex and the City-free society if we really want to, and honestly, we’ll be better for it.

Although hard at first, break-ups actually lead to good eventually. We’re able to get ourselves back, appreciate time with our real life friends as opposed to douchy television characters that are unable to love us in return, and we’ll finally be forced to use maybe, oh I don’t know, literature or art as a means to quell heartbreak or justify everyday mishaps as opposed to Carrie’s drama. People will stop living out the dreams that were prescribed to them by a show that’s been over for eight years now. It will be glorious! We will live again! We will be free.

The next time you find yourself mid-conversation with someone and something that could be equated to Sex and the City comes up, stop yourself. You can have the thought, you can even allow the words to do some dallying around on the tip of your tongue, but that’s where it should come to an end. This isn’t just a one-on-one break-up; this is a group break-up. We can’t do it alone; we need everyone in on this one if we’re to get through it with our sanity intact. All break-ups have some negative residual effect at first, and Ben & Jerry’s can’t solve everything.

So who’s in? Can we finally kick the SATC ladies to the curb?

Follow Amanda Chatel on Twitter.

Just To Let You All Know, ‘Hocus Pocus’ Is On YouTube In Its Entirety

For those of you who have power at this point but don’t feel like leaving your houses on Halloween, you can still curl up and relive your childhood with the Sanderson Sisters and their shenanigans. Apparently, the 1993 Disney Halloween classic starring Bette Midler (and her brilliant rendition of "I Put A Spell On You"), Sarah Jessica Parker (and her crazy eyebrows) and Kathy Najimy (riding a vacuum cleaner) can be viewed—not in the highest of quality, but decent enough—on the YouTubes, in its entirety, in one video. Talking cat and all. 

For many individuals who have been especially vocal in perpetuating this #RememberThe90s nostalgia explosion and reblogging every listicle that mentions Lisa Frank or Hey Arnold!, Hocus Pocus is an October tradition, and admit it—even into your adult years, you still stop to watch it when it’s on TV or make an evening of it around Halloween, along with Practical Magic, The Craft and other such glorious witchy films from years gone by. And even if that #RememberThe90s stuff makes you gag, Hocus Pocus is still a glorious, campy, fun piece of seasonally appropriate viewing. 

Now, go forth and watch it before the inevitable buzzkill cease-and-desist from the Walt Disney Company.