Linkage: Lady Gaga vs. The Osbournes, Robert Pattinson’s Underwear Modeling Days

When I first heard that Lady Gaga and Kelly Osbourne were in the middle of some feud, I thought, “Oh, over which has the worst hair color?” It turns out that it all has something to do with Osbourne’s association with Fashion Police, the Joan Rivers-hosted show on which Osbourne is a panelist. Osbourne revealed to Fabulous Magazine (catchy title, btw) that she was cyber-bullied by Gaga’s Little Monsters on Twitter. This led to Lady Gaga publishing an open letter, which incited Sharon Osbourne to write her own open letter. Here’s an open letter to all three: STFU. [People]

Yesterday we found out that Destiny’s Child would be releasing new music this year. Today it was confirmed that the trio will be performing together at the Super Bowl. Of course, this is Beyoncé’s world—we’re just living in it. (That goes for you, too, Kelly and Michelle.) The non-Beyoncés will join Our Queen onstage for a quick medley of Destiny’s Child tunes, including their new song “Nuclear.” [Us]

Did you know that Robert Pattinson was once an underwear model for a Chinese magazine? Did you also know that Robert Pattison used to look like a femme kd lang? [The Gloss]

Anne Hathaway won a Critics’ Choice Award, one of the many accolades for her Oscar-nominated performance as Fantine in Les Misérables (tough break, Sally Field). And then she pointed out how stupid they were for spelling her name “Ann.” [Jezebel]

Girls comes back on Sunday. How many semen-involved disasters will there be? [Hypervocal]

David Lynchheads better head to this makeshift Pink Lounge for the second annual Miss Twin Peaks Pageant. Who will be the sexiest Log Lady? [Gothamist]

It seems like every trailer could possibly be set to a song by The National, so why not Game of Thrones? [Indiewire]

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

Not Even The New York Critics Circle Can Convince Me To See ‘Lincoln’

Dear America, stop trying to get me to watch this movie. Do not want. DO NOT WANT. (We’re still talking like anthropomorphized cats on the internet, right?) I can’t imagine any other movie I’d rather see less than a long one about Our Greatest President starring The Greatest Living Actor Who Is Better At Playing Americans Than Most Living American Actors. Not even you, you group of New York film critics, are going to do this to me.

Sure, they didn’t give Lincoln top honors this year (they go, of course, to Kathryn Bigelow’s Zero Dark Thirty, the trailer for which I have seen a few times, and a film about which I know nothing except that it’s about Osama bin Laden and has Chris Pratt’s attempting to be serious-goofy rather than goofy-goofy and Jessica Chastain looks grumpy), but the Steven Spielberg Joint got two major awards for its leading actors: Daniel Day-Lewis and Sally Field. And look, I love Sally Field as much as the next gay, but I’d much rather see her revving up some union workers or dealing her flippant diabetic daughter than being sad and crazy and wearing too many ruffles.

Oh, and Tony Kushner, you say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But unless Lincoln is about Roy Cohn dying of AIDS or singing African-American maids, I’m not interested. Because, honestly, the best part about Lincoln is all the stuff that happened after he died, and not even Robert Redford could make that story appealing. Plus, I’ve saved room in my brain for only one costume drama this season, and that will be Les Misérables. Obviously. So stop telling me to see Lincoln, you guys. It’s not gonna happen.

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

Oscar Buzz Watch: Helen Hunt Is Definitely Getting Another Oscar Nomination

Okay, here’s how it’s going to go: you’re going to start hearing a lot of craaaazy talk in the upcoming weeks about Academy Award-winner Helen Hunt. About how she’s in a movie again, and that she’s actually really good, and that she’s on her way to a second career nomination. And your first instinct is going to be to not believe it. Not Helen Hunt! She’s history’s greatest monster! She won the 1997 Best Actress award for As Good As It Gets for being a prickly but warm-hearted waitress who had the good fortune to be the object of Jack Nicholson’s OCD affections. She beat such actresses as Judi Dench, Kate Winslet, Helena Bonham-Carter (back when she was a respectable star of English dramas and not an eccentric thatch of brambles), and Julie Christie.

At the time, it was not all that controversial a victory. As Good As It Gets was a crowd-pleaser and Hunt held her own with Nicholson (who also won the Oscar). She was also critically acclaimed for her TV work on Mad About You, and believe it or not, she had been considered overdue for an Emmy by the time she won in 1996. Of course, that was the first of four consecutive Emmys, and combined with four Golden Globes and that Oscar, it’s not all that surprising that the worm turned on her popularity. That Oscar win was looking more and more suspect. What did she even do in that movie besides sass at Jack and care for her sick kid? And what about the homerism of the one American in that category besting four Brits? Typical, right?

By the time 2000 rolled around and Hunt struck out on four high-profile releases in the final three months of the year, she had become something of a punch line among Serious Movie People and her Oscar win an object of scorn. That 2000 quartet is an interesting case study. Hunt ended up starring in two of the top five box-office hits of the year! How did it end up killing her career?? Well, her character in Cast Away wasn’t likeable, and it’s not like you could pin the success of that movie on anyone but Tom Hanks. Her chemistry with Mel Gibson was nonexistent in What Women Want, and back then, nobody could chalk that up to Gibson being a misogynist psychopath. Dr. T and the Women was a forgettable Robert Altman effort, though hardly worth sinking a career. But Pay It Forward… wow. Pay It Forward was such a complete flop commercially and critically that it sucked Hunt’s entire narrative down the toilet. The rest of the aughts saw her in only four more movies, five if you count the HBO adaptation of Empire Falls. As career nose-dives go, it was pretty dramatic, and it was proof positive for Hunt’s many detractors that she could neither act nor pick a good role.

Starting this weekend, Helen Hunt is back in theaters with The Sessions, Ben Lewin’s new movie about a polio-stricken John Hawkes who hires a "sex surrogate" (Hunt) to help him lose his virginity. It was a big ol’ hit at Sundance, and Hunt in particular got rave reviews. The positive critical notices continued at the Toronto and London film festivals, and what do you know? That old friend Oscar Buzz is back. This sounds, frankly, insane. Helen Hunt, who starred in the worst movie Woody Allen ever made (Curse of the Jade Scorpion), who cast herself in her directorial debut as Bette Midler’s daughter (the widely ignored Then She Found Me, though it should be noted that Rex Reed loved it!), is now Oscar-worthy, and possibly on a track to win her second Oscar?

As we learned with Ben Affleck last time, though, arc is everything in the Oscar race, and Helen Hunt’s comeback story gets better the more unlikely it seems. The prodigal daughter returns. And in The Sessions, she’s got a lot working for her chances at a nomination. She plays a good woman whose role in the film is to help a man achieve greatness, as reliable an Oscar niche as there is. That the "greatness" she helps Hawkes achieve has to do with having sex with a beautiful woman doesn’t hurt. She’s also, as of right now, due to be campaigned in the Supporting Actress category, despite the kind of screen time and story prominence that would support a Lead Actress claim. Ask Jennifer Connelly how that strategy worked out. (OMG, Jennifer Connelly! If Helen Hunt gets to shake off the dust of a terrible post-Oscar decade, won’t that give Jennifer so much hope that she might do the same??)

Here’s another Oscar tendency that works in Hunt’s favor: the Academy tends to hand out backup nominations every now and then, as if to prove that certain questionable award choices were justified. Remember all that grumbling about Marisa Tomei winning for My Cousin Vinny (grumbling that is TOTAL bullshit, by the way; Marisa was amazing in that movie)? Follow-up nominations for In the Bedroom and The Wrestler put that win in a different context. Charlize Theron’s win for Monster gets called a fluke? Follow-up nom for North Country. Hilary Swank and Sally Field managed to win on their follow-up nominations, so don’t think that can’t happen.

By the way, while we’re on the subject of The Sessions, John Hawkes’s chances for a second career nomination aren’t looking too shabby either. If you think the sex surrogate for a polio-stricken man in an iron lung trying to make it through like with dignity and wry humor is a winner of a role, try playing the guy with polio. It might be condescending, it might be tunnel-visioned, it might be cheap, but Oscar voters tend to leap at performances of disabilities.

I’m just saying you might want to be prepared. Try and remember how Helen Hunt looked on red carpets, because she’s coming back. (Does she still pretend to date Hank Azaria? That could be fun!)
 

Follow Joe Reid on Twitter.

Get Your First Glimpse of Spielberg’s Lincoln Biopic

Just in time to break through the exhausting muck of this upcoming election like a grease-fighting dish detergent made of lemony freshness and freedom, we get our first moving picture-type glimpse of Steven Spielberg’s epic biopic of our sixteenth president, Lincoln, in a teaser promoting… a promotional Google Hangout. Remember? Because this is 2012, and we have trailers for trailers for things now and Google+ is still something someone is trying to make happen.

From what brief moments we do get of the film itself, there’s some rainy, bloody period-epic-drama battle sequences, a shot of Daniel Day-Lewis looking shadowy and distinguished and a brief but promising excerpt of the Gettysburg Address. And then, after all that breathtaking eloquence and period-drama mise-en-scene, the screen goes to white to remind you about the Google Hangout happening this Thursday, featuring Spielberg and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays Lincoln’s son Robert Todd. This could actually be a very interesting Google Hangout, but it needs more Lane Pryce as Ulysses S. Grant.

Lincoln begins its wide release on November 16. Watch the teaser below, you can Google Hangout with Steven Spielberg and JGL on Thursday and don’t forget to register to vote, kids. It’s what Honest Abe would have wanted.