Why Rain Is Great News For Nightlife

As operators and employees gripe about the weather forecast, I see a silver lining in all these clouds: the weather may keep people from scooting off to oceans far away and also stop them from energy-burning daytime activities. Clubs may pack with rain refugees. The Hamptons may get washed out, the Jersey shore will surely suffer. Plus, my flowers are loving it.

This column must note the engagement of my pal Allegra Riggio to Mad Men and Sherlock Holmes actor Jared Harris. Allegra is a lighting designer known to clubland, and is an all-around beautiful person. She is gushing and spouting on social media. It couldn’t happen to a nicer person. I have RSVPd to a little soiree she is hosting and will tell you all about it after. 

Sailor Jerry Rum will celebrate the 40th anniversary of the old tattoo artist they named their brand after this coming Wednesday. Artists from Three Kings (my favorite inkers) and Matt Van Cura from invisible NYC are on board for this festival. The party will be at the Brooklyn bar with a bowling alley: The Gutter. It starts at 7pm and although it goes till 2am, it skews early.

I often consult middle employment situations. Clubs call me if they are looking for someone, and bar and waitstaff who are looking often ask if I know of anything. I am quick to give a recommendation to those who deserve it. It’s better than lending money.

I know a joint looking for a GM and am having a hard time. The reason for this is the job is one rung below owner. Investment types often team up with successful promo types and decide to do a club.

Problem with that is who is going to run it? Hire, fire, order cups, accounting, security, cleaning, repairs, legal matters: all are tedious work for a non-fabulous mindset. Promoters usually don’t learn that stuff in their travels, so GM types are offered points…ownership to make it all work. 

The GM job is therefore possibly the hardest job to fill, and although they often make way less than bar or waitstaff, it is just one small step for man (or woman) on that trip to to the moon.

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Tonight: Maxim’s ‘World’s Most Beautiful Women’ Party, Domi Dollz’ ‘Shades of Kink’

If Maxim has decided to throw a party for the WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. who am I to argue. They have named the HOT 100 and made a list and I checked it (twice). Some actual top 100s are going to be at this event being held tonight at The Gallery at Dream Downtown hotel, 355 West 16th Street. The music will be brought to you by DJ Vice, underlying that this is a big event – a hot event. Among the attendees is the number one hottest girl in the world from their list (my list has Amanda at the very top): Bar Refaeli. Others who you can strike out with include: Abby Elliot (Saturday Night Live), April Rose (model), Bria Murphy (model), Claire Coffee (General Hospital), Jessica Rafalowski (model), Jenny “JWOWW” Farley (MTV’s The Jersey Shore), Katrina Bowden (30 Rock), Nadia G (TV personality), Rebecca Mader (actress), and many more. This list thing is 12 years young and for the first time ever, the Maxim readers made the selection. What to wear?

Some prophet once said beauty is "in the eye of the beholder" and another said "beauty is only skin deep.” This beholder’s eyes think beauty must have skin covered with tattoos. For me, it don’t mean thing if it don’t have that sting. So I’m sure to find hottie heaven at the 6th Annual NYC Zombie Crawl in my native Williamsburg, Brooklyn this Sunday. It’s presented by the new Resident Evil video game and the BBURG requisite Sailor Jerry Rum and Pabst Blue Ribbon. People will be running around in Halloween in May gear with the grand finale at Public Assembly, 70 North 6th Street, where the girls of burningangel.com will offer up Strip for Pain "America’s Most Dangerous Game Show.” For me, this trumps Maxim’s hot list, but I can appreciate both sides of the coin… even it’s an edge.

Public Assembly will hold live performances by Bikini Carwash (9pm) and Fucking Bullshit (9:45pm). There will be a Rigor Mortis Burlesque Revue, prizes for the best costumes…well, you get the idea. The Zombie Crawl begins at 3:30pm at The Trash Bar, 256 Grand Street, where makeup technicians will, for a small fee ($5), make you look undead. At 3:30 pm on a Sunday in Williamsburg, everyone looks a little undead anyway. Then it’s on to The Grand Victory, 245 Grand Street, where additional Zombie action will be rampant. By 6pm it’s a march down Bedford Avenue, where all will pop into Spike Hill, 186 Bedford, for "flesh hook" performances by Nassau Chainsaw DisGraCeLand Demolition Committee. All will gather after in McCarren Park for photo-ops and a chance to confuse the tourists and nouveau hipsters who discovered Williamsburg by watching HBO’s epic series Girls.

If the Sailor Jerry Rum and PBR’s haven’t gotten the best of me and mine, we’ll head to Bowery Poetry Club, 306 Bowery at Houston, to take in Linda Simpson’s new party "Exhibit A,” Sunday at 10pm, $5.

Exhibit A promises to take "the spectator on an absurd and erotic journey.” That sounds a lot like my third marriage, so I’m there. This is a last-Sunday-of-every- month affair, which sounds like my second marriage. On stage, there will be experimental drag rules, high-concept hostess Sylvia London, sexual outlaw Alexis Blair Penney, and non-stop butch and femme orgy by Dollhaus and Dj Chris P.

Tonight, (and I have told you about this before; pay attention or a spanking may be in order), Domi Dollz presents “Shades of Kink” at – where else – the Museum of Sex, 233 5th Avenue at 27th Street. This event will show you the ropes and other ways to spice up your love life. It’s a perfect place for a couple looking for answers to all the wrong questions and for singles looking for Mr. or Ms. right or wrong. If you have been looking for love in all the wrong places, then this place is perfect for you. It is way wrong – and right.

Coping with the Election: Five Tattoos in Two Days

As each new news day brings me a bit closer to the reality of President Romney, I seek distraction. I found some last weekend at Magic Cobra Tattoo Society and Three Kings, where I got five tattoos in two days. The pain that I’m used to distracted me from the debates. I keep wondering what kind of retarded hermit could be "undecided" at this point. It seems that Ohio will decide it all, and I rue that day when people in Ohio decide my fate. I spent a year in Cleveland one night and Akron made Cleveland seem like Vegas. Don’t get me started on Cincinnati.

I remember that horrible election night when Bush beat Gore or whatever happened. I was at Spa where we were hosting Hillary Clinton’s victory bash. Ben Affleck was there, and I kept bringing him into the office where Florida was the decider. By the way, Mr. Affleck is the nicest guy in the world. He was in tears as victory turned into defeat. Now I am fearful again. It seems like déjà vu, and no amount of ink will save me, although I’m getting another  tattoo this weekend. For this election, I will head to White Rabbit, 145 E. Houston St., to pray as WashMachine presents Electoral Ruckus. My pal Joy Rider is part of the crew hosting this affair, and she always delivers and has a nice shoulder for me to cry on if it comes to that. Not sure what’s happening at the event, but here’s what they say:

Hot wire the coverage, hijack the commercials, and re-edit real time: live audio/video manipulation of Election Day TV broadcasts by sound artist Jason Candler and experimental filmmaker Jimi Pantalon. Making your vote count all night long w/ DJs Cru Jones and The Butcha.

This sounds like fun. Until then I’ll check out my pal Clair Reilly-Roe at Aroma Espresso Bar, 161 W. 72nd St., tonight at 8pm or probably head back to Magic Cobra for a Hope tattoo. I was there the other night for the Paul Nathan book signing event hosted by Sailor Jerry Rum. Joe Truck, who owns the joint but now spends most of his time out west, and I compared notes on old places and old friends. It seems like we have been in the same room at the same time a zillion times. And it’ll probably happen again since I saw this killer Picasso tattoo he did and now I want it. My regular artist at the shop Adam Korothy is off to New Orleans for a convention. I’m very worried, and there aren’t enough tattoos or Sailor Jerry Rum or singers at coffee shops to calm me down. Halloween might help…more on that tomorrow.

All-Drag Ramonahs & Sailor Jerry Rum: Just A Night At Arlene’s Grocery

O.K. I love Sailor Jerry parties. The music always slams , the crowd is hot in a tattooed sort of way, and there is always an abundance of Sailor Jerry Rum around to… lubricate the attendees. Yes, I got me another tattoo: a sort of naked cheerleader, and for no good reason. I’m past the point of great philosophical meanings for my ink. I just like it. Maybe in 40 or 50 years I’ll regret these hasty decisions, but I bet my eighth wife will think they’re hot.

The highlight of the evening was The Ramonahs, an all-drag Ramones cover band. It features TV tattoo celebrity Oliver Peck doing the lead singing. He and his bandmates don silly wigs and wear fake boobs as they slam through a fairly cool Ramones set. For an old codger like me who saw the Ramones a hundred times it was … well, music to my ears. I texted Marky Ramone about it but, alas, he was in Italy. I think he would have laughed and even joined them. This gig was like that.

The shin-dig happened at Arlene’s Grocery. Arlene’s is special; a throwback to an age of enlightement. It has its ups and downs, but who doesn’t. Monday night was a definite up. Special shout-out to Sailor Jerry P.R. Dana Dynamite who helps organize these soirees.

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Photo: Inked

Tattooed Bums & Sailor Jerry Rum

So now I’m obssessed. It isn’t enough that I am quickly covering my entire body with random tattoos, but now I almost only find happiness when surrounded by others who are obsessed with covering their entire body with tattoos. Last night I went to The Gutter, 200 N. 14th St. (Brooklyn), my new favorite place to get some ink from, to celebrate the life of Sailor Jerry Collins from Sailor Jerry. The crowd, the tattoos, the music, the Sailor Jerry Rum. and the hot dogs (even the vegan ones) were all wonderful. People threw darts at a dartboard and got the tattoo that was posted up on it.

Todd Weinberger, the creative director of Inked, got a hammerhead shark just ahead of me. Matt Van Cura of Invisible NYC did mine. He’s great and I’m heading to him next week to get myself a Ramones logo in memory of my pal Arturo Vega who just passed. A young lady who I was chatting up wore the famous logo t-shirt last night in Arturo’s honor. She said she didn’t know him but wanted to show respect. The gesture jolted me from depression over his passing into thinking how well he spent the time he had. 

Sadly, I must report the passing of yet another dear friend: Elizabeth Connor Bursis died in San Francisco after a courageous fight with cancer. Some remember her as a Danceteria bartender or from the Eulenspiegel Society – the largest BDSM society in the U.S. – or just being their looking marvelous. She was one of my mentors, and talked to me in her calm voice and open mind about the journey I was taking. Until recently we kept involved on Facebook, but then she drifted away. I didn’t know why until yesterday. I had been meaning to connect with her just as the news came.

A friend comforted me by telling me that we know a lot of people, and many of those people have lived hard but exciting lives and that many of them are getting up there in age. I guess for club types, 60 is the new 80. Liz left us all too soon. 

My friend Kim Vu is soft-launching Bristle + Creme at 416 Third Ave. (29th and 30th). It’s a saloon and coffee shop and a lot more. The ambitious, beautiful Kim will bring much needed pizazz to that Murray Hill/ Turtle Bay strip.

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A Little Bit of Rum & Hope

For me, this summer of love has been well…lovely. I decided to file only three days a week until Labor Day reignites my passion for writing this labor-of-love column. Yet here I am again. I’ll keep it short and as sweet as that apple rosemary puree they put on my porkchop over at Hope Garage, which had its friends and family opening last night. Yep, it was a garage and yep, it’s on Hope Street, number 163, right off of Union. When they officially open, they’ll be open until 4am. The staff and food and ambiance will have me walking over as soon as that happens. The thing about this friends and family gathering was that it was full of friends who I never see on this side of the river. Most are still shocked that I live nearby as I am shocked that they still live over there. I play and work in Manhattan, but I walk my dog and thrive in Brooklyn. I might not have attended, but Noelle Bailey, who many of you know from the doors of NYC clubs, told me I had better go. She’s out in Colorado now, finishing up her PHD. She’s the type that will reach right through my computer screen and yank me if I disregard. She won’t have to command me to attend again. Hope Garage is a welcome addition to the hood.

Tonight I will attend the 2FEET 12INCHES opening reception for C.ZAR a screening at White Rabbit, 145 East Houston Street. That starts at 7pm. Robert Aloia, who is curating this and a series of other events under the 2FEET12INCHES brand, always has a hot, eclectic turnout.

This Saturday I’ll pop out for the day to The Montauk Beach House, my home away from home. My pal Paul Sevigny will be DJing and celebrating the birthday of DJ Peter Makebish. They’re also launching a "New Revolving Showcase for Local Artists" under the title “Downtown Art.” I’m gonna leave early Saturday morning to beat the traffic and take a 10-hour energy thing to get me home to my own bed. Yep, I still roll like that.

Tomorrow is National Rum Day…yep. Those good people over at Sailor Jerry Rum are taking over Mother’s Ruin, 18 Spring Street (Mott and Elizabeth), and are offering up $2 Sailor Jerry Slushies all night. I did some research because, yep, I roll like that, and National Irish Coffee Day is January 25th, World Whiskey Day is March 27th, National Bourbon Day is June 14, and National Tequila Day is July 24 – which is way too close to National Scotch Day on July 27. National Vodka Day is October 4th and, of course, National Hangover Day is January 1st.

Rock & Rock and Vodka in Iceland, Magic Monday at Tammany Hall

Our post-BINGO Monday night crawl, which almost always ends up at Joe’s Shanghai, took a detour this week. Dana Dynamite, that Sailor Jerry Rum P.R., was intent on meatballs – and a man my age knows to never get between a gal and her cravings. Shoot, I ended up married a couple of times to women that could have done better following that advice for me. Amanda was a willing lemming as well, as we vowed to follow Dana off any cliff. Waylaid at the door of Tammany Hall by my old friend and newish manager Christine Jennings, my stop-and-chat had the girls wandering into Mission Chinese Food, 154 Orchard Street. I’ve seen the lines and heard the news about folks from Momofuku and Blue Hill Farm and the Mission Chinese San Francisco joint that the NYC spot was all the rage. It was 11pm on a Monday night and the dapper maitre d’ told us 20 minutes. Seemed like a plan.

It was red hot chili peppers meets Mean Mr. Mustard and Steve vs. the Volcano. Hot stuff! Dana was doing her thing and telling me all about this Icelandic Vodka, Reyka, and this rock and roll festival. I was all ears, as my mouth and nose were too numb to be of use. The Icelandic Airwaves Music Festival will whisk Dirty Projectors, Of Monsters and Men, Sigur Rós, and 70+ other bands to that fiery rock with those sexy people October 31 – November 4, 2012. They say it’s “the hippest long weekend on the annual music-festival calendar.” This is Reyka’s second year in a row sponsoring this thing and there has been an online screening process to choose the bands, called “Breakthrough at Airwaves.”

Today is the last day for bands to submit tracks to www.Reyka.com. "Two bands, selected by the festival will win a weeklong trip to Reykjavik, including travel and lodging, and get to perform alongside some of the most exciting and inspired names in music." They’ll announce the winners August 14th. Iceland in November gets, like, 16 hours of night – perfect for Goodnight Mr. Lewis. I’m just saying.

Anyway, after surviving the ridiculously delicious but way too spicy meal, we decided to pop into Tammany Hall to check out the infamous Magic Monday soiree. It’s been running six months now and Christine and Ky told me all about it:

"Breedlove performs every week, along with the guest bands booked by Ky. The party starts at 10pm, is always free, and there is an open Bud Light bar for the first hour, which happens to be Breedlove’s beer of choice."

Ky impressed me. She seems to have those musical chops that are so rare in this biz. Managers are a dime a dozen, door people maybe a quarter, and I wouldn’t go past two cents for a waitron or bartender. They are all replaceable in hours. A person who can book bands and get it right…now that’s a rarity. We’ll be back, but this time we’ll opt for the meatballs.

NYC Culture Just Got Hotter: Launch of Tattoo Photo Book & Art Show By Former BlackBook Editor

I guess I have to come back. Paradise is where you make it, but I have gotten used to the sand, surf, and sun, and the generally slow pace of this wonderful island. Alas, I will walk among you tomorrow morning. There are two events of interest: Tomorrow, Saatchi & Saatchi are hosting a soiree from 6pm to 10pm for the launch of photography book Generation Ink: Williamsburg, featuring photos of 20-somethings and their tattoos by Paul Nathan. The Dough Rollers are performing, and my gang from Magic Cobra Tattoo Society will be doing what they usually do on Driggs and S. 3rd. Sailor Jerry Rum will provide the courage. It’s kind of ironic that this event is taking place in Manhattan, 375 Hudson St. Manhattan is that place where cool kids slum. Paul Nathan will be taking a portrait of people who buy his book at the event.

Tonight is the opening reception for art exhibit “Bad w/$”  at 443 PAS (443 Park Avenue South). The hubbub is about a solo show of work by Fernando Cwilich Gil that “continues his longstanding exploration of wealth and poverty through painting, design, and media." The show will run until New Year’s Day. Tonight’s opening reception will run from 6pm to 8pm. Gil was the dude who brought me to BlackBook, so you can blame him. Since I am traveling I’m just going to paste the show’s one-sheet onto my column and go back to the beach.

…Gil is the owner of Buenos Aires-based Liquid Assets Paint & Pigment Company, a functional/conceptual company established in 1997 that manufactures and sells artist paint made from 100% pure currency pigment (liquidassetspaint.com). In 2012, Gil began working with neuroscientists from the Universidad de Buenos Aires to measure cognitive visual capacity in a dynamic online environment. A beta version of the project can be found attdma.tv. Both of the above projects will be featured in Bad w/$, along with traditional paintings.

Gil (b. 1977 in Argentina) lives and works in Buenos Aires and Rio de Janeiro) In 2002 he conceived and co-founded ProyectArte, a Buenos Aires-based nonprofit that provides fine art training to poor young people in South America. He is the founder of the Prima Gallery in Buenos Aires. His work has been show extensively in the Americas and Europe, where he has also left his mark in the more traditional media world as an editor and creative director for print, broadcast and online media for clients such as Adidas, Heineken, Nike, LVMH, and others. He has also served as editor of BlackBook and as a reporter for the New York Post, and has written for many other media.