I love this. Out of all the absurdities presented in the Jurassic Park franchise, there is one bitter pill that is harder than any for genuine dinosaur experts to swallow. What they want to know is, Where the hell are the feathers?
Colin Trevorrow, director of Safety Not Guaranteed and the upcoming Jurassic Park 4, blithely tweeted that the new installment will continue to ignore the discovery that Velociraptors, for example, were covered in elaborate plumage. Even the T-Rex is supposed to have some feathers, apparently.
Those concerned with dino verisimilitude have been vocal in their insistence that the movies catch up with established science, and lament the existence of a middle America that would probably find feathered dinosaurs to be “totally gay.” Sorry dudes—I think the FX department is busy designing giant mounds of shit anyway.
Some people judge a movie based on reviews, other will go see something just because it features a favorite actor. Here, we’re judging this weekend’s offerings based solely on what we see in the trailers and ranking them accordingly.
Prometheus: What more could you want from a movie? Space travel, disaster, Ridley Scott and a stellar cast, including the fantastical Noomi Rapace, make this the trailer to beat this weekend. And it’s going to own the box office, so there’s also that.
Bel Ami: Does this movie, featuring Robert Pattinson as a social-climbing ladies’ man in ancientish Paris, look good? Not really. Does the trailer get us excited? Absolutely. There’s no way that two hours of this powdered-wig seduction would hold our attention, but for a few minutes it’s exciting enough to rank highly.
Dark Horse: The latest from Todd Solondz looks funny, offbeat and perhaps less I-need-a-shower-after-this than his previous work. And even though Selma Blair kind of looks like Katie Holmes is trying to escape from her face, this coming attraction definitely does its job.
Safety Not Guaranteed: Aubrey Plaza and Mark Duplass can sell almost any movie, and this Seattle-based caper about a guy who thinks he’s discovered the secret to time travel doesn’t need a whole lot of help in that category. This movie doesn’t look like it’s going to scratch our blockbuster itch, but if Prometheus is sold out, we’d definitely sneak in.
Lola Versus: We love Greta Gerwig, we really do, but there’s something a bit too post-rom-com about this movie, from the looks of the trailer, to draw us in. Ask again when it’s on TV on a rainy Sunday afternoon, but chances are we won’t be rushing to the multiplex.
Peace, Love and Misunderstanding: Unless you’re taking your mom to the movies for, uh, Father’s Day, no way.