Human Meme That Can Swim Gets E! Reality Show

Professional swimmer and full-time Floridian Ryan Lochte nestled his way into our hearts and our GIFs this summer with his stunning athletic prowess 4 America, his bizarre sense of personal branding (complete with trademark catchphrase) and his general status as human meme. Also, the whole American flag grill thing, which got about as much coverage as his actual swimming did. Anyway, the initial Lochte-mania may have died down, following his appearances on 90210 and 30 Rock (as a "sex idiot") and his trademarking of "Jeah!" but as our Jessica Wakeman forewarned a few months ago, Lochte wanted his own show. About his one-night stands.

Well, it looks like that first thing is going to happen, although maybe not exclusively about that second thing. E! announced yesterday that Lochte’s reality show, the aptly-titled six-part documentary series What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, will air this April. The show will follow the Lochte’s adventures in further Olympic ambitions, footwear design, meeting women and partying, and other such shenanigans. 

As Suzanne Kolb, president of E! Entertainment, said in a statement, praising Lochte’s "utterly unique and unaffected approach to life:" "He is an incredibly endearing personality who is sexy, entertaining and fun. Watching this show, I believe people will fall into three categories: they want to be him, sleep with him or mother him." Yep, you read that last thing right. Mother him. I’m not really in a place to judge because I don’t have kids, but, is that a big thing reality showrunners work to? Watching celebrities on reality shows and thinking, "Damn, I wish that celebrity with the weird catchphrase on the television were my kid!" 

No word yet on whether or not his swimming buddy Prince Harry (who would probably actually make for amazing TV, when you think about it) or his sister Megan, who said some terrible, racist things in front of a rolling camera after returning from the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing, will also appear. But even when not being racist on cable access television, the Lochte siblings’ unscripted on-camera aptitude (or lack thereof) leaves something to be desired. Lest we forget:

Ryan Lochte Pursuing Reality Show About His One Night Stands

Of course Ryan Lochte wants a reality show. Of course he does. A source tells Us Weekly the Olympic gold medalist is shopping a reality show starring him, his brother and his father that will focus on Lochte’s training, love life and his new fashion line. No word yet on whether the reality show will include  peeing in pools.

What more could we want to know about Ryan Lochte’s love life than what his mother has told us already? "He only goes out on one-night stands," Mama Lochte said. "He’s not able to give fully to a relationship because he’s always on the go." (She later clarified that she meant he is "so sensitive" and "not wanting to hurt a girl," so he "takes out a girl for maybe one or two dates and doesn’t have a relationship because he doesn’t have (time) and it’s not fair for the women." Oh, that’s what you meant.)  Also, I refuse to believe that someone who can’t speak in proper sentences and tries to make the nonsense-word "Jeah!" a thing would be interesting enough for a reality show. Then again, that didn’t stop the Palins.

Regardless of what happens with Ryan Lochte’s reality show, it will be a busy fall for the swimmer-turned-celebrity: he has been covering New York Fashion Week for E! and he has also filmed an appearance on 30 Rock. Milk it, Ryan Lochte, milk it!

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