Russell Brand Ruins Yoga For Everyone

There are two things I don’t particularly care for: yoga and Russell Brand. You can imagine how I’d feel if those two things were combined. I would like none of that, thank you very much! But here’s what I’m missing from the most L.A. yoga class ever: Russell Brand staged a walkout at the Golden Bridge yoga studio. And yes, Demi Moore did participate. 

It all started because Brand was upset that his yoga teacher and BFF, Tej Kaur Kalsa, wanted out of her yoga-teaching contract. Golden Bridge just wouldn’t budge! So, naturally, Brand insisted that everyone leave the class in protest.

“Russell absolutely adores Tej, and she has become something of a guru to him,” an insider tells Radar. “They are the best of friends. They meditate together, they hike, they go to vegan restaurants together, and Russell took it very personally when he found out that Tej wasn’t happy at Golden Bridge.

“Tej told Russell that she wanted to quit teaching at the studio, but claimed they wouldn’t let her out of her contract. That made him spitting mad and he vowed to take action on her behalf!”

So last Tuesday, at the start of morning class, Brand decided to fight the power and stage a mass walk out.

The source says that just as the students were getting situated on their mats, and fellow celeb Demi Moore was taking off her shoes and finding a spot on the floor, Russell marched to the front of the class, with Tej standing next to him.

“Golden Bridge is not treating my friend in a respectful manner,” Russell charged. “After years of dutiful service, they refuse to let her out of her contract. If you’d like to continue to study with her, follow me!”

An eyewitness says the crowd shifted nervously for a few seconds, wondering whether or not they were being Punk’d, but soon enough, at least half of the class, Moore included, rolled up their mats and followed Russell right out the door!

None of this sounds particularly relaxing. But can’t you just imagine how annoying it would be to have yoga with Russell Brand? Lots of farts coming from that jokester, I’m betting.

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Russell Brand Smokes Heroin In BBC Documentary

In a new documentary to air later this month on BBC Three, Russell Brand watches footage of himself smoking heroin in his 20s — and confesses that drug addiction felt so good that he longs to have it back.

In Russell Brand: From Addition To Recovery, the comic walks his friend Martino Sclavi through his addiction at his worst. While watching the footage of himself doing smack in a Hackney apartment, Brand muses, "This is when you know it’s a disease. It doesn’t matter that I sat in that flat in Hackney and now I’m in the Savoy. I’m jealous of me then." He continues, "It doesn’t make a different to me. The money, the fame, the power, the sex, the women — none of it. I’d rather be a drug addict." 

 In April, he testified before Parliament about the UK’s drug policy, urging them to treat drug addiction as an illness, rather than solely a criminal problem. In his testimony, Brand confessed "I was a criminal when I was a drug addict by virtue of my addiction and the ways that I had to acquire money to get drugs." In the throes of his heroin addiction, the actor was told he only had six months to live; the 37-year-old has been clean for 10 years.  

Linkage: Lars von Trier Plotting Return To Cannes, Philip Glass’s New Project

Lars von Trier’s Charlotte Gainsbourg led Nymphomaniac will be presented in two parts, according to producer Peter Aalbæk Jensen. And what’s more, they hope to have both films shot, edited and finished in time for a return to Cannes — where von Trier was excused as a persona non grata last year — in 2013. [IndieWire]

"I drink the blood of Kristen Stewart," quipped the now grown Molly Ringwald during a Reddit AMA last night when she was asked how she keeps young. [Reddit]

The secret ingredient in that chef’s special? It may be the music. According to one New York City chef, when the music’s up, things "groove better." "And I think," she says, "it translates into the food." [NYT]

The German state of Bavaria is set to publish the first German run of Hilter’s Mein Kampf since World War II. “We want to make clear what nonsense is in there," explained the Bavarian state finance minister, who also assured that they plan to make future German editions as "commercially unattractive" as possible. [Time]

The English National Opera has announced its next year’s offerings, and among them is a new Philip Glass opera about the last days of Walt Disney called The Perfect American. The story will follow Wilhelm Dantine, a cartoonist who worked for Disney in the 1950s, whose life is, according to Glass, "unimaginable, alarming and truly frightening." [Independent]

Russell Brand invoked Tupac Shakur while testifying before a parliamentary committee reviewing U.K. drug policy. When asked if he, having been open about his struggles with addiction in the past, fancies himself a role model, Brand answered: "As the great Tupac Shakur said, ‘Role is something people play, model is something that people make, both of those things are fake.’" [Huff Post]

‘Katy Perry: Part of Me 3D’ Trailer: Yes, It’s a Katy Perry Concert Film

Ever since divorcing Russell Brand, Katy Perry has been on a whirlwind public redemptive story to make her out to be some kind of transgressive figure of personal courage or whatever have you. And maybe she is! (But probably not.) That looks like the idea behind Katy Perry: Part of Me 3D, an upcoming concert movie that will sum up the entire Katy experience without the trouble of stepping foot in a stadium. "Thank you so much for believing my weirdness!" Katy tells her audience, as though she isn’t an immaculately coiffed and managed celebrity. But that’s always been her appeal: to make you, the average person, believe like you can relate to this perfectly constructed pop cyborg. Oh, and there’s a Christian angle, which basically makes this Never Say Never Pt. 2. Such a copycat!

Having actually press passed my way into one of her concerts (thanks, journalism!) I can confirm that Ms. Katy’s show is definitely some kind of spectacle, complete with amateur acts of lesbianism (during "I Kissed a Girl," natch) and literal fireworks (during "Firework," natch). If you’ll never have a tween daughter or college girlfriend to take to the real thing, why not see this in theaters? You should probably get kind of drunk, though. Part of Me will be out on July 4th weekend.

Afternoon Links: Bobby Womack Diagnosed With Colon Cancer, Madonna Joins Twitter

● On his Facebook today, Bootsy Collins bears the bad news that 68-year-old soul singer Bobby Womack has been diagnosed with colon cancer. "He is Very Up Beat About His Future, we laughed & joked before we hung up," writes Collins, adding that, "Thxs Funkateers, we will get him Back on the One!" [Billboard]

● Russell Brand is literally scrubbing himself clean of Katy Perry by removing his half of their his and hers Sanskrit tattoo. [HollywoodLife]

● For her next big project, Angelina Jolie is pitching a movie about Afghanistan because, she says, "I’ve been there a few times in the last 11 years, and it’s a part of the world we’re all quite aware of now, but… I’m not sure." Okay! [EW]

● Universal and Focus Features have won the much sought-after screen rights to E.L. James’s hugely popular "mommy porn" novel, Fifty Shades of Grey. [Deadline]

● In promotion of her new album MDNA, Madonna has joined Twitter for one day, and, well, just one day only. [CNN]

● In the case that you are not too burned out from The Hunger Games (or maybe because you are burned out from The Hunger Games) here is the first teaser trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2. [Vulture]

Afternoon Links: Russell Brand Gives Homeless Man $600, Dave Chappelle Joins Twitter

● Feeling "a bit bad" about his recent behavior (and maybe also trying to impress his new girlfriend), Russell Brand gave a homeless man on Hollywood Boulevard a quite charitable $600 in cash. According to someone nearby, "Russ told him to spend it wisely and to make sure he says ‘Hello’ if they ever cross paths again." [PageSix]

● Why you hatin’? Spin runs down the who’s, how’s, and why’s of the 30 most hated acts of all time. [Spin]

● Dave Chappelle has joined the Twittering masses. [SplitSider]

● The paparazzi caught Rihanna dropping by Ashton Kutcher’s L.A. home last night for a late-night pow-wow. She then snuck out sometime around 4AM. [MTO]

● Kreayshawn says her full-length, $1-million debut, Somethin Bout Kreay, will be ready for release sometime this summer. [TheFader]

● Sophia Coppola’s new movie, The Bling Ring, supposedly opens with a "knowing quote" from noted Twitter poet Nicole Richie. The future truly is upon us. [IndieWire]

Morning Links: Charlize Theron Adopts a Baby Boy, Kanye West Wants to Marry Kim Kardashian

● One healthy, African-American baby boy from the United States named Jackson has got a brand new adoptive mom: Charlize Theron. How lucky! [Us]

● Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s iTunes account, chocked full of Chris Brown and Blake Shelton, offers a softer side of the embattled dictator. [Guardian]

● Comedy Central will begin airing Community reruns in 2013 so that your little brother can love it, too. [Vulture]

● Nick Gordon insists that he’s not dating his sort-of-sister Bobbi Kristina. "We’re just close — just going through her mom’s passing and grieving together," he says, explaining recent photos of the two holding hands and sharing unusually intimate moments. [Huff Post]

● Rumor has it that Kanye West is obsessed with Kim Kardashian and "would marry her," but we think he probably just likes her shoes. [Bossip]

● New Orleans police have an issue out for the arrest of Russell Brand after he threw a photographers iPhone through a window in — as he dubiously put it — "tribute" to Steve Jobs. "I cannot bear to see anyone use an iPhone irreverently," he said. [TMZ]

Morning Links: M.I.A. Flips the Bird, Demi Moore Checks Into Rehab

● M.I.A. won Madonna’s Super Bowl half-time show when she punctuated her "Give Me All Your Lovin’" verse with a middle finger. She really "don’t give a shit." [Rap-Up]

● Should it land in court, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’s divorce trial will likely be televised much like the popular Conrad Murray or O.J. Simpson trials. Nancy Grace is clearing her schedule now. [Huff Post]

● Reports have it that Demi Moore quietly checked into Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah this weekend for help with her eating disorder and addiction issues. [Us]

● David Beckham got kicked out of his son Romeo’s soccer game for unsoliceted side-line reffing. [E!]

●"I would argue that the uncomfortable feelings she elicits are simply the by-product of watching a woman wanting and taking like a man," writes Liz Phair of Lana Del Rey in the Wall Street Journal. "You see, Lana Del Rey is exactly what I was hoping to inspire when I took on the male rock establishment almost twenty years ago." [WSJ]

● Katy Perry out of the picture, Russell Brand has set his sights on Zooey Deschanel, the human being who looks the most like Katy Perry. [DailyMail]

Afternoon Links: Katy Perry Unfollowed Russell Brand on Twitter, PETA Wants O.J. Simpson’s Old House

● Katy Perry has unfollowed Russell Brand on Wwitter, but Russell Brand is, for now, still following Katy Perry. We can’t all be like Demi. [Us]

● Al Green thinks President Obama "nailed it" last night. [TMZ]

● PETA has asked J.P. Morgan to donate the use of O.J. Simpson’s Florida home for their "Meat is Murder" museum, where they hope to teach visitors that "non-violence begins on our plates." [Forbes]

● "I am pretty much obsessed with coffee," writes David Lynch on the Huffington Post today — his birthday! — of his seven-cup-a-day habit. "Coffee has always seemed to facilitate thinking and catching ideas. Not only that, but the flavor of coffee is beyond the beyond good." [Huff Post]

● Australian supermodel Jessica Gomes, the girl behind those famous "Maybach Music" drops, says she was paid for the gig in neither money nor Rick Ross visitation rights. "It’s not about the money for me," she says, "I was lucky enough at that time to do that … it’s very flattering that I got acknowledged by the hip-hop world." [XXL]

● If this make-up artist’s recreations are to be believed, Beavis and Butt-Head would be horrifying in real life. [BuzzFeed]

● According to Detroit rapper Danny Brown, 50 Cent doesn’t know "what the fuck Pitchfork" is. [Complex]

● Lil Wayne got hurt on his skateboard last night. Expect a few days of radio silence. [@LilTunechi/Twitter]