Five Terrible Remakes In The Works

From gritty reboot to plain old plagiarism, here are the worst remakes currently in the pipeline.

Three Men and a Baby:

"Adam Sandler is planning to remake 1980s hit comedy flick ‘Three Men and Baby’. He would team up with Disney, who made the original for the project … Adam wants to remake the same movie again with Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider in the lead roles. The original ‘Three Men and Baby’ was also a remake of a French movie."

Highlander

"For fans of [Ryan] Reynolds’ other work, we wonder what this means for any potential of him suiting up soon for that other buzzed about project with a hard-to-kill sword-swinging protagonist: Deadpool. And more importantly, are we going to see Reynolds sport long locks like his predecessor? Is he going to rock a fake Scottish accent in flashbacks as part of the Clan MacLeod?"

RoboCop:

Unlike the original RoboCop, whose chrome-and-black armor suggested something that was part-man, part-carburetor, the new suit is a more anatomically-inspired and streamlined design, more exo-skeleton than cyborg. It recalls certain examples of superhero outerwear—more specifically, those worn by Batman in Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy.

Evil Dead:

Sam Raimi himself is producing the remake, as well as helping out Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody (Young AdultJunowith scripting duties.

Dirty Dancing:

Lionsgate is postponing the Dirty Dancing reboot. The studio has put the remake on ice for another year for casting reasons, Deadline has learned. The remake of the 1987 Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey film was scheduled to be released in July 2013, but now the movie is off the studio’s release dance card at least until 2014.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Rob Schneider’s New Sitcom Looks Like Rob Schneider’s New Sitcom

Remember at the turn of the millennium when reality television’s popularity began to swell and cultural critics worried that the end of scripted programming was nigh? Well, get in a time machine, crank that bad boy to 2001, and tell those critics not to worry: Rob Schneider has saved the day. (You may also want to tell those critics that Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction and to get another job before their newspapers and magazines go under.)

A twenty-second promo for Schneider’s CBS show Rob hit the web, and it looks to be a sitcom in the All in the Family mold, as in it is recorded with cameras and shown on television:

 

 

CBS recently changed the name of the series from ¡Rob! to just plain Rob. Now, people won’t have to scour their keyboards to find “¡” in order to tweet, “Just saw Rob on CBS, who has some poison I can drink?”

Rob premiers on January 12. Is it a coincidence that Rob Schneider’s sitcom about clashing with a Spanish-speaking culture debuts 11 months and 9 days before the end of the Mayan calendar? Probably, but stock up on canned goods just to be safe.