Seth Meyers Will Not Join Kelly Ripa on ‘Live!’

Luckily we weren’t the only ones who thought casting SNL head writer and Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers as Regis Philbin’s permanent replacement was a nutty idea. Meyers has commented on the record that he won’t be joining Kelly Ripa on the morning chat show. 

"No, no, no, no, no," Meyers told The Orlando Sun-Sentinal on Monday afternoon. (He did not retract with "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.") As the rest of the country gears up for a potentially stressful election season, Meyers is excited to hop back behind the desk in his schoolboy blazer. "I’m really in love with the job I have. I’m very excited to be going back [to “SNL”] for the election season, which is always fun.”

Meanwhile, the two frontrunners are opera singer Josh Groban and NFL veteran Michael Strahan, whoever that is. (C’mon, I just dropped a deep-cut Destiny’s Child ref, OK?) And Kelly Ripa was quick to comment about Meyers’s chances at taking the co-hosting gig."When you see Seth Meyers in the morning, it is like looking at a vampire," she said. Gee, I wonder what made him decide to pass on the new job opportunity?

Morning Links: Scarlett Johansson To Try On Director Hat, Regis Philbin Signs Off

● Scarlett Johansson will make her directorial debut with Summer Crossing, an adaptation of Truman Capote’s lost novella. She acts, she sings, she plays in politics, and now this. What can’t she do? [Variety]

● Ahead of next week’s official release, dedicated fans can stream Rihanna’s Talk That Talk on Facebook, earning access through her "Unlocked App." [Billboard]

● Jezebel hears that American Apparel’s Dov Charney won a half-million dollar advance for a book called Confessions. What hear you? [Jezebel]

● You’re going to have to wait until next year to hear Rick Ross’s God Forgives, because like every other album ever worth listening to, its release date has been pushed back. [Billboard]

● Page Six is reporting this morning that producers for the American Music Awards are stressing over Nicki Minaj’s budget, which includes YouTube sensation Sophia Grace and also and "’electic vibrating prop’ between her legs." [Page Six]

● Regis Philbin will sign off from Live With Regis and Kelly for the last time today, and he promises that, “I’m not going to cry!” We can’t be sure no tears were shed last night, however, when Regis fell off a Vespa mid-Letterman skit. [NYT]

Morning Links: Charlie Sheen’s Best Pick-Up Lines, J-Lo’s School for Baby Modeling

● After 28 years, Regis Philbin is stepping down from his morning show post. Who’s next? Ryan Seacrest? Kathy Griffin? Let the speculation begin! [Gawker] ● Dr.Drew picked up leptospirosis, an infectious disease, while on his second honeymoon in the West Indies. That’s what you get for being greedy about your honeymoon time. [E] ● Dear internet hookers, Charlie Sheen noticed your ad on, fancies himself “an A-list actor that you mite like to meet…” Oh, and he thinks “U are fabulous!” Well, maybe? [TMZ]

● J-Lo has put her three-year-old twins to work modeling for Gucci’s new kids line. Rest assured, she loves being a mom. “I want to do this a thousand more times,” she said of her future sweatshop. [People] ● More than 6 million fans tuned in to Sunday night’s Hannah Montana series finale. Four million of those viewers were under the age of 14. [NYPost] ● Here’s one for the Freudians: fetish photos of Octomom whipping a man dressed as a baby. [TMZ]