Linkage: A Successful Golden Globes, a Zack Snyder ‘Star Wars,’ and New Natalie Wood Evidence

It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, but last night’s Golden Globes were a big hit. The combination of nominated movies that people actually saw and liked as well as the pairing of beloved stars Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as the co-hosts brought in the biggest ratings in six years. Maybe that’ll be a lesson to the honchos who were sure that a surly British man who has had success in his homeland and on American cable might not have the biggest draw compared to two funny ladies who have captured our collective hearts for years. [EW]

No matter how you feel about Jodie Foster, Anne Hathaway, or Fey and Poehler appearance at last night’s Golden Globes, let’s all agree that Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig could probably knock the socks off all of us if they ever got the chance to host an awards show. [Hypervocal]

“Sure, it’s fine to joke about Meryl Streep always winning everything, but announcing, "I beat Meryl"? When you’re 22 and you’ve been in Hollywood for, like, a minute? Not very classy, Jen.” Seems like someone didn’t catch Jennifer Lawrence’s subtle First Wives Club reference last night. [Fox News]

My apologies to Star Wars fans, particularly those who prefer subtlety over slow-motion bouncing boobs (I’m sure there are maybe four of you): Zack Snyder, who is responsible for 300 and that giant blue penis we had to look at in Watchmen, is developing a project for Lucasfilm that will be a “Jedi epic loosely based on Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 classic Seven Samurai.” [Vulture]

Woody Allen, who prefers the term “alarmist” over “hypochondriac,” might be one of the few people in history who has written personally about hickeys in The New York Times. [NYT]

Last year, investigators reopened the case of Natalie Wood’s mysterious death, and it seems that there may be new evidence to support the claim that the actress was assaulted. [CBS]

It’s pretty obvious that Andy Cohen is perhaps the only person who can name all of the songs that fit into the Real Housewives genre of music, right? [Gawker]

AV Club offers a fantastic look at A Different World, which began as a Cosby Show spin-off and settled on its own as a top-ten primetime hit. Why hasn’t a predominantly African-American sitcom performed nearly as well in years since? [AV Club]

It’s finally time to throw out those dusty boxes of Rid you’ve been hiding under the sink, ladies. The rise in Brazilian waxes has, in turn, brought a decline in pubic lice. [Jezebel]

Do you like great writing and intelligent thoughts? Do you appreciate it when those things are delivered right to you, via your smartphone? Might I suggest you subscribe to Maura Magazine, the new product from former Village Voice music editor and brilliant badass Maura Johnston. [The Awl]

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Real Housewives Have ‘Gangnam’ Housewife Style

In what one hopes is a send-up of the Real Housewives franchise, a group of British women have parodied Gangnam Style with this very well done Housewife Style spoof.

Most of these moms are dancing in Mrs. Claus miniskirst and high heels, humping their mops and brooms as they sing, "Mop! Mop! Mop! We’ve got housewife style!"  And of course there’s an appearance by 50 Shades Of Grey. The women from Buckinghamshire are all clearly well-to-do, judging by the enviable kitchens, champagne fluts in the hot tub, golf courses and horses.

But unlike their Beverly Hills counterparts, these yummie mummies (as the Brits call them) come off as more loveable than odious: their goofy PSY spoof is raising money for Breakthrough Breast Cancer, a UK charity. 

Watch below: 

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Bravo Is Developing a ‘Heathers’ TV Series

Here’s some news from the Unnecessary Ideas file: Bravo is expanding their original scripted programming (because the Real Housewives franchise is "unscripted," you know), which would include a TV series based on the cult classic Heathers. How very, etc. 

According to The Hollywood Reporter:

The NBCUniversal-owned network, as part of its goal to have original scripted fare on the air next year, is redeveloping Heathers, the 1988 Winona Ryder and Christian Slater feature that The Big C‘s Jenny Bicks and Sony Pictures Television initially sold to Fox three years ago.

In the updated take, Heathers picks up 20 years later, with Veronica (Ryder’s character) returning home to Sherwood with her teenage daughter, who must contend with the next generation of mean girls: the Ashleys: the daughters of the surviving Heathers.

There’s been talk of a movie sequel to the classic for years—Winona Ryder herself "confirmed" that the film was in the works back in 2009 with the original creative team—but nothing much had moved forward since then. Could this be a good idea? Sure, maybe if Ryder was involved, but what are the chances that she’d stoop so low to be on a basic cable TV series? And, because it may be on Bravo and not, say, Showtime or HBO, how will the original movie’s dark treatment of sex and murder translate to a Bravo audience? I’ll believe it when I see it. 

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Reality TV Turns Confident Teen Girls Into Real Housewives

No matter how awful reality TV might be, it can always be defended as cheap, harmless fun. At least, “cheap fun:” Deadline reports that a recent study conducted by the Girl Scout Research Institute found that teen girls who watch a lot of reality programming “accept and expect a higher level of drama, aggression, and bullying in their own lives, and measure their worth primarily by their physical appearance.” Hey parents, you know that PBS is free, right?

The researchers believe much of this is because reality TV “more frequently portrays girls and women in competition with one another rather than in support or collaboration.” Apparently, plotlines involving two or more women working to embarrass a former friend at a trunk show don’t count as “support or collaboration.” Some specifics from the study say that girls who watch reality TV are more likely to think “gossiping is a normal part of a relationship between girls,” “girls often have to compete for a guy’s attention,” and that happiness is dependent on having a boyfriend. Haven’t the researchers watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians? They’re married to basketball players and are so happy!

There are some positives, however. The study finds that girls who watch reality TV are more inclined to think of themselves as leaders or role models and that the programming raises “their awareness of social issues and causes.” That’s all fine and dandy until you realize that your daughter has set a series recording for Teen Mom on your DVR. Time to bring back the V-chip.

Morning Links: DWTS Takes Heat for Casting Chaz Bono, Lady Gaga Wore a Prosthetic Penis to the VMAs

● Within hours of posting the “celebrity” line-up for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars, ABC was swarmed with comments concerning Chaz Bono’s inclusion, implying that it signals the end of family television, and isn’t he too fat to be on TV? And so on. [TheWrap] ● Lil Wayne’s Carter IV is on track to sell 700,000 to 850,000 copies in its first week, numbers that make it the year’s second-biggest debut following only Lady Gaga. It also means it will outsell Jay and Kanye by almost double. Watch what throne? [Billboard] ● Pop-savant The-Dream has put out a new album, but in order to slide under his label’s radar, he’s releasing it under his given name, Terius Nash, and for free. Get it well it’s hot. [RadioKillRecords]

● Bravo has shot a special addressing the recent suicide of Real Housewives husband Russell Armstrong, and although they’ve yet to say, it seems likely that it will be aired in concurrence with the Beverly Hills season two premier next week. [EW] ● Justin Bieber got into what you might call a fender bender yesterday, when his Ferrari was “tapped” by a Honda. Neither party reported damages, TMZ reported the news regardless. [TMZ] ● Lady Gaga wants you to know she’s serious about her male alter-ego, Jo Calderone, so she wore a prosthetic penis for “hir” VMA performance. [Us]

Morning Links: Justin and Selena Use The L-Word, Lil B Drops “I’m Gay”

● Justin Timberlake is joining recently sold MySpace as an investor with hopes of revitalizing the site in order “to bring artists and fans together in one community.” In other words, to bring sexy back. [TheWrap] ● In case the pictures of them playing on the beach, holding hands, and stealing kisses weren’t enough: Someone heard Justin tell Selena “I love you” while they were shopping at Armani Exchange. Their love, it’s so real. [Page Six] ● Amber Rose swears she didn’t send those sexy pics (very NSFW) to Nick Minaj’s boyfriend, and says that the whole thing is just another media ploy to make her miserable. “it shld be illegal to write fake stories about ppl the media never wants to see anyone happy,” she waxed on twitter. [NYDN]

● As he is wont to do, Lil B surprised everyone by dropping his self-proclaimed “historical project,” called I’m Gay, on iTunes last night. Thank You Based God. [LilBTheBasedGod/Twitter] ● Anderson Cooper is ready to come out. “You can be very serious and very passionate about [serious news] and still like NeNe Leakes,” he told AdWeek, coming clean on his affinity for Housewives. [AdWeek] ● G.O.O.D. henchman CiHi the Prynce says that Jay and ‘Ye’s Watch The Throne could be out any day now. “Those are the bosses. They might put it out yesterday,” he told MTV. “He can just put it out tomorrow if he wanted to, and that’s what ‘Ye want to do.” With initial January release dates long past, and the most recent drop-day, July 4th, quickly approaching — who knows! [MTV]

Real Housewives of O.C. Roofied at N.Y. Bar

Let’s say you and your girlfriends are out at a bar. A “middle-aged gentleman” you’ve never seen before comes over and says, “I have a special drink for you two ladies.” Would you take it? If you’re Tamra Barney and Peggy Tanous of the Real Housewives of Orange County, then yes! Yes you would. And this is how Tamra and Peggy ended up roofied and sick in a New York City hotel room this past weekend, at least according to what NYC housewife Ramona Singer told Radar Online.

Since this is coming from Ramona, who has the craziest eyes of anyone on TV apart from Charlie Sheen, her version of events is to be taken with a grain of salt. But her story is that some of the O.C. housewives were assembled in New York, out for drinks with Ramona. (Where were the other NY housewives?) The aforementioned middle-aged gentleman approached with the drugged drinks, and Tamra and Peggy were big enough space cadets to be like, “sure, we’ll take these suspicious drinks from a strange man.” Peggy drank the whole thing, in fact.

Then the girls left to go back to their hotel rooms, where they started feeling sick. Fellow O.C.’er Vicky Gunvalson (aka the only one who has a job) took care of them, which is lucky because they almost had to be hospitalized, according to Ramona. Which they probably should have been, right? I don’t know, if one of my friends was roofied it would be straight to the E.R. for them.

Do middle aged women just not know what roofies are? My generation gets scared into lifelong drink-guarding vigilance with terrifying Rohypnol horror stories every day of freshman orientation. I guess it’s possible that Vicky & Co. just grew up in a golden age before every girl everywhere had to learn to always watch their drink being made.

Links: Lindsay Lohan Back in Rehab, Seth Rogen Gets Engaged

● Lindsay Lohan has checked into a Southern California rehab facility, where she will await her next court date. Rinse, repeat, repeat, sad face, repeat. [TMZ] ● Beginning in 2012, one Star Wars film will be released in 3D every year, starting with episode one, The Phantom Menace, and assuring that all original fans are dead before George Lucas gets to the good ones. [THR] ● One of the Real Housewives of Miami will be a famous local drag queen, just to make sure everyone looks bad. [E! Online]

● Seth Rogen is now engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Lauren Miller, breaking the hearts of at least dozens of girls with a thing for the Schlubiest Man Alive. [L&S] ● Quentin Tarantino’s longtime film editor, Sally Menke, 56, passed away on Monday while hiking during Los Angeles’ hottest day on record, when temperatures hit 113 degrees. [BBC] ● Jeffrey Jones, the principal in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, pleaded guilty to failing to register as a sex offender. Legends, they fall. [HuffPo]

British Airways Stewardesses Get Even Racier

Earlier this week, we said that flight attendants were the New Real Housewives. Already, we’re finding more support for that assertion. And we’re talking about crazy Real Housewives of New Jersey stuff, not your vaguely innocent, faux classy New York ladies. We are talking, of course, about prostitution. A Hindu clergyman has been nabbed for running a high-end prostitution ring with British Airways stewardesses.

Shiv Myra Dwivedi, a supposed holy man with over 100,000 followers, was allegedly using his Sai Baba Temple in South Delhi as a front for a prostitution ring employing between 60 and 200 ladies of the night. The ladies employed were mostly students and stewardesses from British Airways and Jagson Airlines. When a police team raided Dwivedi’s temple, they found financial records for the operation, illegal drugs, and an unholy amount of pornography. Ten years ago, Dwivedi was arrested for running a prostitution ring fronted by yoga and meditation workshops, but, now, it seems flight attendants are all the rage. British Airways is investigating the allegations. Hmmm…maybe this will help push their union negotiations over the edge, end the strike, and get more money for cabin crews.