Your Daily Guide To Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

Michael McKean
Talk about a comeback. This morning’s most Googled phrase is Michael McKean, as in the actor from Laverne & Shirley and This Is Spinal Tap. He was hit by a car Tuesday afternoon on Manhattan’s Upper West Side and ended up with a broken leg. The most eye-opening things about this sad turn of events is that it brought us to McKean’s IMDB page, which made us realize dude has been in a ton of movies and we never really noticed him before. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring people together.

Lolo Jones
Also of interest to Google users this morning is gorgeous Olympic track and field hopeful Lori “Lolo” Jones, who recently announced to the world via Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel that she’s in fact a 29-year-old virgin. "It’s something, a gift I want to give my husband," she says on the show. "It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics. Harder than studying for college has been staying a virgin before marriage."

Ray J Hospitalized
Yahoo! readers are very concerned over the hospitalization of Ray J, the supposed rapper and former boyfriend of Kim Kardashian and Whitney Houston. Ray J, who’s the brother of 90s singing phenom Brandy, was put into a hospital "to recuperate from exhaustion and jet lag" after flying from China to Las Vegas for the recent Billboard Music Awards and to hawk his line of hair serums at a local salon. We’re glad you care, Yahoo!, because we’re finding it really difficult.

Bellagio Robbery
A malfunctioning can of pepper spray is what did in 24-year-old Michael Quinn Belton, who was part of a gang that tried to make off with over $100,000 in chips from Las Vegas’ Bellagio casino this weekend. When his spray, intended to disable a blackjack dealer, wouldn’t work, Belton, who had come into the club as part of a wigs- and sunglasses-wearing posse, was captured. He explained he had been recruited for the gig via Craigslist by a mysterious high-roller named Carlos Rodriguez. Now he’s sitting in a local jail with a $60,000 bond on his head—the odds on this one were never in his favor. 

Brain Tapeworms
People at Bing are holding nothing back this morning with their number one search for Brain Tapeworms, a rare but totally gnarly sounding diagnosis that can come from eating undercooked pork.  “Minimally there are 5 million cases of epilepsy from neurocysticercosis,” an expert recently told Discover magazine. So, nothing too serious to worry about but nasty nonetheless.

#100ThingsToDoBeforeIDie
This morning’s Lady Gaga death hoax isn’t all that interesting—the Little Monsters have already reclaimed RIP to mean “Really Inspiring Person”—so the next best thing is this communal bucket list.

100 Things 4

100 Things 3

100 Things 2

100 Things 1

Morning Links: T.I. Got Out Of Jail Early, David Lynch’s Paris Night Club Opens

● T.I. was released from jail a little early yesterday, which means he also got to start filming his post-prison reality show for VH1 a little early. [TMZ] ● Rihanna bought a house for $7 millions dollars, but it’s leaky so now she doesn’t want it and is suing the real estate company. [Huff Post] ● Probably because someone knew it would be funny, Kim Kardashian’s new beau, Kris Humphries, was seated on a plane next to Kim Kardashian’s sex-tape beau, Ray J. How awkward! [Page Six]

● Rappers love themselves some Basquiat. [NYT] ● Beyoncé’s baby is already making her money: 4 sprung right back into the iTunes top ten after her so-sweet Sunday night announcement. [RS] ● David Lynch’s new Paris night club, Club Silencio, looks a lot like other night clubs, except it’s probably weirder because the odd-ball director got the final say on everything, meaning even the nuts are salted exactly to his pleasing, and his pleasing alone. [Guardian]

The Most Infamous Celebrity Sex Tapes of the Last Quarter Century

Sex tapes. They’re like porn films, except dimly lit with less appealing actors. Oh, and the sound is bad. Also, sometimes the bodies are green on account of the infrared, a necessity due to the previously mentioned dim lighting. So unless you have a Kermit fetish or enjoy watching very unattractive people with inept camera sense engage in poorly directed intercourse, the average amateur sex tape probably doesn’t do it for you. That being said, celebrity sex tapes are an entirely different beast with two (or more) backs.

(‘DiggThis’) That’s mostly because half of the celebrities involved have had porn star-worthy plastic surgery. Or, they are actually having sex with porn stars. From Tonya Harding to Kim Kardashian, sex tapes featuring famous folk have become a mini-industry, sometimes pulling in millions of dollars for both celebrities and their respective video distribution company. In honor of the happy and sometimes promiscuous holiday season, the graphic below spotlights some of the most memorable celebrity sex tapes of the past two decades.