The British Royals are so hot right now, with last year’s wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton (who is now Princess Catherine, officially, which will never not make me angry because why the hell did you shorten her name to Kate-with-a-K in the first place, Catherine?) and Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee this week. The monarchy is finally sexy again, and there haven’t been any beheadings! (None that we know of, anyway.) Speaking of heads, however, the real reason anyone cares about rich, in-bred British people over on this side of the pond is that they wear funny hats. And who is more famous for wearing ridiculous hats than Beatrice, Princess of York?
You remember the crowning achievement of Princess Bea, of course, from last year’s Royal Wedding (seen above). But she has a storied past of progressive haberdashery. For example, here are some of her other looks:
A tailored, simple, black number:
Here’s one that looks like a few dead birds stuffed into her noggin!
This one is inspired by that time she was off frolicking upon the morrow or field or whatever (being a princess is exhausting!), fell down, and got a bunch of dandelion seeds stuck to her face.
It appears this guv’nor wanted to crown her with a new silver hat because loved the bamboo one so much!
I can’t. I… I can’t.
This is her "rock star look," as it resembles a guitar pick.
There is no actual physical proof that this hat was real and not just a Pixar creation.
And finally, this is what she wore to the Diamond Jubilee:
WTF, Bea? That’s it?! I hope I’m not the only one who is incredibly disappointed in Princess Bea, who missed a great opportunity for what will probably be the only royal event for the next few years that anyone outside of the U.K. will pay any attention to. (Right, like anyone cares if Prince Harry gets married.) BAD MOVE, BEA.
Oh wait, she stepped up her game:
While that blue pillbox hat with affixed backwards veil can’t rival the insanity of her famous wedding hat, which, at best, resembled the female reproductive system, I’ll give her props for recognizing that the best way to stand out is with a feathered and/or flowered eyesore resting on the top of your skull.