Prince Harry Is Engaged to Meghan Markle

 

It’s official: all of Charles and Diana’s children are off of the market. Prince Harry is now engaged to American actress Meghan Markle, according to an official statement from Clarence House.

“His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales is delighted to announce the engagement of Prince Harry to Ms. Meghan Markle,” the statement reads. “The wedding will take place in Spring 2018. Further details about the wedding day will be announced in due course.”

 

Take a look below:

 

Legally, Queen Elizabeth must bless the marriage for it to be recognized by the Crown, which she has. Markle, who was previously married to film producer Trevor Engelson, could have been forbidden from joining the royal family just a few years ago by divorce laws that have only recently been relaxed.

Markle told Vanity Fair in September: “We’re in love. I’m sure there will be a time when we will have to come forward and present ourselves and have stories to tell, but I hope what people will understand is that this is our time. This is for us. It’s part of what makes it so special, that it’s just ours. But we’re happy. Personally, I love a great love story.”

Following untoward nastiness from tabloids and internet trolls, Harry released a statement about his relationship with Markle earlier this month, asking for an end to the “wave of abuse and harassment” Markle has been subject to, and called out “the smear on the front page of a national newspaper; the racial undertones of comment pieces; and the outright sexism and racism of social media trolls and web article comments.”

 

5 Men with Whom Jennifer Lawrence Should Rebound

Photo: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com

Jennifer Lawrence is one of the hardest working and down-to-earth actresses in Hollywood, so it’s no question that the mega star can have any man at the snap of her bow-and-arrow-shooting fingertips. After making X Men co-star Nicholas Hoult an ex, man, the blonde beauty was on the hunt for a man that can hit the right note. It wasn’t long before she moved on to Gwyneth’s former man, Chris Martin, but there must have been trouble in para-para-paradise because the two are done.

In light of this news, we’ve put a little list together of who J-Law should hook up with next.

1. Chris Pine: They both star in multi-million dollar blockbusters, they both are extremely good looking, and they both are rumored to be single. These two should join forces and create a rival to reckon with Brad and Angie.
Joe-Schildhorn-2
Photo: Joe Schildhorn/BFAnyc.com

2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt: It wouldn’t come to much as a surprise and it wouldn’t be hard on the eyes either. With their talent and humor, these two would make the perfect match.
VANITY FAIR OSCAR PARTY 2014 - Red Carpet Arrivals
Photo: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com

3. Prince Harry: When you’ve dated Hollywood royalty the only, way up is actual royalty. Prince Harry of Wales is the missing piece to Jennifer’s puzzle. We know she likes the Brits, having dated Hoult, so it’s basically The Prince and Me but in real life.
Joe-Schildhorn
Photo: Joe Schildhorn/BFAnyc.com

4. Alexander Skarsgard: The model turned actor has the perfect look for Jennifer. Let’s be honest, the pair would make beautiful babies.
The New Museum and Nuit Blanche New York present Marco Brambilla's Creation (Megaplex) 3D
Photo: Matteo Prandoni/BFAnyc.com

5. Chris Evans: He’s been linked to Kate Bosworth, Emmy Rossum, and even Sandra Bullock. Chris should add Jennifer Lawrence to his list.
Stefano Tonchi, Editor in Chief, W, in partnership with Joanne Crewes, President of Global P&G Prestige, hosts The Ever Changing Face of Beauty, a video installation by Solve Sundsbo, held at New York's Park Avenue Armory
Photo: Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com

Prince Harry’s Pal Revamps London’s New No. 3 Cromwell

Prince Harry’s pal and all around glitterati-collector Howard Spooner has again decisively stolen the London nightlife conversation with this rather, well, glittering revamp of a legendary South Kensington nightspot. Once the playground of everyone from Jayne Mansfield to Sean Connery to Sir Elton (not to mention the site of a certain Jimi Hendrix’s London debut), the glamorous new incarnation of No. 3 Cromwell is now attracting supermodel sorts like David Gandy and Elle MacPherson. And no wonder. Taking up all three floors of a striking Georgian townhouse, the famous and fabulous could surely want for nothing here. 

True, the chandeliered, piano-equipped dining room (pardon, Drawing Room) is hardly a culinary game changer, dishing up a quite reasonably priced assortment of sliders and dips, aka "boozing food." But we do love that they’ve thought to have a dedicated "pudding" menu, complete with corresponding Ports and and Sauternes’. 

The Back Room cocktail bar, with its baroque trimmings and stately fireplaces, is a sure bet for tabloid-worthy celebrity snoggings (sample tipple titles: Threesome, Menage A Trois). But it’s The Basement nightclub–yes, it’s in the basement–which will be swinging in full until 3am every night. It’s got, um, padded walls…which we can only guess is intended for the safety of the royal habitués. 

Get the inside-scoop on No. 3 Cromwell.

Prince Hot Ginge, I Mean Harry, Covers ‘GQ Australia’

GQ Australia‘s latest smoldering (I mean, smouldering) cover model is Prince Hot Ginge himself.

The accompanying article in the April 2013 rhapsodizes over Prince Harry’s  princely ass:

"Let’s consider Prince Harry’s arse. We have, surely, all seen it by now — muscular, well-formed and very white. The ghost of his board shorts speaks of a long day in the hot Las Vegas sun."

But it quickly segues to the 28-year-old prince’s military career, which he recently admitted has included taking some lives in Afghanistan, and notes that he’s only become more likeable to the public after his naked-romp-in-Las-Vegas shenanagins this past summer. 

Harry also recently covered the high-end British tabloid Tatler as their "Man Of The Year." The American magazine Town & Country named him their "Most Eligible Bachelor" of 2012, beating out George Clooney and 38 other men. (Ffffttttt. Obviously.) 

Email me at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter.

How Can We Make The Royal Baby Story More Interesting?

So the biggest news story yesterday—and what, much to Tyler Coates’s dismay—will be one of the biggest news stories of the next year or so, was the announcement that Prince William and Princess Catherine are expecting a new little prince or princess to join the crazy sideshow of crazy that is the British Royal Family. With the announcement of the new little human tourist attraction will eventually come extensive media coverage that will all ultimately be pretty boring. Here, we have some suggestions for how to make the Royal Baby narrative just a bit more interesting:

* Secret underground lair of paparazzi specifically gearing up to snap those baby photos as soon as possible and effectively hound the royal family into nonexistence uncovered.

* Pippa Middleton, somewhat irked that her sister is getting so much attention basically for just doing her job, decides to focus her energy into studying foreign and economic policy. Luckily, she is a quick study and after just a few strategy sessions with international diplomats, Pippa Middleton almost singlehandedly stabilizes the Eurozone and preventing further economic turmoil. She becomes TIME Person of the Year and calls her sister when she gets the news to say, "You’ve just been PIPPA’d!" She also starts dating a member of One Direction, just because she can.

* Prince Harry, somewhat irked that his brother is getting so much attention basically for just doing his job and inspired by a movie he just saw for the first time, hatches a plan to seize the throne involving staging a wildebeest stampede, destroying his older brother and exiling his offspring from the Pridelands. 

* Newsweek releases another tacky Photoshopped cover of Princess Diana returning from beyond the graaaaaave. (Of course now, it’ll be a digital cover.

* The Royal Birth becomes a live, televised event that Kate and Wills-obsessed Yanks wake up at stupid o’clock to watch, mimosas in hand. The event is topped off with an exuberant concert at Wembley Stadium, during which the newborn is parachuted in by RAF helicopter, being held by Special Guest Star Idris Elba.

* Wills and Kate’s child eventually grows up and marries Mason Disick, officially making Scott Disick an earl or a duke or a viscount or something. This would be particularly fitting, considering that the Kardashians are kind of the closest thing America has to a royal family—they’re insanely wealthy, disproportionately influential and despite not being particularly interesting, we somehow maintain a national interest in them.

* Based on his prior service to Queen and country, Sean Bean becomes named official protector of the Royal Baby. Somehow, he is killed almost immediately via freak accident in the line of duty.

Perez Hilton Starring as Prince Harry in Off-Broadway ‘NEWSical’

First of all, I apologize for what I’m about to do to your eyeballs. Second of all, there’s an off-Brodway musical revue called NEWSical the Musical, which is a musical send-up of timely gossip items, the title of which features handy caps-locking in case you can’t decipher subtle puns like "newsical" when they’re all correctly capitalized. And who better to step into the role of recent famous nudist Prince Harry than gossip blogger / talented musical theater actor Perez Hilton? 

Did I mention nudity? Because Perez Hilton is nude in this show. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. No one has apologized to me, and I certainly didn’t make this casting decision, but I feel really bad about paying this forward and ruining your afternoon. Here are some images below, courtesy of Broadway World. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pour bleach on my face to make these images go away.

Contact the author of this post at tcoates@bbook.com and follow him on Twitter.

Naughty Prince Harry Sent To Afghanistan As Punishment, Says Taliban

Even the Taliban heard about Prince Harry’s Vegas nude photos: they were that big of a deal.

The Taliban has sniffed at the prince’s re-deployment this week to Afghanistan, calling it a publicity stunt in the wake of his embarrassing photo scandal which will be purely symbolic and dared the British forces to have Harry leave the base. A Taliban spokesman is quoted in the UK’s Telegraph

"The Prince was seen in naked pictures in England. To cover this shame, maybe he can atone by showing that he is fighting beside their soldiers in Afghanistan."

Frankly, I had the similar thoughts myself when I heard Prince Harry would be re-deployed to Afghanistan: he’s in trou-uu-bbb-le. Who knows whether the deployment was planned before the infamous game of strip pool or hastily arranged afterwards. But surely the palace and the British Army can rest assured that in Afghanistan he is going to keep. His. Drawers. On.

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr.

Vegas Lass Comes Forward About Night With Prince Harry’s Royal Jewels

It was only a matter of time before a woman came forward about her night of Patron passion with Prince Harry during his "Lost Weekend" in Las Vegas. Meet Carrie Reichert, a British blonde living in San Diego, who  made out with the prince but nothing more (because he was "so wasted … the alcohol affected him.") 

Reichert blabbed to the UK tabloid the Mirror that Harry and her friends were all hanging out by the pool at the Encore at Wynn hotel in Vegas. A friend of Harry’s asked the 32-year-old and nine other girls to come up to his "VIP high-roller suite," where the infamous game of drunken billiards (and allegedly illegal drug use) transpired. "They were just picking really pretty girls, about 10 of us," she bragged.

Harry, to put it blunted, was wasted: as Reichert tells it, the prince was rubbing his naked junk against his Vegas hotel window yelling "’Look at me Vegas, these are the royal jewels!’" "Harry was already undressed. It was just crazy. He looked actually delirious. There was a pool table and he was playing air guitar with pool sticks," she dished. "He was screaming out ‘Somebody get me a glove! I’m going to do a Michael Jackson impression!’ He would randomly walk up to you and hug you. He was just really friendly and there were just really random naked hugs."

Really really friendly, if you know what I’m saying. At some point in the evening, Harry brought Reichert alone to his bedroom … but the results were anticlimactic. "We kissed, he was naked at the time, and pretty open. It was a drunken fumble. It wasn’t romantic, just fun," she revealed. "He was a gentleman, but he was so wasted. The alcohol affected him. I was there for 15 to 20 minutes." I take that to mean she did not enjoy a taste of the royal scepter?

Eventually Carrie Reichert went back to her own room, as she said naked girls were passed out around his suite and Harry’s guy friends — who remained half-dressed — were afoot. (Presumably she was the only "blonde and petite" girl who sources said Harry went off alone with at the end of the night.)

I’m still breathlessly waiting for this alleged video of Harry prancing around naked that has yet to come out. Be patient!

Prince Harry Might Have Been Using Cocaine in Las Vegas

There’s been rumblings across the ‘net that Prince Harry’s nudie escapades in Vegas last week involved something "gigantic" and "embarrassing" and "probably not even that big of a deal, you guys, who caaaaares." As it turns out, Prince Harry was probably coked to all kinds of hell right before stripping down in front of someone with a camera phone. 

The news comes from Radar:

"Things got pretty crazy in Prince Harry’s suite that night. Everyone was drinking and drugs were also being used by some people," the eyewitness who was present at Harry’s party exclusively revealed to RadarOnline.com.

"Some people were snorting cocaine,” the eyewitness told RadarOnline.com exclusively. The eyewitness asked to remain anonymous due to the magnitude of the scandal.

The new information comes two days after a report in a Las Vegas paper said that the nude photos of the Party Prince’s wild weekend were merely the beginning of the scandal and that “something gigantic” had not yet been revealed.

The source at the party saw cocaine being used and also told Radar exclusively that a number of the guests were on drugs when they arrived at his suite.

“Some were already rolling on shrooms (hallucinogenic mushrooms) when they arrived at the party, and some were just high on weed. And that’s exactly why no one there has come forward on the record…they don’t want to be implicated for any illegal activities," the source revealed to Radar.

The source did not see Prince Harry use cocaine or any other illegal drugs but also was not with the Prince during the entire party.

What’s that? Someone who is rich was in Las Vegas and around people who were using drugs? What a shocker. I mean, we can even give Prince Harry the benefit of the doubt; I’ve been around people who were using cocaine, but I have never used the stuff myself. (I can be an asshole at a party without it, thank you very much.) Of course, Prince Harry comes from a long line of people who are kind of the worst. Considering that most people think of the royal family as either a bunch of boring old white people or a bunch of ugly old white people who murdered a lot of people including their own wives, I think Prince Harry’s possible affinity for blow is kinda disappointing.