Colorado Restaurant Offers Weed and Sushi Pairing Menu

An inanely easy math equation:

(people) + (weed) = people high on weed hungry for food

It’s an age-old quandary, and entire plot to the Kal Penn/John Cho vehicle,  Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle: stoned people enjoy eating food. Am I blowing your mind?

Almost as much as I’m thrilled that Colorado has legalized marijuana, I’m also enjoying the major news networks’ coverage of the precedent event. The mainstream news outlets are simply having a field day by sending their most straight-laced reporters into marijuana facilities so they can ask guys with dreadlocks the difference between Kush and the Bammy.

Since we live in a capitalistic society, one credo rings true: where there’s supply, there’s demand; a greater number of marijuana users in Colorado means an increase in munchies. Keeping that in mind, a Colorado sushi restaurant chain is gearing its menu towards weed-orientated clientele. (Ready for a joke?) Looks like this place deals in high-class dining! (Insert laughter here.)

Hapa Sushi began its pro-weed menu back in 2009, catering to the medical marijuana crowd. The pro-weed Boulder/Denver chain features “menu pairings” to go along with what you’ve been inhaling.  (The also have a gluten-free menu for those who don’t like gluten – but that’s off topic.)

So what’s on the menu?

Here are some of the suggested dinner-and-dope combinations:

  • Pakalolo Shrimp with Pakistani Kush
  • Honey Miso Salmon with Sour OG
  • Katsu Curry with Blue Dream

I highly recommend trying the Pot Stickers – they have nothing to do with weed, they just taste really delicious. Hapa Sushi’s ad points out that the restaurant has been “ergonomically designed to reduce paranoia.” (Yes, but can you tell those unagi rolls to quit staring at me!?)

I’m just waiting for the day where they open the very first cocaine-friendly Chinese restaurant where an hour after eating you’re simply hungry for more cocaine.

America Apparently Surprised That 18-Year-Old Millionaire Might Use Drugs

Someone lined their pockets earlier this week selling photographs of Justin Beiber smoking something that looks like marijuana. TMZ’s pics allegedly show the Biebs inside a Newport Beach hotel room three days ago with friends, holding some kind of cigarette or blunt in his hand. He cryptically took to Twitter with the usual Miley Cyrus-esque allegations of learning and growing.

The chatty sources told TMZ that Bieber’s security was present at the party, but no one seems to mind that his "BFF" Lil Twist was rolling joints and randoms were photographing Justin holding — nay, smoking! — them. This has me wondering if rumors that Justin Beiber is a jerkface are true and that his security team doesn’t give a shit about babysitting him, i.e. he just got Bush-twinned.

Justin Bieber’s tweets addressing the scandal are typically pop star-ish in that they admit nothing but generally apologize for letting down the fans. 

Oh my God. It is just pot. Shut up. Who cares?

Frankly I just feel sorry for anyone so detached from reality that they think an 18-year-old millionaire isn’t doing drugs. If marijuana is the only thing he’s smoking, Scooter Braun should thank his lucky stars.

Contact the author of this post at Follow me on Twitter.

Colorado Legalizes Marijuana, Munchies To Follow

Last night, in addition to throwing their electoral votes to Obama, Colorado voters passed Amendment 64, legalizing the use of marijuana for recreational purposes (as did voters in Washington)—which puts state law in contention with federal. But Governer John Hickenlooper had been opposed to the referendums in question and cautioned his constituency not to “break out the Cheetos and Goldfish too quickly.”

You know something? I think Hickenlooper is right. We shouldn’t bust out the junk food too fast. First we should actually smoke some of that sweet, sweet, semi-legal reefer. Ahh. Can’t get the munchies without getting high, right? Afterward, let’s head out and see a big outdoor concert with lots of lasers. The weather will be crisp and fresh; the stars will look immaculate above. We can follow this up with a nice dinner out, maybe to that romantic little Szechuan place we’ve been enjoying recently. Then we can go home and have some mind-blowing, super-stoned sex, because let’s face it: the stuff makes you horny.

Then, when we’re lying sprawled and sweaty on the bed, and someone has turned the TV on out of sheer exhaustion, and a few more quiet moments have passed, that’s when I’d like you to turn to me and say “Are you still hungry? We’ve got some Goldfish or Cheetos in the pantry, I think.” Sounds great! I’ll try not to get any crumbs in the sheets, but no promises. And God Bless Potmerica, baby.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Rihanna Makes ‘Happy 420’ YouTube Video in June

Uncouth singles artist Rihanna is apparently not done doing anything and everything she can to get any and every kind of attention. Her latest stunt? This 16-second black-and-white YouTube video, uploaded yesterday, during which Princess RiRi blows out a thick cloud of smoke before announcing, "Happy 420!" Too bad it’s June, you uncouth stoner. 


[via ONTD]