New ‘Arrested Development’ Trailer Reunites Viewers With Old Friends, Introduces An Ostrich

Arrested Development is almost here, and for those who are fans of the show but perhaps unwilling to travel to London and overpay to eat at a real frozen banana stand, the final trailer for the new season is generating some excitement. And here’s what you have to look forward to in the new season, according to the clip. 

Michael! George! Oscar! Lucille! Gob! Tobias! Buster! Lindsay! George Michael! Maeby! Streaming! The stair car! Michael moves to Phoenix! An ostrich! "The Final Countdown!" George Michael goes to college! George Michael also has a poster up in his dorm room that literally just says "Music," which is kind of amazing! And he still has feelings for Maeby! Of course he does! Tobias’ failed acting ambitions! Buster still dealing with Oedipus complex! Judy Greer returns as Kitty Sanchez! Lupus! Illusions! Buster stammer-screaming for Lucille! Juice boxes! Buster still has a hook! 

Linkage: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Are Dunzo, Woody Allen’s New Flick Gets a Title

Taylor Swift and One Direction’s Harry Styles have broken up. I, for one, haven’t been this devastated since Taylor Swift broke up with that Kennedy kid. Alas, at least this means Swift will have enough material for at least three songs on her next album. (I’m guessing she’s been drafting some lyrics on that boat.) I’m hoping at least one of them is about Styles’s second set of nipples. (It’d be a good dig in a song called “I Could Never Love You (As Much As You Love Yourself)”) [NY Daily News, Gawker]

Woody Allen’s latest project has a name: Blue Jasmine. It also has a million people in it, including Alec Baldwin, Cate Blanchett, Bobby Cannavale, Louis C.K., Andrew Dice Clay, Sally Hawkins, and Peter Sarsgaard. Here’s hoping Andrew Dice Clay plays the regular Woody Allen doppelganger. [Splitsider]

Rapper / weed enthusiast The Game took a break from scarfing down peanut butter-covered Fritos and DiGiorno pizzas to make some comments following Justin Bieber’s alleged marijuana use: “Let’s keep it real. There’s a lot of people in high positions…who smoke a little weed sometimes. I’m not saying it’s okay…but [Bieber] made a mistake.” I’m totally surprised that his statement wasn’t more to the point. [SOHH]

Last year, New York pizza joint L’Asso sent me a calendar featuring pizzas in sexy poses. (One included a pizza wearing assless chaps. I know it’s hard to picture, but just go with it.) It looks like someone else has figured out exactly what I’d like to put on my wall in 2013: a calendar featuring women covered in manure. [The Gloss]

“I chose Ellen as Jesus because of the incredibly positive impact she’s had on the masses. When she came out as gay on television her career took an unjust beating, and she rose form the ashes to become more powerful and well-liked than ever. Portia de Rossi was the easy choice as Mary Magdalene. The only other character I wanted to match up historically was Judas. Despite her status as a fictional character, I absolutely had to choose Shane McCutcheon from ‘The L Word’ as Judas because of her notoriously bad behavior in relationships.” Art, you guys. [HuffPo]

James Franco. Justin Bieber. This link placed here solely for SEO purposes. [Observer]

Bones is returning for a ninth season, which only makes me wonder if anyone can bother to explain to me what the hell Bones is about. [EW]

Brad Pitt has been banned from China, and Paris Hilton has been banned from Japan. Too bad I can’t ban them from my brain HA HA HA AM I RIGHT? [Flavorwire]

Apparently we should all be friends with Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia on Facebook. [Creeper Status]

Here’s a video of a dude falling off a skateboard. You know you need it today. [Hypervocal]

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Eddie Izzard Is Grandpa Munster

It’s a given that Mockingbird Lane, NBC’s remake of The Munsters, is going to be a bit cheesy. But if it puts Eddie Izzard on American television — which it does, as Grandpa Munster — it’s a price we should be willing to pay.

Izzard stars alongside Portia de Rossi as Lily, Mason Cook as Eddie, and Jerry O’Connell as Herman Munster. Cheyenne Jackson even makes an appearance as a Boy Scout leader — wink, wink, nice casting there. It’s airing on Friday, October 26, as a one-hour drama for a night of Halloween-themed programming. But TV Line reports if Mockingbird Lane does well, may be picked up as a series. 

Get your Izzard fix in the trailer below:

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Links: Demi Lovato Heads to Rehab, Charlie Sheen Files for Divorce

● Disney singer Demi Lovato has left her tour with the Jonas Brothers in order to treat “emotional and physical issues” believed to be an eating disorder and cutting. Mamas, don’t let your daughters grow up to be Disney stars. [LAT] ● Pop star Lily Allen, who recently announced she was pregnant and due in January, had a second miscarriage this week. [People] ● Bill Maher claims the joint Zach Galifianakis sparked on his show was “cloves or something.” We were born at night, but not last night, Mr. Maher. You’re grounded. [Vulture]

● Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller filed for divorce today, amid swirling reports that Sheen was off the deep end on a cocaine bender and could “die this week.” Ladies, you heard that right — Charlie Sheen is on the market. [People] ● Portia de Rossi opened up to Oprah about her eating disorder — she was down to 82 pounds in the ’90s — in advance of her upcoming memoir, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, which gets an A for “awesome title.” [PopEater] ● The inimitable announcer from Wheel of Fortune, Charlie O’Donnell, died Monday at the age of 78. [Variety]

Links: Katy Perry Banned From Sesame Street, Portia Takes on Ellen’s Name

● Katy Perry’s boobs practically suffocated Elmo, leading her Sesame St. video to be banned from TV. The clip is still available online, where many boys will become men. [TMZ] ● Meanwhile, Perry’s boyfriend, Russel Brand, is still under investigation for a run-in with a photographer who allegedly tried to shoot up Katy’s skirt. Big Bird, who tried to cop a feel, is still on the loose. [E! Online] ● Emma Stone and Mia Wasikowska are being considered to play Spider-Man’s love interests, Mary-Jane and Gwen Stacy, in the upcoming Andrew Garfield version. [EW]

● A Los Angeles court granted actress Portia de Rossi’s request to take the last name of Ellen Degeneres, her wife since 2008, making it Portia Lee James DeGeneres to you. [HuffPo] ● Mel Gibson is being sued by a construction company, who alleges he’s fallen behind on payments for his personal chapel. Yes, Mel Gibson has his own church. [E! Online] ● Aaron Tveit, of the upcoming Howl, claims that Blake Lively is a better kisser than James Franco. But Franco’s kisses are art. [People]