Linkage: Greta Gerwig Still Has Roommates, M.I.A. Shares New Song

“I recognize that maybe I should be at a point where I stop having roommates, but I’m not," says Greta Gerwig, who, with all of her successes, still shares a space with two others. "I like living with people." [NYM]

Meet the fictional one percent — Forrest Gump, Carlisle Cullen and C. Montgomery Burns among them — and the fictional 99 percent. Chins up, Oliver Twist, Katniss Everdeen and Ron Weasley: the people — fictional or otherwise — united, will never be defeated. [Forbes/Flavorwire]

Last night on twitter, M.I.A. shared a snippet of  "Come Walk With Me," a new song presumably off her upcoming album Matangi. It bangs. [MIAuniverse/Twitter]

Warner Bros. is hoping to one-up Disney with a "darker version" of Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book, written and directed by Harry Potter‘s Steve Kloves, and starring a real life Mowgli and maybe some CGI-assisted lions and tigers and bears. [IndieWire]

President Obama gets down to the Snowman, it seems. "In my first term I sang Al Green. IN my second term, I’m going with Young Jeezy," he joked at Saturday’s Correspondents’ Dinner. "Michelle said, ‘Yeaaah.’ I sing that to her sometimes." [RapRadar]

Kanye and Kim wore coordinating leather pants on a recent date; Kanye, however, seemed to have issues keeping his up. [YBF]

Over the weekend, Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsy pried a teenage driver from his crushed Mustang after it flipped right outside Dempsey’s home. Ryan Gosling, we hear, was busy that day. [TMZ]

Win Jack Nicholson’s Magic Tie

imageMy momma always told me I should put on a suit and tie, get a job, and stop taking bong hits with my Cheerios in the morning. I never listened — and now look at me (I haphazardly type this, shoeless and penniless, from a dingy cybercafe in Ciudad del Este, Paraguay, and my prospects don’t seem to be brightening, but I digress). At 32 years of age, it is far too late for me and my tie-less ways. Wall Street, Main Street, and several other prominent paved streets sadly passed me by without my learning how to tie a cravat. On the flipside, there are plenty of highly motivated people with stories of great tie-related success. And luckily for tie-strapped folks such as myself, they would like to bestow their suit-and tie-related winning ways on those less fortunate. That’s precisely where nonprofit org Career Gear comes in.

Starting June 5, they’ll begin auctioning off the autographed ties of celebs like Jack Nicholson (wrinkled yet oddly studly ties), Kevin Spacey (who must have a great tie closet), Eric Bana (Vegemite-stained ties) Patrick Dempsey (Sexiest Tie Alive?) Sean Avery (pugnacious, fashionable, yet a bit of an asshole ties?) and Andre 3000 (fresh, dapper, Hot-lanta ties) to raise money and awareness for their mission:

to assist disadvantaged men build a career, gain confidence, become community leaders and start a future for themselves and their families. The men Career Gear serves come from all walks-of-life, but are disconnected for one reason or another — and the gift of a suit and a tie can literally transform how they see themselves.

As you can tell, it’s a nifty cause, and you’ll get a sharp, actual celeb-worn tie, which I’m told are great conversation starters at both the office water cooler or when cashing your unemployment checks.

Patrick Dempsey’s Adventurous Finish

imageAnother day, another celeb shilling stinky scent. The latest to smell up magazines will be Patrick (“Can’t Buy Me Love”) Dempsey, who’s pitching an Avon scent called “Unscripted” with the tagline, “Follow Your Passion.” Randy! Daring! Due on shelves in November, the cologne’s press release waxes poetic: “it has a woody green scent that expresses the freedom of the open road with fresh, aromatic cardamom and invigorating cracked black peppercorn. At the heart, a sensual mix of fig and crisp lavender enrich the experience with a warm, sophisticated texture. The drydown reveals an unusual twist — a bold blend of exclusive leatherwood and patchouli heart wrapped in earthy vetiver and rich musk for an authentic, adventurous finish.”

Drydown? Musk? Sensual? Vetiver? I can’t tell if that makes me horny or hungry. Maybe both? Anyway, Avon is really psyched. “We are so excited to offer consumers around the world a glimpse into Patrick’s passion for life through this new premium fragrance,” says Avon’s prexy. “Patrick is one of the most respected, talented and successful actors of our generation.” And he also has a warm, sophisticated texture of his own.