Paris Hilton, Music Icon, Is Working on an ‘Electro-Pop’ Album

 

Stop everything because Paris Hilton is releasing a new album. The admittedly problematic icon (she allegedly voted for Trump) who brought us such cultural treasures as The Simple Life and “that’s hot” has revealed she’s hard at work on the follow-up to the groundbreaking 2006 LP Paris. While we don’t expect any track to reach the level of “Stars Are Blind” – which will be a bop until the day we die – we are admittedly intrigued.

In an interview with Time, she talked about the “whole new sound” she’s creating, and did divulge that it’ll be a mix of “deep house, techno-pop and electro-pop.” There’s no official release date for the record yet, but seeing as Hilton is busy being the highest paid female DJ in the world, and creating techno remixes of Oasis’ “Wonderwall,” we expect we’ll be waiting awhile.

In the meantime, bask in the glory of her musical genius.

 

Linkage: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Are Dunzo, Woody Allen’s New Flick Gets a Title

Taylor Swift and One Direction’s Harry Styles have broken up. I, for one, haven’t been this devastated since Taylor Swift broke up with that Kennedy kid. Alas, at least this means Swift will have enough material for at least three songs on her next album. (I’m guessing she’s been drafting some lyrics on that boat.) I’m hoping at least one of them is about Styles’s second set of nipples. (It’d be a good dig in a song called “I Could Never Love You (As Much As You Love Yourself)”) [NY Daily News, Gawker]

Woody Allen’s latest project has a name: Blue Jasmine. It also has a million people in it, including Alec Baldwin, Cate Blanchett, Bobby Cannavale, Louis C.K., Andrew Dice Clay, Sally Hawkins, and Peter Sarsgaard. Here’s hoping Andrew Dice Clay plays the regular Woody Allen doppelganger. [Splitsider]

Rapper / weed enthusiast The Game took a break from scarfing down peanut butter-covered Fritos and DiGiorno pizzas to make some comments following Justin Bieber’s alleged marijuana use: “Let’s keep it real. There’s a lot of people in high positions…who smoke a little weed sometimes. I’m not saying it’s okay…but [Bieber] made a mistake.” I’m totally surprised that his statement wasn’t more to the point. [SOHH]

Last year, New York pizza joint L’Asso sent me a calendar featuring pizzas in sexy poses. (One included a pizza wearing assless chaps. I know it’s hard to picture, but just go with it.) It looks like someone else has figured out exactly what I’d like to put on my wall in 2013: a calendar featuring women covered in manure. [The Gloss]

“I chose Ellen as Jesus because of the incredibly positive impact she’s had on the masses. When she came out as gay on television her career took an unjust beating, and she rose form the ashes to become more powerful and well-liked than ever. Portia de Rossi was the easy choice as Mary Magdalene. The only other character I wanted to match up historically was Judas. Despite her status as a fictional character, I absolutely had to choose Shane McCutcheon from ‘The L Word’ as Judas because of her notoriously bad behavior in relationships.” Art, you guys. [HuffPo]

James Franco. Justin Bieber. This link placed here solely for SEO purposes. [Observer]

Bones is returning for a ninth season, which only makes me wonder if anyone can bother to explain to me what the hell Bones is about. [EW]

Brad Pitt has been banned from China, and Paris Hilton has been banned from Japan. Too bad I can’t ban them from my brain HA HA HA AM I RIGHT? [Flavorwire]

Apparently we should all be friends with Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia on Facebook. [Creeper Status]

Here’s a video of a dude falling off a skateboard. You know you need it today. [Hypervocal]

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Bret Easton Ellis Agrees With Paris Hilton About Gays & AIDS

Great minds think alike!  One-man peanut gallery Bret Easton Ellis has tweeted that he "kind of" agrees with Paris Hilton’s dumb-ass comments about promiscuous gays on Grindr all having AIDS, because … well … what would this scandal be without Ellis weighing in, really?

Earlier this week Hilton was recorded by a cab driver discussing Grindr, which I think needs no introduction here, and Paris Hilton-ly squealed:

Gay guys are the horniest people in the world. They’re disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS…I would be so scared if I was a gay guy. You’ll like, die of AIDS.

First of all, shut up, Paris Hilton. Like you should be calling anyone disgusting.

Second of all, gay guys are not the horniest people in the world: evangelical Christian and Satmyr Jew teenagers are, obviously.

But I suppose that is neither here nor there, but American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis  weighed in on Twitter yesterday to add his two cents:

I kind of agree with Paris Hilton. As someone who has used Grindr? Paris Hilton is not that far off. 

What an excellent example of a damaging culture sterotype being promoted by someone who should know better. 

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr

Afternoon Links: Paris Hilton’s Return to Music, Zac Efron Drops a Condom

● Paris Hilton makes a sultry — or, as sultry as one can be while saying things like, "No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore" and "I’m too lazy to type, so I send a photo I took up a dancer’s skirt" — return to music with "Drunk Text," a spoken word collaboration with electro-duo Manufactured Superstars. Maybe it could be art, if you let it. [VV]

● First things first: the graying James Mercer dies in The Shins’ first (and most Royal Tenenbaums-inspired!) video in five years. [Spinner]

● Jennifer Aniston has no interest in a big screen Friends reunion. "I can’t imagine how you would do it, unless you did it years from now," she tells The Hollywood Reporter. "I can’t imagine what that would be. It’s not normal. Friends is in your living room; Friends is not in a movie theater. It doesn’t make sense to me. I think it would be going against its authentic self." [THR]

● Woops! Zac Efron let what appears to be a gold-foiled condom slip from his pocket on the Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax red carpet. At least he’s being safe. [Huff Post]

● None other than Angelina Jolie wrote the forward for Billy Bob Thornton’s upcoming memoir, The Billy Bob Tapes: A Cave Full of Ghosts. [PageSix]

● James Murphy was not just impressed by Dan Albarn and André 3000 — he was totally "awestruck" by them. "I was really stunned at how good Damon and André are as technical musicians," he tells Pitchfork of their Converse collaboration. "They could both sit down and play the piano really well, and I was just like, ‘Um, I can hit stuff.’" [Pitchfork]

Morning Links: Kanye West Announces Plans For DONDA, Zoey D. & Ben Gibbard File For Divorce

Something happened last night on Kanye West’s twitter: over three hours and in 70 or so tweets, he unveiled plans for a magical and mysterious enterprise he calls DONDA, after his late mother. “We need to pick up where steve jobs left off,” he said, and so he is looking to bring in all sorts of people to do all sorts of things like, uh, teach math, design a new MTV awards, and help him with his new seven-screen experience. Or something. It’s contactDONDA@gmail.com, if you think you can help! [HuffPost/KanyeWest Twitter]

● Two months after announcing their separation, Ben Gibbard and Zoey Deschanel have finally and officially filed for divorce. "We’re friendly," Deschanel says. "It’s all fine." [Spinner]

● Paris Hilton says that her products — "I have 35 stores and 17 product lines. And then there’s my racing team, my 14 fragrances and my new project, the Paris Hilton Beach Club chain” — have made her a cool $1.3 billion. [Gossip Cop]

● Jonathan Safran Foer says that once-vegan Natalie Portman "is going to make a movie" of his go veg book, Eating Animals. [Just Jared]

● Lana Del Rey has signed on to Next Model Management, where she’ll look pretty with other It Girls like Jessie J and Alexa Chung. Now about that album… [NME]

● An Ohio man stabbed his friend who didn’t even know that Beyoncé and Jay-Z were married. And while we were all on Babyoncé watch? The audacity… [Fox8]

● Do you play the guitar or the bass, and do you look cool doing it? Abel Tesfaye of The Weeknd is apparently going on tour, and he wants you to be a part of his backing band. [The Fader]

Morning Links: Paris Hilton Caught With Suspicious Powder, Justin Bieber’s Most Influential Hair

● Paris Hilton swears that suspicious white powder in her SUV is foundation meant to go on her nose, not up it. [TMZ]

● Still barely a teenager, Elle Fanning tells Teen Vogue that she should "much rather look like a two-year-old than a 21-year-old." [Us]

● Justin Bieber and Emma Watson’s respective coifs have not surprisingly been deemed most influential of 2011. [E!]

● Part of Taylor Swift’s new year’s resolution is to "make departures in little ways" and to "make collaborations in different directions that aren’t exactly expected." T.I., T-Pain, we see you! [Huff Post]

● Kings of Leon’s Caleb Followill and Lily Aldridge are expecting their first child together. [E!]

● For what it’s worth, Ron Paul’s got Kelly Clarkson’s vote, and maybe Michelle Branch’s, too. [Vice]

● American Airlines lost Rachel Zoe’s luggage, the “Tom Ford for Gucci vintage leather jacket and Missoni caftans" included. We die for her! [Page Six]

Morning Links: Nancy Grace Nip Slip, Kim Kardashian Already Ditching Her Ring

● Woops! Nancy Grace suffered a nip-slip during last night’s quick-step routine on Dancing With The Stars. “On the European version,” host Tom Bergeron joked, “that would be just fine.” [Gawker] ● The L Word‘s Leisha Hailey was kicked of a Southwest flight for kissing her girlfriend on the “family” airline. [TMZ] ● Paris Hilton, who is in India to launch several Paris Hilton stores, spent an afternoon driving around in her SUV and handing out $100 bills to people she thought looked poor. [TMZ]

● Kim Kardashian is already sick of wearing her $1 million dollar wedding ring. [Us] ● It was no coincidence that Nicki Minaj and Anna Wintour were seen sitting front row together again and again during Fashion Week — apparently the Vogue editrix invited the colorful Minaj along. [NYDN] ● New Jersey Governor Chris Christie wants nothing to do with the Jersey Shore and has blocked the $420,000 film credit that had been approved for the show last week. Tax payers, worry not: your precious dollars will not be helping to support Snooks’ spray-tan habit. [AP]

Morning Links: Lady Gaga Gets ‘The Simpsons’ Treatment, Alexa Chung Gets A Lifetime Show

● Rumors had it yesterday that Will and Jada Smith were headed for divorce. The couple themselves, as well as their son Trey, went out of their way to say otherwise. This morning, a still suspicious TMZ is reporting that the family is headed on a vacation together, during which they’ll try to mend whatever it is that might be broken. [TMZ] ● According to official toxicology reports, Amy Winehouse was clear of illegal drugs at the time of her death. And while the results do indicate that there was alcohol present in her system, “it cannot be determined as yet if it played a role in her death.” [People] ● Lady Gaga is getting The Simpsons treatment. Gaga will voice a character based on herself, but is “a little bit of a slut.” “The apple doesn’t fall far from my artistic tree,” she said. [NYP]

● It girlAlexa Chung is getting a show on Lifetime called 24-hour Catwalk, wherein designers compete against one another on the runway. All of which sounds a lot like that other show where designers compete against each other, the one that Heidi Klum hosts, also on Lifetime… [Page Six] ●Despite expressed interest, Levi Johnston says he’s too busy promoting his book, Deer in Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs, to actually run for mayor of Wasillia. Shame. [NYDN] ● Oxygen is canceling Paris Hilton’s latest series, Life With Paris, after just one, very unsuccessful season. [NYM]

Morning Links: Roseanne Barr Returns to Sitcom, Justin Bieber Doesn’t Get Why You Think He’s a Brat

● Now that Rebecca Black is so famous, the kids at school can’t seem to quit it with the day of the week jokes. The teasing has gotten so bad that her mom has decided to home school Black. [TMZ] ● Cynics be gone! Jennifer “Baby” Grey things the Dirty Dancing remake is going to be special. [USA Today] ● Great news – Roseanne Barr is returning to the wonderful world of sitcom with a project called Downwardly Mobile, a show that sounds almost exactly like Roseanne. Viva la Roseanne revolution. [THR]

● Former fameball Paris Hilton is growing old and getting serious, heading to the Philippines this weekend where she’ll announce her first commercial real estate venture. Daddy Hilton couldn’t possibly have had a hand in this. [PageSix] ● Drake has confirmed that, along with the previously reported hand from Steve Wonder, his buddy The Weeknd has been helping him out with Take Care. “Not only did he inspire me to get out there and sing better on stage, he inspired me writing wise, music wise, just to better my product,” he said of his fellow Torontonian. [NahRight] ● The internet’s fallen head-over-Prada-ed heel for @CondeElevator’s anonymous dispatches from the Condé Nast elevator banks. If only we could figure out the genius behind it. Will the real @CondeElevator please stand up? [AtlanticWire] ● Justin Bieber has no idea why you think he’s a brat. [TMZ]