If You’re Going All-Ass, Jean Paul Goude Might as Well Take the Pic

The goal? To #breaktheinternet. The woman up to the task? Kim Kardashian.

It’s true, of course. She is. People are talking, and what they’re saying kind of isn’t the point. All one needs to #breaktheinternet is to be the topic of conversation, and Kim Kardashian West has proved herself able to do this time and time again.

If you’re going to take such a photo, as Kardashian is already wont to do on her own, (case in point below) then one way to add some high-fashion cred is to have photographer Jean-Paul Goude (responsible for Chanel campaigns and of course, the image of Carolina Beaumont that predates one of the two covers, the Champagne Incident), behind the lens.

Kim_cover_web_2

Though it’s pure speculation, Kim seems, to the psychologist’s daughter in me, to be ever-conflicted–a part of her eager and willing to embrace her own sexuality, that famous butt, etc. but still desperate to fit in with the cool kids (the Anna Wintours and Beyonces–yes, even post-Vogue cover)–and in that sense, this photograph, whatever our personal reactions may be, works to Kim’s advantage entirely, allowing her the best of each world.

#NoFilter

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

Two Reasons You Have to Go To Webster Hall Tonight

The 8th Annual Paper Nightlife Awards will be held tonight at Webster Hall and everybody is going. These are the Oscars of nightlife, and so watching what the nominees and guests are wearing is everything. The categories are divided into two parts that People’s Choice and Paper Magazine have chosen. The People’s Choice part was infamous for ballot-stuffing, but they seem to have made it harder to just keep clicking that button for yourself or your favorite employer. The public gets to vote on: 
– BEST NYC PROMOTER
– BEST CLUB SONG
– BEST NIGHT TO GO OUT
– BEST MEGA DJ(S) WITH ONE NAME
– BEST MEGA CLUB IN THE USA
– BEST NY PARTY MUSEUM
I’d like to give an award to the person who came up with those categories.

The Paper chosen winners will come from a heavily skewed "new" list because that’s the way they want to roll. The categories here are:
– BEST PARTY
– BEST BAR/LOUNGE
– BEST HOTEL WITH A NIGHTLIFE SCENE
– BEST ARTY PARTY SPOT, BEST DJ
– BEST PART-TIME DJ
– BEST RESTAURANT WITH A NIGHTLIFE SCENE
– BEST CLUB
– BEST BEER GARDEN
– BEST NIGHTLIFE SOCIAL MEDIA STAR
– BEST NIGHTLIFE PERSONALITY

I don’t believe in "the best" in nightlife. Besides, if there was a best it would probably be over and on to the next by the time you are done reading this. The best of anything in nightlife – and don’t let anyone tell you differently – is what you like. To many, Lit Lounge is nirvana, and to others it’s a pigsty, a hole in the wall that smells bad and plays music nobody has ever heard of. But those are the same reasons why it’s nirvana to so many. These days, a joint could be the greatest show on Earth one night and a nightmare on any other. Clubs are no longer all things to all people as they have become very specific.

DJs, on the other hand, tend to trend, and it is common to hear the same tracks as you bop from one joint to another. Paper’s DJ category does seem to reward those less likely to play predictably. In that category, my favorite DJ not named Paul Sevigny or Jonathan Toubin is nominated. That’s Elle Dee. I love the "BEST PART-TIME DJ" category as it recognizes the "everybody is a DJ” era that I have become so involved in. Paper has been around for a long time, and some of the players who made it great are still around and as credible as anyone to give these awards. One of those venerable Paper players is the sparkling Mickey Boardman, who is celebrating his birthday today and tonight.

While I am out and about and at Webster Hall, I will certainly stop by Riot Avenue, my Thursday DJ partner Sam Valentine’s weekly Wednesday event there. Sam will be joined by Avi Miller. Among the hosts is the absolutely fantastic Bless Fantastic.

This Friday there’s a party across the pond that I wish I could attend. Old friend, DJ, producer, composer, innovator Larry Thom better known as Larry Tee will celebrate his birthday at Larry Tee’s Super Electric Party Machine at East Bloc, 217 City Road, London, England. I don’t even like to travel uptown so I send best wishes to one of the best.

From Nightlife Awards to CMJ: It’s Going to be a Busy Week of Parties

I’m very excited about the 9th AnnualPaper Nightlife Awards—which, on paper, looks like a hell of a good time. They’re stepping up big time with talk show heroine Chelsea Handler hosting and Ciara, who graces the September cover, will perform . The gala is this Thursday October 17th at Marquee (289 10th Avenue.) DJ Kitty Cash will fill in the blanks.

The categories include: Best Party, Best Club Night, Best Bar, Best DIY Space, Best Restaurant with a Nightlife Scene, Best Club Song, Best Hotel With a Nightlife Scene, Best New Club, Best Indie Designer with a Nightlife Influence, Best DJ, Best Nightlife Personality and Best Night To Go Out. That last category confuses me—is it the same as Best Club Night? Do they give an award to …Thursday’s? Who accepts the award? Paper has always been around—like 29 years now. The nightclub scene can be seen like flash cards by exploring the covers of the hundreds of magazines that they have put out with pride and that Paper vision. They have always remained true to their school and have been rewarded with viability over decades.

Their press release says it so eloquently I decided not to change a word: “Over 29 years of experience has made PAPER one of the most credible, authentic and organic brands in the business. As a style leader, PAPER aims to explore pop culture just beyond the scope of the mainstream in order to expose our readers to the groundbreaking ideas that will influence the trends of tomorrow. PAPER is an indispensible style, cultural and entertainment guide catering to our highly influential audience. For the past 17 years, PAPERMAG.com has been the online source for those leading a lifestyle that revolves around music, fashion, nightlife and the arts.”

Friend of the family Rudy Temiz, and his band Bushwick Hotel, will be performing a CMJ showcase at the Bowery Electric Tonight at 9:30 P.M. There will be lots of other acts, but I don’t know them and this CMJ thing doesn’t really interest me all that much. Rudy will also have an event on Thursday, which conflicts with the Paper event and my DJ gig at Hotel Chantelle after—but is certainly worth mentioning. His art collective will have an opening reception called “Kevin Loves Catherine,” featuring the work of Kevin Marcell and Cathrine Westergaard at c24 Gallery (514 W 24th Street between 10th and 11th.) Actually, I’ll just sneak around after or during Marquee.There’s lots of stuff going on at this opening, including a screening of Catherine’s  never-before-screened “Graffiti of the Young Man’s Mind.” Rudy rolls deep. Wherever he is, I know there will be lots of bright and beautiful people and cool stuff to see. I’m there.

The world seems to be tilting me towards the mid-twenties a lot. Pernod has me heading to the NoMad Hotel (1170 Broadway at 27th Street) tonight. They’re teaming up with fashion/music label Maison Kitsune, releasing a limited addition Pernod Absinthe bottle. There will be cocktails and stuff, and a crowd I’m sure that will be unbeknownst to me. Me and the gal watched a bunch of Dracula movies last night for real and I’m totally in an Absinthe frame of mind, plus, I wanted to use unbeknownst in a sentence.   Last but not least, is the opening party for Bristle + Creme—a cool, cool hair and such salon (416 Third Avenue @ 30th Street.) They have a coffee bar as well. My old club friend, the beautiful Kin Vu, has toiled to make this happen, and she is wonderful, so it will be so.  The party has a live performances and DJs, and figures to be hot. However, it’s a private affair, so you may have to pull some strings. Try “Steve Lewis sent me.” That used to work.

Joe Jonas Pelted With Nerf Balls at Paper Magazine Party

Joe Jonas, the middle JoBro, opened for Swizz Beatz at a Paper magazine party in Williamsburg last week – and hipsters threw things at him. According to Gatecrasher, party guests “pelted him with mini-basketballs and greeted his performance with a mixture of derision and stony silence.” It all sounds pretty awkward! And you’d think these people could at least ironically enjoy a Jonas brother’s set.

In retrospect, the whole gig might have been ill-advised. First of all, what was Joe Jonas doing performing for hipsters in Williamsburg? Second, why was everyone at that party such an asshole? And third, how does Gatecrasher justify describing the crowd at a Paper magazine party as “hard-core”?

Jonas was reportedly reduced to hollering “How you guys doing tonight? Let’s have fun! Lemme see them drinks in the air!” which, if he was Justin Timberlake, would work, but he’s not. But kudos to the 21-year-old JoBro for trying, at least. To add insult to injury, Swizz, who went on after him, had “the room jumping and singing along.”