Los Angeles: Top 10 Celebrity-Owned Hotspots

1. Ago (West Hollywood) – De Niro’s joint. Paps in the parking lot, authentic pies on the table. 2. Dolce (West Hollywood) – Ashton Kutcher’s spot. Good food, plenty of eye candy. 3. Mulberry Street Pizzeria (Beverly Hills) – Seven tables, twenty-minute time limit on using said tables, one (four-time) Oscar-nominated owner — Cathy Moriarty, who also waitresses on occasion — all adds up to a blockbuster hit.

4. Geisha House (Hollywood) – Ashton again, this time in red, plus sushi. 5. Milky Way (Beverly Hills) – Spielberg’s mom owns the place. On the menu: Jewish fusion. On the walls: family photos. 6. Beso (Hollywood) – Eva Longoria is attached to this one. Try the carrot juice martini — make sure to order it at the communal aka “hook-up” centerpiece table. 7. Ortolan (Mid-City West) – Celebrity chef Christophe Eme and his celebrity wife Jeri Ryan own this hot French spot. They keep the dining room so dark, they hand you a wee flashlight to read the menu. The food is fantastic, even if you can’t see it. 8. Tagine (West Hollywood) – Ryan Gosling co-owns this tiny, sexy Moroccan hotspot. 9. Viper Room (West Hollywood) – Johnny Depp’s name is no longer on the deed, but we bet he touched a bunch of stuff in there. Now owned by pseudo-celeb Harry Morton of Pink Taco, it still rocks. Sort of. 10. Dominick’s (West Hollywood) – Rose McGowan, Ben Harper, and Laura Dern. They would make an awesome threesome. Or awesome business partners for a critic-worthy restaurant. Either way.

Los Angeles: Top 5 Restaurants Actually Worth the Second Mortgage

imageIn case of impending Armageddon, empty accounts here.

1. Totoraku A deep foodie secret, a vinophile chef, something to remember. 2. Fraiche Culver City has a great food scene, but this, this is the best. 3. Ortolan The experimental food, the fireplaces, the sommelier … la France en vie lounge.

4. Urasawa Two-fifty per person prix fixe, not including beverage. Expect to spend $400 after tip. Start a fund! 5. Cut Imported Kobe steak will set you back $120, but it’s splittable and unmissable, really.