Sick Of Swiping Left? Join The Inner Circle This Summer

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You need a date, but you’re tired of all that hustle just to end up with someone who’s idea of a romantic night is The Lion King. Seriously, you need an algorithm that works for you as seamlessly as your Spotify. A first date should be like a perfect playlist that takes you on a journey of discovery and familiarity. You know this tune well, and you need to put it on repeat.

Enter The Inner Circle. Thanks to a meticulous selection process, the exclusive dating app offers only the best – and most eligible – singles. With an easy-to-use interface that matches people based on common interests, The Inner Circle provides a safe and simple way to find your soulmate – without having to kiss a ton of frogs along the way.

Unlike other applications, The Inner Circle thoroughly vets each member before giving users the ability to chat with each other directly, so you can see if you have a real connection before taking the next step. Members can filter options through proximity, availability and interests, creating an environment where you can find real potential partners, instead of wasting your time continuously swiping left. With The Inner Circle, you don’t have to click through thousands of profiles – it’s a curated selection of only the best picks.

 

 

In addition to its unique approach to matching singles online, The Inner Circle also makes it easier to find love in person. By throwing chic monthly parties, the app gives its members even more chances to make connections in cool and comfortable spaces. While other apps have made dating a drag, The Inner Circle brings class back to dating – both online and IRL.

With The Inner Circle, there’s no need to spend summer waiting for love. It can come to you. You’ve got a beach bod to show off, and the days aren’t getting longer any more. Wedding season may be winding down, but who knows who might be getting married this time next year?

 

Sign up for The Inner Circle, here.

 

eHarmony Founder Looking to Spend $10 Million to Crack the Gay Code

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You know how gay people can’t join eHarmony? Oh, well, I say; we have literally every other dating site (plus a few of our own). But the creators of eHarmony (namely founder Neil Clark Warren, or the seemingly friendly old guy in those commercials) retalliated by creating an LGBT version of eHarmony called Compatible Partners. You see, dudes who like dudes and ladies who like ladies go about everything in a totally different way than normal straight people. Like, for example, gay men just start screwing each other immediately until they get bored after about three weeks, and lesbians pick up U-Hauls on the second date. That’s the kind of thinking, I guess, that is happening at the eHarmony board meetings, and now Warren thinks the company should spend a ton of money to figure out this whole gay business once and for all.

In a video interview with Yahoo Finance web series Off The Cuff (via Beta Beat), Warren goes into detail about what "damaged" his matchmaking company: the same-sex marriage issue. "I’m tired of it," he says. Warren continues, claiming that Christian users were so angry when Compatible Partners was launched (at the behest of the New Jersey attorney general, by the way, who found that eHarmony was discriminating against LGBT users) that the company "literally had to hire guards to protect our lives." (Oh, those Christians! So loving. So compassionate.) 

How can he, the grand master of online dating, fix this problem? Well:

I have said that eHarmony really ought to put up $10 million and ask other companies to put up money and do a really first class job of figuring out homosexuality. At the very best, it’s been a painful way for a lot of people to have to live. But at this point, at this age, I want America to start drawing together. I want it to be more harmonious.

Here’s a suggestion: stop being dicks, for one, and also pull your heads out of your asses and recognize that people who identify as one of the convenient letters that the mainstream press likes to throw around in an effort to be inclusive just want to be included. Because, honestly, people like me have the same desires that straight people have, and the fact that it’s 2013 and I have to type that out for anyone is something that consistently blows my mind. It’s not rocket science! It’s not even math, which is probably why the people who create online dating sites (which match you up based entirely on how one answer questions and curated cultural interests and not because of, say, mutual attraction) have such a hard time seeing it as a fact. 

And while we’re on the subject of eHarmony: the company’s self-reported statistics include claims like the following:

Every day in America, 542 people marry after meeting on eHarmony.com — according to the online dating website. That’s 5 percent of all new U.S. marriages. On average, there’s an eHarmony wedding every 2.65 minutes, the company claims.

How the hell does that work? I mean, really: think about it, folks. Is the point of a dating website—any dating website, from eHarmony to Match.com and OKCupid—to get you out of the singles game and into a long, lasting relationship? Or is the whole point of an online dating website to make money on its users who eventually return to said site to dip their toes back into the dating pool? It seems like a lot of dating sites haven’t figured out straight match-ups, so I don’t think we need to rack our brains too hard when it comes to finding out how to set up two gay guys or—gasp!—someone who falls under the T category. (But I’m pretty sure there aren’t too many people worried about catering to what seems like a small percentage of the population, right?)

But hey, if they wanna pass $10 million my way for a quick consultation on how to treat gay people with respect and tact, they should totally get in touch.

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

Yes, I Would Like To Learn More

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Of course I’m interested in making $5000 per week doing Google from home! Why didn’t you mention this earlier, pop-up ad? I’m languishing in poverty over here and you don’t think this easy way to make millions in cash is something I might like to hear about? Wait, scratch all that—looks like I just won a free iPod! I know that’s not as good as an iPhone, but this message is flashing pretty urgently.

How would I like to fill out surveys for free movie tickets? I’d like it plenty! But right now I’ve got to upload my credit card numbers to this blog that will let me download albums months before they even leak. Meanwhile, I have to say, it’s a relief to know getting a flat tummy requires only one weird trick—remembering several would have been tough. Who is this guy that language teachers hate? He seems like an intriguing fellow, what with the bowtie and all.

Can’t believe there’s a “Close” button on this live sex chat—there are some real morons out there, I guess, who don’t know a good thing when it’s right under their noses. There’s animated, graphic pornography featuring the characters from Futurama? You needn’t ask, just play it, and make it fullscreen for god’s sake, you make me sick. YES, I WANT TO MEET A FUCKBUDDY IN NEW YORK, what kind of idiotic question is that? I’m going to take her on the luxury Caribbean cruise I just won by knocking the monkey off the palm tree with a coconut. 

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Who Are You Weirdos Going Out for Frozen Yogurt on First Dates?

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Dating site How About We breaks down some of the statistics when it comes to dating, particularly the inaugural date: it seems as if millions of single people are meeting up to talk about themselves, learn about each other, and potentially make out—all centered around eating frozen yogurt! This is baffling to me, as I have probably eaten frozen yogurt perhaps three times in my life. (Um, scratch that; I just found one of those punch-cards from a frozen yogurt place in Brooklyn, and I can tell you for certain that I’ve had frozen yogurt four times in my life.) Anyway, frozen yogurt is a hot first-date date. 

According to How About We’s stats:

  • It’s suggested three times more often than the the second most popular dessert, pie.
  • Dates involving fro-yo account for 4% of all dates posted in the “Eat” category on HowAboutWe.
  • About 1 in every 5 foodie dates in Pittsburgh, Seattle & Denver involve the snack.
  • In NYC, it beats out every other food category, accounting for 12% of all food-based dates.

Is this why I was unlucky in love for so long? When I was online dating, the "first date" always turned out to be "the first couple of email exchanges," which was one step in making sure that the person whose self-curated web profile I found so attractive was actually not a total psychopath. The second date, then, was too many drinks and potential (probable) embarrassment. But hey, I am pretty much convinced I was doing it all wrong. This only proves it.

[via The Observer]

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

OKCupid Is Totally Not Cool With Kids in Trench Coats Posing as Adults

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How does one get himself banned from OKCupid? Well, hopefully harassment would count as an offense. Or, like, evil murder stuff. Another way of getting kicked off, apparently, is having a hilarious profile in which you make it seem that you might actually be two kids in a long trench coat posing as an adult even though you make it VERY CLEAR that you are not two kids in a long trench coat posing as an adult. Every day is a school day! I’ll get back to you in a few days to see if two puppets in a long trench coat posing as an adult human might get you banned from OKCupid.

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

‘NY Times’ Style Section Has Discovered OK Cupid

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It was bound to happen sooner or later: the New York Times‘ Sunday Style has discovered the online dating web site OK Cupid and it isn’t pretty. Kids Today (TM) just don’t know how to date anymore.

Reporter Alex Williams interviewed a series of urban women in their 20s and 30s about the post-apoaclyptic dating landscape in which we go back to a strange man’s apartment in for "boxed mac and cheese and whiskey" because that’s the best we can expect. I don’t know if Williams found only the most incompetant daters, or the ones with the lowest personal standards, but it’s probably a mix of both. (But not you Anna Goldfarb! Love you, girl! Buy her book!) 

I’m an avid online dater, which is basically the 2013 version of arriving out West at the tail end of the Gold Rush and sifting through dust for any sparkler you can find. And I’m going to say something about heterosexual dating that makes me sound like I’m crotchedy and old and not a feminist, when in fact I am 28-years-old and staunchly feminist: Ladies, men will treat you the way you convey to them its acceptable to treat you. 

The reason courtship is so confusing is because everyone, men and women, have loosened our standards. If what you want is traditional dating leading to a monogamous relationship, what you need to say in your profile—and back up in your behavior—is that you want traditional dating leading to a monogamous relationship. Potential romantic partners should be trying to make a good impression on you; show them how. It’s okay to say in a profile that you want to go on a "date," in which one of you picks a time and a place. It’s okay to delete messages from men whose idea of asking you out is sending their cell number and telling you to text them sometime. It’s okay to set reasonable standards, like no going to meet up with a guy the same evening (i.e. lack of planning on his side) or no meeting someone after, say, 10 p.m. (i.e. strong indication it might be a booty call). If men are afraid of offending women with "old-fashioned" ways, as Hanna Rosin from Slate suggests in the piece, then you need to communicate with them that you won’t actually be offended if he behaves somewhat traditionally on a first date, which, after all, is all about making a good impression. Setting standards doesn’t make you a bitch, or unfun, or uncool. It makes you a woman who knows what she wants.

Hookup culture is fabulous for what it is: fun, no-strings-attached sex. Sexual independence is one of best things about being a 28-year-old woman living in New York City in the 21st century. But we are only deluding ourselves if we think that the template for hookup culture and the template for courtship-leading-to-a-relationship are the same. Reading through the Style section piece, I felt like I should have a red pen to check off all the red flags of Hooking-Up-Pretending-To-Be-Dating, starting with Boxed Mac And Cheese And Whiskey Girl. Really? She went back to a dude’s apartment for boxed mac and cheese and whiskey and continued hooking up with him on weekends, initiating with a Thursday evening text message. There’s no indication that these two did much else other than hook up on weekends and therefore they had no foundation for building a relationship outside of the bedroom; unsurprisingly, it "petered out" after four months. Dude had better have been damn good at eating her out because that is some bullshit right there. And these guys who say they want to keep dates cheap and casual so they don’t have to "invest" anything in someone they’re not actually interested in? First of all, I have a job and my own money and can pay for my own cocktail, asshole. And second of all, fuck off.

I found myself most empathizing with the 29-year-old San Francisco woman who is interviewed at the very end of the article: 

Cheryl Yeoh, a tech entrepreneur in San Francisco, said that she has been on many formal dates of late — plays, fancy restaurants. One suitor even presented her with red roses. For her, the old traditions are alive simply because she refuses to put up with anything less. She generally refuses to go on any date that is not set up a week in advance, involving a degree of forethought.

Strict? Yes. Perhaps too strict? Probably. (Does anyone really know what they’re doing a week in advance?) But she’s going on "dates"—in her case, it sounds like kinda fancy ones—which is what she wants to do. She’s established her standards and men are meeting them. "She refuses to put up with anything else," writes Williams. Cheers to you, Cheryl Yeoh.

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter

Research Proves Online Daters Would Rather Admit Being Fat Than Conservative

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The science of love has gotten clearer in recent years with scholars being able to pull data from online dating sites like Match.com, OkCupid, and others. Along with no duobt discovering that travel and The Wire are pretty much universally loved, they’ve found some surprising stats. 

The New York Times has rounded up a number of reseachers to share some of their findings.  Here’s what you should know if you date online or are thnking about it.

  • Some 81 percent of people lie about their height, weight or age in their profiles, (so it’s kind of like any night at a bar IRL).  Women go 8.5 pounds thinner in their profiles while men usually lie about 2 pounds, but make themselves taller.
  • People were most honest about their age.
  • “White more than black, women more than men, and old more than young prefer a same-race partner.”
  • Women prefer men who are slightly chubby, while men prefer women who are slightly underweight and shorter than them.
  • Women like rich, tall men. (Shocker!)
  • People don’t like to give political affiliation. “People were much more likely to say ‘I’m fat’ than ‘I’m a conservative.’ ”

So be on the lookout for liars or go ahead and lie yourself, since hey, everybody else is doing it. Just remember, you may actually have to back up what you say in real life.