The Great Mascara Test of New Year’s Eve 2014

Stick me on deserted island and I’d ask for a pile of books and some mascara. There is something to be said for flaunting thick, full, long lashes. Whether I am hiding behind them or using them to get shit done, mascara makes me feel as if I could rule the world. (Am I right, ladies?) I rely on mascara to liven my tired winter weather-beaten face. Even on days when my skin looks blotchy and my hair frizzy I can always rely on mascara to pull everything together.

In preparation for New Year’s Eve, a night when pre-midnight eye contact is of the utmost importance, I tested a few mascaras. I was looking for something that gave me lush, full lashes but that didn’t lose anything in the way of length. I wanted my lashes to look perfect but also natural, you know, perfectly natural or naturally perfect.

The following conclusions are the result of lots and lots of eyelash batting (thank you to all the men who pretended it was completely normal when I stared you down on Madison Avenue!)

Benefit They’re Real

The best mascara for the faux eyelash lover, They’re Real leaves you with thick, long, luscious lashes, even if a little reminiscent of spider’s legs. This mascara does beg the question of whether or not your eyelashes are real because the length it begets is so not natural.  It’s perfect for those who love high-impact, big-drama makeup. A go-to for going out on the town and for anyone weary of putting on actual fake lashes but vying for that over the top effect. I was asked twice the day I wore it if my lashes were real and I couldn’t have been more pleased to answer yes, yes they are. In fact, it says so right on the tube.

Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara

With one sweep of the hourglass wand one experiences something that is not in fact better than sex, but actually kind of close plush, full, curled lashes. With a few more sweeps of the slightly cumbersome brush you can achieve a full fringe of thick, dark, doe-eyed lashes similar to those of violet-eyed Elizabeth Taylor. Less dramatic than the aforementioned Benefit iteration this mascara is a good every day go-to – especially if you want to look like Elizabeth Taylor everyday. Better Than Sex is best used at bat as you feel like you are capable of anything while wielding such luscious lashes… like seducing the perfect man standing across the bar.

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Bobbi Brown Intensifying Long-Wear Mascara

The perfect balance between natural and why-yes-I-have-really-long-thick-perfect-lashes, thank you very much. It’s perfect for every day use but with continued application can easily take you from day to night. It delivers soft, touchable lashes that won’t leave you with raccoon eyes by dint of smeared flakes. It kept my fringe looking pert until I finally decided to take it off even if that may have been some 16 hours later.

Lancome Doll Eyes Mascara

This mascara seems best for those already endowed with thick, long lashes. Despite continued attempts at creating that wide-eyed, flirty, doll eye I was usually left with a fair amount of clumps that I would later pick at while staring at my computer. The mascara smudged under my eye half way through the day, giving me a particularly intense case of raccoon eye. Good if you’re going for that worn in look.

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Maybelline Great Lash Mascara

This mascara does nothing particularly amazing in the way of volume or curl but everything you could hope for in length. I imagine that this mascara is a cult favorite due to its unbelievable shelf life. I keep it around to fill that space between mascara purchases for when I’m too tired to stop at Sephora. Great Lash Mascara has always been there to hold me over until my next trip down the rabbit hole. This mascara is consistent and stable and sometimes, like with men, in the fickle world of mascaras there is nothing more that you could hope for. Though this may not be my sole New Years Eve come-kiss-me-now mascara I will probably throw it in my clutch for that 11:35 retouch… because it’s reliable and by that time in the night it just has to work.

Lindsay Lohan Ends the Year with Threats of Legal Action

If you are in Dubai and were for some inexplicable reason super-psyched to be toasting 2012 in the vicinity of a VIP room holding a drunken-though claiming to be sober-Lindsay Lohan, sorry it’s not gonna happen. She has turned down the appearance on an ocean liner and is threatening the company with legal action for promoting her attendance.

Fresh off her  "boobs, ass, and vag" Marilyn Monroe-styled Playboy issue, she is apparently trying to spend some time out of the spotlight.  In accordance with the rule of celebrity paradox, she must first step into the press once more in order to get out of it.

TMZ reports that Lindsay’s reps have sent a cease and desist letter to the Dubai party planning company claiming that the star "will suffer harm and damage" if the company continues to use her name.

It has to be reassuring to know she is still a bankable draw somewhere. It’s nice to see her on the other side of the potential lawsuit for once. What a way to kick off 2012! 

Will Beyonce Make a Big Announcement on ‘New Year’s Rockin’ Eve’?

Did Beyonce have the baby? Did she not?  Oh the suspense for baby bump watchers, tabloid addicts and super fans!!! Though America’s leading celebrity couple has yet to confirm the birth, the always-reliable Internet is ablaze with rumors that Beyonce and Jay-Z have had a baby girl named Tiana May Carter.   Could the big announcement be made tonight to herald us into the new year?

Ryan Seacrest confirmed on Thursday night that she will appear in some capacity, via satellite feed or video or more unlikely in person, telling Extra:

"You will see Beyoncé on the show, I can’t tell you too much because they don’t tell me too much, but if you’re a Beyoncé fan — and man, is she looking good these days — you’ll want to see Beyoncé."

He could just be hyping up some sort of pre-recorded message, but there’s really no better opportunity for a baby announcement.  If it does happen, it will be interesting to see where the little one comes in the line-up.  Before or after Justin Bieber?  Post-Lady Gaga or will the baby be a warm-up act? What will Dick Clark say? 

Watch the Best Local News Bloopers of 2011

Much like cat videos, everyone loves a good YouTube of always-serious local newscasters cracking up, falling over, or messing up in some other unintentionally comical way. Unlike cat videos, they can be slightly harder to find.  Luckily, someone has put together a mega reel of the year’s best local news bloopers. It includes a water-powered jet pack mishap, animals, a random ‘your mama’ joke and farts.  If nothing else it’s sure to have you laughing like no other ‘best of’ list you’ll read today.  

 

Gwyneth Paltrow Would Like to Help Ease Your NYE Hangover

New Year’s Eve is the one time of the year everyone comes together in collective optimistic harmony, hoping for better things to come by getting as wasted as possible.  After ingesting gallons of cheap champagne straight from the bottle, New Year’s Day can be rough.  But don’t worry over-imbibers, Gwyneth Paltrow, in all her servicey GOOPness, has your back with some ridiculous and expensive hangover remedies. 

The best:

-First, drink Mercy, a water type drink full of nutrients that comes in a can and promises to prevent feeling like shit the next morning when drank the night before along with your cocktail.  I’ve tried it (really!) and it doesn’t work, but Gwyneth is an investor so there you go.

-In the morning, eat an Umeboshi plum.  Not just a plum, an ‘Umeboshi”  one.  They go for some $20 a package at your local over-priced gourmet store. 

-Find a lux spa that is open for the day (or rent one out, why not?) and get hydrotherapy. 
What is that you ask?  According to Gwyneth you 
”start in a hot, dry room and then move into an even warmer steam room. Then splash yourself with cold water (or even dunk in cold pool or under a cold shower). Follow it with a full body scrubdown, which is typically followed by a massage. At the end you’ll be sent to a cool room to relax and cool down.”

Doctors have discredited most of her tips, but hangover cures are never scientifically proven anyway.  It really comes down to who you choose to believe, a medical professional or a celebrity.  I think you know who Americans are more likely to choose. 

If you do go ahead and give her tips a go and they don’t work, best advice: sleep it off or drink more. 

NYE Sale, Virgin America

All right all you last minute travelers, if you want a chance to get out of town for NYE, Virgin America is throwing you a bone. For their final hurrah of 2009, Virgin America is having one last fire sale and has come up with fares that should go easy on your bank account, like $39 one-ways between Los Angeles and San Francisco, $59 one-ways between Los Angeles and Seattle, and the $99 one-ways cross country between Los Angeles and New York, Washington D.C. and San Francisco, and even between Ft. Lauderdale and Los Angeles.

The best part about this sale is that the fares are good with only a one-day advance purchase, so you can head out of town as early as tomorrow. You can also travel through the end of February on these seats. You’ve got to book by tonight and there are a few blackout dates — January 2 + 3, and February 12 and February 15. Happy New Year, courtesy of Virgin America. Book here.