Barbie Fights Back + Facebook Turns 10

As Predicted: Conservatives Bash Coca-Cola Ad

“’America the Beautiful’ should only be sung in American!”

Facebook Turns 10

Remember a prehistoric world before Facebook; when MySpace walked the earth…

Gay-Marriage Ban Challenged in VA

It’s becoming harder and harder to be a redneck these days; a U.S. district judge will begin considering a reversal of Virginia’s gay-marriage ban.

Web Companies Reveal NSA Requests

During the first half of 2013, between 15,000 and 15,999 Microsoft accounts, 9,000 and 9,999 Google accounts, and 5,000 to 5,999 Facebook accounts were subject to requests.

Barbie’s Designer Defends Barbie’s Crazy Proportions

Designer fires back about generations of insecure body image issues.

This Whiny Conservative Screed Against Millennials Is Actually The Best

It’s hard to know why columnist Kurt Schlichter decided to wait until Barack Obama had been elected president twice and in the White House for almost five years before unleashing a torrent of hatedirected at the young voting bloc that helped to put him there, but here we are. Maybe he’s just been revising it for the last forty months? Either way, this is a master class in how to write the dumbest op-ed possible—and at TownHall.com, that’s no small feat. For starters, he spelled “Millennials” wrong in the headline.

It begins with a lot of “we warned you,” with “you” meaning you idiots who voted for Obama (but are reading a conservative website?), or, more broadly, “the couch-dwelling, Democrat-voting losers who live off of food stamps and order junk from QVC with their Obamaphones.” What on earth is an Obamaphone, and why the hell don’t I have one! DID YOU GUYS NOT TELL ME ABOUT THE OBAMAPHONES. “You didn’t listen to us,” Schlichter continues. “Maybe you’ll listen to pain.” Well that turned into a Nine Inch Nails song pretty quickly, didn’t it.

He goes on to insult your “crappy music” (Mumford & Sons), dismisses the NSA spying controversy by noting that “your tacky boudoir fumblings are the last thing conservatives care about” and mocks you for daring to study “Ancient Guatemalan Gender Identity Issues” at your liberal college at an age when he was doing something much more constructive: it’s called going to war, you pussies. The nub of his advice comes down to “Now fetch my latte—I’m in a hurry to get to my corner office. And I’ll leave you a tip—next time you decide to vote for a liberal, first be born in 1964.” Very constructive! We’ll get right on that.

Photo via

Alex Jones and the NSA: Two Things That Scare Me

I pretty much hate radio show host Alex Jones and InfoWars as much as I hate Scientology or scabies.  You might remember Alex Jones from his appearance on CNN with Piers Morgan – where it segued into an incoherent pro-gun rant. ("I’m here to tell you, 1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms!") Jones believes he is a seeker of THE TRUTH, when in reality he’s just a scared little man disguised in the mask of a loud, paranoid bully.

Granted, it’s pull-the-covers-over -your head/extremely frightening thing that the NSA is building the biggest the country’s biggest spy center out in Bluffdale, Utah. The billion dollar government facilty, housed in the heart of Mormon polygamy country:

Rather than Bibles, prophets, and worshippers, this temple will be filled with servers, computer intelligence experts, and armed guards. And instead of listening for words flowing down from heaven, these newcomers will be secretly capturing, storing, and analyzing vast quantities of words and images hurtling through the world’s telecommunications networks.

"Reporters" for Jones’ radio show, InfoWars, ventured to the Utah Data Center to seek…THE TRUTH. They were confronted by a security guard who confiscated their cameras after repeatedly telling them it’s clearly posted that it’s illegal to film on the property.

Question: Were these reporters being brought down by THE MAN because they wanted to seek THE TRUTH, or were they simply harassing a low-level security guard? Let us know in the comment section below. 

The NSA Has An App For You

Oh where have you gone Edward Snowden; a nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you.

The boulder that got rolling back in June, by NSA systems analyst Edward Snowden – is rolling faster down the mountain. It’s a given that the NSA mined American’s social media and emails. We’ve grown to accept this and realize that free email and free social networks come with a price. Fine. 

Now,a latest disclosure will make you pull the covers over your head at night: The NSA tried to track Americans’ cellphone locations:

NSA chief Gen. Keith Alexander told Congress on Wednesday that his spy agency ran tests in 2010 and 2011 to see if it was technically possible to gather U.S. cell-site data, which can show where a cellphone user traveled. The information was never used, Alexander said, and the testing was reported to congressional intelligence committees. Now, top U.S. intelligence officials are revealing more about their spying in an effort to defend the National Security Agency from charges that it has invaded the privacy of Americans on a mass scale.

That’s right, the NSA has now turned into a public spying version of Grindr!

FACTS ABOUT THE NSA SPYING ON AMERICANS:

-Director of National Intelligence James Clapper stated: "“On occasion, we’ve made mistakes, some quite significant. … Whenever we found such mistakes, we’ve reported, addressed and corrected them.” To paraphrase Clapper’s statement, he simply said, "Whoops!" 

-In 2012, NSA chief Keith Alexander told Congress that his agency doesn’t even have the ability to collect data on Americans. Why do we get more outraged when Anthony Weiner lied about his Twitter pics? 

-The FBI’s top priority for 2013 is to increase their online surveillance authority. According to the feds, the limitations on their surveillance powers may now pose a “threat to public safety.”

-NSA not only spied on the public, but it also broke the rules to read their wives’/lovers’/partners’e-mails and other communications. This was done so much that they even gave it a cute  often nickname — LOVEINT. Essentially they let NSA employees be online stalkers. 

-After the Snowden leaks, James clapper sent a letter to Sen. Dianne Feinstein, apologizing for his “clearly erroneous” testimony, because he “simply didn’t think” of a major provision of the Patriot Act. Previously, he testified that the NSA does “not wittingly” collect data on Americans.

What The NSA Learned About Me From My Phone Records

It’s hard to admit, but yes: I am a Verizon customer. My first iPhone contract was with AT&T, which was so awful I switched carriers in revenge, only to discover that the alternative is arguably worse. Especially now that we come to find out the National Security Agency has been indiscriminately collecting millions of phone records from Verizon customers in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. So what sort of data did they pull?

The content of phone conversations is not covered in the shady court order that spurred this privacy invasion, but the frequency and length of calls most certainly is. That means the NSA now knows my average call time with an actual parent maxes out at around ninety seconds, while call times with my in-laws can stretch to an interminable nine or ten minutes. Their files must also mention how often my mom butt-dials me and then calls back to ask if I just called.
 
What would be most suspicious in my personal dossier, however, is the alarming number of single calls by international numbers emanating from or near Newark International Airport. Had the NSA actually bothered to tap my phone, they’d realize this is merely because my number is a digit off from Delta’s lost luggage service or customer complaint hotline, which gets a lot of traffic. As it is, I’m sure I appear to be a highly connected terrorist operative running an east coast sleeper cell. I’ll send you a postcard from Gitmo.