The 50 Most Embarrassing Songs You’ve Shared On Facebook

Every several weeks, I like to play a little game. I log on Facebook and scroll down the sidebar minifeed, where my best friend’s Spotify song listenings always pop up. She works under the alias of her work’s company name since she’s their main FB promoter, which is both highly protective and also dangerous. Around 11am, I take a gander at the list and, without-fail, there it is: a Twilight soundtrack song or a Gwen Stefani power piece. Sometimes an obscure song from Creed.

This is when I hop on Gchat and start a conversation like, “So weird, but remember that song by the guy with the long hair that goes ‘when you’re not with me, I’m free,’ and in the music video he’s singing on a canoe in a drowning village? It’s been stuck in my head all morning.” And she goes “OMG! ‘My Sacrifice’ by Creed! I was just listening to that. That’s crazy!” And this is when I crack up at my own morning entertainment and vow never to tell her my little trick.

Two authors also find amusement in such twisted things: Rob Tannenbaum and Craig Marks, the co-authors of a book about the creation of MTV that has become such a hit that a movie adaptation is in the works. They’ve pulled together a list of the fifty most embarrassing songs we’ve shared on Facebook. Yes, songs like “We Are The World,” and Susan Boyle’s “Hallelujah” do top the list. And the entire list can be listened to on loop on Slacker Radio’s new “most embarrassing” station. Don’t worry, no one will know.

Is your most embarrassing shared song on here? Take a look.

1) Chris Brown, "Strip""

2) Train, "Hey Soul Sister"

3) Susan Boyle, "Hallelujah"

4) Nickelback, "Rockstar"

5) Pitbull, "Dont Stop The Party"

6) Limp Bizkit, "Nookie"

7) Artists for Haiti, "We Are the World"

8) Jason Mraz, "I’m Yours"

9) Owl City, "Fireflies"

10) Bon Iver, "Holocene"

11) James Blunt, "You’re Beautiful"

12) Hammer, "Pumps and a Bump"

13) Starship, "We Built This City"

14)  U2 "Vertigo"(#14 for obvious catorce reasons)

15) Jessie J, "Price Tag"

16) Barenaked Ladies, "One Week"

17) Sting, "Fields of Gold"

18) Black Eyed Peas, "My Humps"

19) Spin Doctors, "Two Princes"

20) Simon and Garfunkel, "The Sound of Silence"

21) Five For Fighting, "Superman (It’s Not Easy)"

22) Flo-Rida, "Whistle"

23) Deep Blue Something, "Breakfast at Tiffanys

24) Bon Jovi, "It’s My Life"

25) Colbie Caillat, "Bubbly"

26) Enrique Iglesias, "Hero"

27) Counting Crows, "Big Yellow Taxi"

28) Creed, "With Arms Wide Open"

29) Ja Rule, "Always on Time" (f/Ashanti)

30) Toby Keith, "Courtesy of the Red White and Blue"

31) Crash Test Dummies, "Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm"

32) Paris Hilton, "Turn You On"

33) Dynamite Hack, "Boyz n the Hood"

34) Ed Sheeran, "Wake Me Up"

35) Madonna, "Give Me All Your Luvin"

36) Eamon, "Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)"

37) Rascal Flatts, "What Hurts the Most"

38) Aaron Carter, "Aaron’s Party"

39) Kreakshawn, "Gucci Gucci"

40) Miley Cyrus, "Party In The USA"

41) 3 Doors Down, "Kryptonite"

42) Frank Sinatra ‘My Way"

43) REM, "Shiny Happy People"

44) Paula Cole, "I Don’t Want to Wait"

45) Justin Timberlake ‘Sexy Back"

46) Hinder, "Lips of an Angel

47) Akon, "Lonely"

48) Genesis, "Illegal Alien"

49) Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl"

50) John Mayer, "Your Body Is a Wonderland"

 

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Nickelback, Jason Alexander Still Things, We Guess

The origin story of a certain wildly successful but wildly maligned Canadian alt-rock band involves one band member’s experiences dealing with customers’ change at his job at Starbucks. So it was only a matter of time before Nickelback went back to their barista roots with a music video, in this case for "Trying Not To Love You." But what is unexpected is the premise of the "Trying Not To Love You" video, which doesn’t quite fit with your standard longing-for-love alt-ballad. Seinfeld‘s Jason Alexander stars as a barista blessed with a talent for latte art, trying to court former Baywatch star Brooke Burns, here as "Gennifer, with a ‘g.” Alexander’s plans are thwarted when a rival barista with the dress and faux-swagger of a self-proclaimed "Pickup Artist" (also played by Alexander! The versatility!) comes in and gets the girl. Also, at some point, Brooke Burns goes all American Beauty and covers herself with coffee beans. Well, alright then. 

Will this video become to 2012 what Insane Clown Posse’s "Miracles" video was to 2010? The answer to that would probably be "no," since much of America was just discovering juggalos with the advent of "Miracles," whereas mockery of Nickelback hasn’t been fun, enjoyable or particularly clever for years now. Still, Nickelback or not, everything about the video is pretty bizarre, and other quandaries still remain. Most importantly, did Jason Alexander actually learn how to make beautiful, elaborate latte flowers and elephants by himself or do you hire a stunt double for that? If the latter, who was the expert barista hired to work on this thing? So many questions. 

Watch Nickelback Respond to YouTube Comments

How good is Nickelback at being funny while responding to comments about them on YouTube? About as good as they are at not sucking, which–given the band’s divisiveness–could mean one of two very different things. So why don’t you just watch the video and find out for yourself! And while you’re at it, please figure out what the hell is on Joey’s head.

You May Never Have To Listen To Nickelback Ever Again

We try to keep a celebratory attitude towards bands and celebrities here at Blackbook, but every once in a while we get a snarktastic story that is simply too good to pass up. ‘Nickelblock’ is a plug-in for Chrome and Firefox web browsers that blocks any and all mentions of the massively derided Canadian schlock-ternative band. It should win a Nobel Prize for its sheer, tears-of-joy enducing greatness. 

You may now browse the internet free from hearing frontman Chad Kroger’s goat-like warbling over thrice wamred over Alice In Chains riffs rewritten for people who don’t either know nor care about good music. This might sound like a harsh judgment on the band, but my God, a petition was filed and signed by thousands of people so that the band wouldn’t play a recent halftime show. That’s thousands upon thousands of people vocally exclaiming their disdain for awful music. 

You can download the plug-in here, with special thanks to our friends at Buzzfeed for showing us the way. 

It’s Official: Chad Kroeger Is an Ass

Before a wave of great bands—Arcade Fire, Wolf Parade, Metric—came out of Canada, there was Nickelback. Initially made famous, in part, thanks to Spider-Man, the band is less visible now than in the early-aughts explosion of vulgar jock rock. But the group is still one of the most successful—and criticized bands—in popular music– a culmination of the mass perversion of Kurt Cobain’s music into bland accessibility. Where I come from (Canada), there are as many people that hate Nickelback as love them. They are our Obama, a fault line running straight through the heart of a once united land. Chad Kroeger, with his flared jeans, bleached blond hair, and leather cuffs, is the face of the band. And now, thanks to a lost bet, he is the face on some poor Australian’s ass. Also, that mic he’s holding? It’s a penis.

(‘DiggThis’)image